Nadine Dyer (00:01.166)
Welcome back, beautiful sister and friend. I am here with Ms. Shan Wright. And if you caught the last episode, it is all about releasing anxiety. And the last, she got to share her story on the last one, being a mom of four, a holistic nurse coach and how she dealt with postpartum anxiety and how it was a label and part of perfectionism. And if you didn't catch the last episode, you need to, okay? Cause that will really set you up for this one.

But this one is all about the practical. Cause I was like, give me the good stuff. And she had shared a story about how she had broke down. Like she had hit a rock bottom. Hi Sham, glad you're back. Sorry. We're like, let's go. I just want the good stuff. And she had said, you know, she had hit kind of, she didn't say it in these words, but here's my summary. She had hit her rock bottom with anxiety. It was after having her third baby and she had all these things.

Shan Wright (00:38.488)
Okay, let's go. Let's go.

Nadine Dyer (00:52.43)
And she sat with God and was crying out to him to fix it. And he said, no, but he said, do these four things and you will have peace. Do these four things and you will have peace. And then she led us to some scripture. It was so good. So today is all about practical applications to releasing anxiety. Ready, set, Shan, give me the good stuff. Tell me what to do.

Shan Wright (00:59.948)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (01:11.64)
Okay. Well, it's the stuff from God.  So it is good. And yes, so it came from the scripture of Mary and Martha when Jesus is in their home and Mary is sitting at his feet and soaking it all in and Martha is busy in the kitchen and preparing and being the hostess with the mostest and she's feeling stressed because in her heart, she wants to be at his feet. So she finds it unfair.

She feels like I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do, all the shoulds, everything I should do. But Mary's getting to just relax and hear your word and sit with you and be with you. And his response to her was so gentle, which I've heard this story a thousand times. But when I heard it this past spring, I resonated so much. was like, this is the exact prayer conversation I had with God,

 what, eight years ago when I had my third baby and  his response was so gentle with me then too. And it was Martha, Martha, like he says it twice and I just feel so much love and  grace in that. Like, I love you so much. I love that you want to be with me and you feel like you can't and you're asking for help, which is, I'm glad you're calling out for help. I'm glad you're saying 

you want some help, but this what Mary's doing will not be taken away from her because this is actually the most important thing. And I love that you're responsible and you care so hard, but those things can wait. And so I'm going to tell you just the four things, just the four things that you can do to feel peace and be at my feet. Because he said there's a few things that are needed, but indeed only one. 

The number one thing is to be at his feet. And that's what Mary was doing. And so he's like, yes, Martha, I wanna get you at my feet. This is where I want you to be. And I'm gonna put those other things in order how you are supposed to prioritize them so that you can be at my feet and find peace. And this is what I call my bold blueprint. He gave me this blueprint

Shan Wright (03:35.672)
to release this anxiety and this perfectionism and to live in freedom of receiving his grace and not having to strive and perform and achieve anymore and just be in freedom of all that. So I guess I wanna also say the four things with the fact that I call it bold blueprint because just a few years ago, I was

I had always been called shy and shy good girl, like living under this perfectionism my whole life. it came in like, well, you're shy and you're a good girl and you're perfectionist and that's what you're supposed to be. But I never felt like I was shy. I always felt like I I had my voice trapped and it wasn't until  I was sitting alone with him. Actually it was Epiphany, which that's my favorite day of the year. It's January 6th and Epiphany is

the day that we recognize the wise men going to see Jesus and seeing the light. And so you get this epiphany, right? And so you, I was praying for an epiphany and, and I, he said to me, you're not shy. You are called to be strong and courageous and I'm with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9. And to, to like full circle moment it, that is the verse

He gave me when I had my third baby and when I was in that postpartum anxiety with this whole burnout prayer, That was the verse. I didn't realize he gave it for me. He gave it for that baby too, because I was praying for a verse for that child, but it was for me. It was be strong and courageous for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Do not be discouraged because I'm with you. And when he said that to me, he's like, you're not shy, you're strong and courageous. Remember, I've called you that.

Nadine Dyer (05:03.938)
Hmm.

Shan Wright (05:28.93)
I've been calling you that for a long time and I never called you to be shy. And I just started taking these small little steps in courage. And so when I use this blueprint, which I call the bold blueprint to help other women, it's calling them into this courage that God is always calling us into. He doesn't call us anywhere in the Bible to be shy and reserved and hold all the good stuff inside. He wants us to share it with the world.

And so he's wanting us to take these courageous steps. And if you do these four things, you are stepping in courage every time because it is what he's called us to do. It's what he's,  he's not asking us to have a perfect home and a perfect job and a perfect family and a perfectly behaved kids. He's asking us to be courageous and to be bold for him and to bring others to his feet. That's what he's asking us to do.

But we get caught up in so many responsibilities and all these to-dos. So, yeah, he's like, wake up. There's just these important things. Because  another thing of this is you're trying to do all these things, but I'm only asking you to steward your one life. We are called to be stewards. At the end of the day,  he's going to say, well done, good and faithful servant. 

Nadine Dyer (06:47.854)
Hmm.

Shan Wright (06:54.614)
You've been a steward of what I've given you and he gives us time because he gives us the day. We do not deserve today. We're not promised tomorrow. He gives us the day. So we are to steward the time. We are to steward our bodies.

Nadine Dyer (07:07.956)
You have me emotional. I'm just like, you know, this is really speaking to me. Thank you. Keep going. But I'm just like, what the heck is happening within me right now?

Shan Wright (07:13.912)
You're welcome. Yeah. We are to steward our one bodies as all we're given is one body. We're to steward our marriages. Like that's a gift. That's not something that we were promised either. We're not promised. And if you've been given one, maybe you're not. And that's completely fine. You've been stewarded. You have a gift of singlehood and that's what you're supposed to steward. You're supposed to steward what you've been given and children, each a gift. We do not

 deserve them and we do not have control over them. Like what's been given can be taken away. And so we're just supposed to steward it to His glory. And that's all we're called to do. So my four things were Him saying, be a steward of your life. That's all I'm asking. And so number one is to be a steward with my time and give it to Him first. So spend time with Him first. And in that postpartum season with three babies at the time, I now have four, it was

I don't care if it's five minutes. I don't care if it's with the baby or with the toddlers. I just want your time. I want your attention. I want to be with you. I want you at my feet. Like Mary, that will not get taken away from her. She chose the best thing. So we value our time. What we spend our time on is really where our heart lies. It's our priorities. And He's like, I want your time, the first of it. 

And that comes down to really believing who you are, your identity. And so that's why it was like, I don't want you to live under being shy because if you live under that shy good girl, you're not going to,  you can't be courageous and live in the identity of how I made you. So in this whole thing of spending time with Him, you are really learning more and more each day who you are, who He created you to be,

and how He wants you to live out in this world. So it's not just, me read  or let me just pray, God help me with this meeting today and with this and that like, it's not like just coming to Him and just pouring out all these requests. It's actually just spending time with Him so you can get to know yourself and you can get to know Him. It's like a, you know,  a relationship that you're building. Number two is

Shan Wright (09:38.004)
really all about loving others as yourself. I feel like we skip out on the golden rule so much and like, we're like, yeah, I'm going to love others. God wants me to love people, but we don't realize that it says love others as yourself. And so as a caregiver, and  I talked to a lot of nurses and caregivers and  just moms in general, we put everyone else above ourselves and we don't spend enough time on our holistic wellness.

I'll get to that later. I'll get to the gym later. I'll start eating healthy later. Right now I'm stressed and I want, I just want to grab this soda or I, I don't have time to go workout. I just don't have time for it. I'm caring for everyone else. And so number two, when He gave it to me in that season, it was just move your body 30 minutes a day. And then you build on that. So once I got through that season and committed to 30 minutes a day,

Nadine Dyer (10:29.517)
Yep.

Shan Wright (10:35.884)
then I could start focus on, and now how am I fueling my body for that? How am I eating? It was one step at a time. But if I didn't do the first step, I wasn't going to be able to build and get healthier in all my holistic wellness.  So I had to take that first step and he just said 30 minutes a day, that's it. Just move your body. So broke it down so simply. And then number three was to

well, very practically for me, He told me date night with my husband and it could be at home. It could be just,  you know, an hour conversation with him, with the kids in bed. It, you know, preferably is outside the home, but it was really about keeping ministries in check. So your first marriage, if you're married, that's your first ministry. If you have kids, that's your second ministry.  If you have a job,

and a career, that's your third ministry. So like to focus on the priorities of where you're spending your time and not only like not saying, okay, because my husband's my first ministry, I need to spend 80 % of my time with him and 20 % of work. No, it's just, are you thinking of your husband and valuing that relationship and stewarding it well?

in the midst of your week or is your calendar filled with meetings all day every day and you're like I'll give him Sunday afternoon. Like where are your priorities and just do a check of them with your calendar and with the time that you're spending and  if you're spending all your time focused on your kids and always thinking about your kids then where are you valuing your marriage and where are you investing in it and stewarding it well,

 if you're always thinking about your children? So that was the third one. And then the fourth one was in that season, it was where the enemy wants us to keep stay isolated and alone and sit in our fear and anxiety. He said, you need to get out with your girlfriends once every two weeks. It needs to be a girlfriend date, not a let's meet up at the park with a play date with all our kids, but let's have a vulnerable, authentic 

Shan Wright (12:57.57)
communication together, whether it's a dinner or just a coffee date or whether it's a walk, like be real, be,  enjoy it, like have fun. I needed to laugh. And who do you laugh most with? then your girlfriends, like I needed to just release,  joy and just be joyful. And that comes from, you know, yeah, just having good old girl talk. And it's hard to do that with kids. And it's hard to do that when you're all

living in your anxiety and struggling all and being like, I don't have time to go out with my girlfriends. Well, make the time because that is actually healing in so many ways. And so the way that, you know, this blueprint, way that you can translate that fourth one as well is how are you living out intentionally your identity and your purpose? It's gotta be with community. It's gotta be with relationships. It can't be,

you can't steward your identity alone in your house by yourself. You have to live it out loud and you have to be bold with it. And it might be bold in like in your own way. It's going to it all depends on your identity and how God made you. But for me being that, you know, I'm not shy, but I'm strong and courageous. And God called me a peaceful spokesperson. Then I

had to start podcasting. So I have my own podcast and I was like, I don't talk, remember? I just, my voice is inside and when it comes out, it's like, it cracks and I'm shaky and I can't do it. I'm uncomfortable, I can't. And God's like, no, you were made to do this. So this is what you do. You've been living that lie for way too long. It's time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Nadine Dyer (14:48.044)
I'm so glad you stopped living it, because we need this.

Shan Wright (14:55.32)
So yeah, all about, know, people are always curious, like, what's my purpose and why am I here on Earth? Like when they start to really have those deep thoughts and conversations and  it's like, well, you have to know how, why you're made and your identity in order to figure out your purpose. And I know you love that with Purposeful Living. It's like we live on purpose, but you have to know who you are and how God made you. And He's like, I didn't make you shy. So you can't do your purpose if you're going to stay shy.

Nadine Dyer (15:25.87)
 This is just really great. The funny thing, Shan is you didn't tell me anything new, right? It's all stuff. It's self-care and it's, know, ministering to my husband and being in community and fellowship and prioritizing time with the Lord and looking to him for my identity. like, it's all the stuff I know, but I love the way you laid it out. And it is so like, it's like a gut check of like, hold on.

Shan Wright (15:34.092)
Yeah.

Nadine Dyer (15:54.71)
What are all the things I'm carrying and what do I really need to be carrying? Like what am I really being called to do?  I heard a story once of this guy who's going up a mountain, know, he's climbing his little way up the mountain and it's, this isn't a real story. This is like a made up whatever.

Shan Wright (15:58.22)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Nadine Dyer (16:12.83)
And he's got his backpack that God told him to take up the mountain and his water. And he's just ready to go. And he stops in the first town and he meets some people. And they're like, man, you're going up that mountain. I need to get this up the mountain. Someday I hope. He's like, I'll take that for you. I'm going up anyway. Come on, just put it on my bag. So he stops at the next town and the next town, something similar happens. And every town he stops at.

He just loads more and more and more that he's carrying up this mountain and he's like 70 % up the hill and he's like drops everything and he's cursing God and crying out to him like, why do you give me so much to carry, Lord? Like, why? And God's like, I didn't give you any of this. I gave you one bag and a thing of water. Like that was your only thing you were called to steward. The rest you brought on yourself, you know? And it's like, we do that, we do that.

Shan Wright (16:56.28)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (17:01.72)
Yeah. Yeah, That's good.

Nadine Dyer (17:04.886)
And That was like, listening to you was like, what really matters? Like, what are you really called to steward here? And I love that word. And I also love that you were like, hey, there are a few that matter, but really only one. Like, if we get it all wrong, if we can just make our time with God the priority so we can remember who He is and who we are, I love that.

Shan Wright (17:13.494)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shan Wright (17:32.63)
Yeah. Yeah.

Nadine Dyer (17:33.292)
I love that reminder, Shan. Like, I need to be reminded of who I am, because the world's going to scream at me who I am, and old tapes are going to scream at me who I am, and all these false identities and lies that will keep me stuck in fear and anxiety and schedules. And it's like, wait a minute, who does God say I am?

Shan Wright (17:35.8)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (17:45.878)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (17:53.452)
Yeah, yeah. I know, and that's the thing. I was in a complete burnout spiral and God was so kind.  Well, I mean, He told me no, and I was like, what? You're not gonna help me? He was like, I've got so much more for you. We get so anxious and worried about many things, and He's like, I have abundant life for you.

if you would just let me, if you would let me carry the burden, if you would let me help you in the way that you really need help. You're like, we don't even know what we need. And He was like, I do, let me help you. And yeah, it was just so kind. And I'm like, it got me right out of that. Oh, by the way, cause remember this was third baby, fourth baby, I had postpartum anxiety again and it was 2020. So March, 2020.

was the baby's birthday.

Nadine Dyer (18:51.522)
open time. Everybody's home. You're just like get out of my face.

Shan Wright (18:57.44)
Yeah, so like I had this blueprint and I was like, I'm supposed to do these things. Well, first of all, I can do two of them, kind of. I can't really have dates with my husband and I can't really get in community. Like, how do I do this? I mean, if you struggle in this way, the enemy is gonna always, it's gonna be your thing that you have to constantly be reminded. Okay, how do I, how do I take courage in this? I'm not supposed to be discouraged,

or fear. Okay, I'm feeling that right now. Recognizing your feelings, being self-aware, don't put shame on them. And like, how do I take courage in this? And I mean, literally, March 2020, it looked like walking around my kitchen table with my baby strapped to my chest, singing  the blessing on repeat. And like, that song was just what carried me through and I just sang it.

And I mean, there was my 30 minutes walking around my table. did it. So like it, you just have to realize fear is it just can't get you, but you have to choose and be like, recognize that it's like you are being fearful and you are being anxious and be like, okay, I feel it. I know it's there. I'm not going to be it. And I'm going to take the next courageous step.

Nadine Dyer (20:17.624)
So good. It's not like, okay, it's not a one and done where it's like, okay, I've overcome anxiety. It's a daily choice of like, what am I gonna give my thoughts captive to? Where am I gonna put my energy? How am I gonna steward my time? So good.  So as we wrap up, Shan is there anything that you wanna speak into our listener or to our listener right now to wrap up this episode and this time together?

Shan Wright (20:21.389)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (20:25.56)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shan Wright (20:44.024)
 Yeah, so I would say, okay, so I didn't really even mention this, but being a nurse, I love all this stuff.  Stress, we all deal with stress on daily basis and chronic stress and an overload of stress leads us to anxiety. And so a lot of people are like, and then down that hill, down that slope even further is burnout. And so we can find ourselves anywhere on that slope, but

It creeps up fast and you don't realize it before you're there. And we're like, well, what are we going to do? Life is stressful. Well, yes, it is stressful. And you have internal stressors and you have external stressors and they're coming all the time. But if we don't take a look and like assess the situation, then it's going to take out our mental wellness. It's going to take out our physical wellness. It's going to have effects on our whole body,

and our holistic wellness. And so this is what I do is I like to help people assess their stress and give them a baseline for like, you're actually, you're already in burnout, but here's some steps you can take, or you're headed to burnout fast and here's some things you can do, or  you're doing really good, but stress comes all the time. So here's some preventative things that you can do, right? And so I...

I do this free on a call as a nurse coach. This is like what I love to talk about and help people through. So I just want people to be aware. Like, yes, we deal with stress all the time, but be aware it leads to anxiety and burnout. So you can be there before you realize it and you might already be there. And so the first thing is to be self-aware and take a look, have those moments of reflection. Like those journaling moments, God, where,

where's the stress? What am I afraid of? What am I fearing right now? What is going on inside of me? And then, yeah, talking to someone like me, like a coach, who's gonna help you figure out now how to handle the stress, how to manage it, how to reduce it, how  to live holistically well in the middle of it. So we can put that link in the show notes or something for the free call.

Nadine Dyer (22:57.038)
Beautiful.

Yeah, we'll make sure it's included in there. And is also on our Purposeful Living website. So if you go under the Purposeful Women's Network, it's under resources. You can also get access to all of her information there. But it'll be included in the show notes. So Shan, thank you so much for all of this. This was so exactly needed for me. I'm hoping it's... If it was nobody else that's listening, was exactly what I needed.

Shan Wright (23:11.34)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shan Wright (23:18.936)
you

Nadine Dyer (23:26.168)
To you sister out there who's listening, I just wanna remind you that I love you, we love you, God loves you, that He created you beautifully and He has a plan and a purpose for you that is uniquely you. And I don't think we can fully step into that until we can release some of these things that we're carrying that aren't ours. So I just wanna encourage you to do the work. It's so worth it. I know it's hard,  but you were created for purpose, on purpose and the world needs it. So let's do that.

 We will catch you at the next episode. Bye sister.

Shan Wright (23:59.896)
Bye.