Nadine Dyer (00:01) Welcome back sisters. We are so happy to have you on. I am joined here today by Ms. Sue Finkam For those of you who joined us for our last episode, we were talking to her as the current mayor of the city of Carmel here in Indiana. And she kind of talked to us about purpose. And so today we're gonna actually dive into practical applications that will help women discover their purpose, find their drive to purpose, step into their purpose, all that good stuff. So Sue, welcome back and the floor is yours. Let's talk about practical applications to purpose. Sue Finkam (00:41) Thank you. Thanks for coming back, everybody. You know, I thought as we were talking earlier, several things came to mind when you said path to purpose. And I feel like what is a path? What is a stepping— What are the stepping stones you have to take? And I think the first thing that came come to my mind is like, to me, energy is passion. So what energizes you must be what you're passionate about. I think as women, whatever age they are at in their career and life, you really pay attention to that. You know, I had someone tell me, posted a picture not too long ago and said, that picture of you is glowing. And I know what it is because I'm with a fifth grader who was just doing something at a city council meeting. And I just love that. I love those interactions. They're like two minutes long and it just makes me so happy. And I think those kinds of moments we have to catalog. If we're really struggling to find what our purpose is, not even struggling, we're just trying to go on a self-discovery journey, what lights you up? What turns you on and gets you out of bed and just excited? And I hear women say, want to do a mid-career change. It's like, well, what were those jobs and opportunities that you just loved? And what do they have in common? Because that's probably your passion. And also, I think another step on the path, so to speak, is to kind of inventory your strengths and talents. Because it's highly likely, but not necessarily identical. Nadine Dyer (01:40) Yeah, Sue Finkam (02:09) That what you're passionate about you also have to be very talented in or have a, you know, a strength or tendency. You know, I enjoy pushing others to the forefront. I like connecting people. Connecting people makes me happy. And so, You know, some people think maybe I'm a name dropper, but I just like to know, do you know so-and-so? Because I think you would feel this person really helpful in your career. Nadine Dyer (02:34) Yeah. Sue Finkam (02:36) I was doing that with somebody last night. like connected each other with like eight people. So, you know, can't be around someone who's just like me and that guy, we kept talking But finding your strengths and talents and really writing that down and paying attention to that as well, I think is important. Nadine Dyer (02:44) Because you're just connecting with other. Sue Finkam (02:55) I think similarly, what inspires you? Because I think there's some things that we aren't doing or have never done, but that really touch your heart or you find drawn to. And I like inspirational quotes with the best of them. And I found that there are quotes about finding the best in you and overcoming adversity. Those are the ones that I'm drawn to. And I will say I had two or three put on a bulletin board in my office that I would look at every single day during campaign because it was really hard. And they were either a touch point to keep going through the difficulty of a campaign where there's a lot of negativity or they're really what I think the next step is in your path to purpose is like, Nadine Dyer (03:41) Hmm. Sue Finkam (03:50) putting, having the end in mind. Like I just kept seeing myself in this chair. And that was my like, this is what it's gonna be. I'm going to be in this chair. And when I'm there, I'm gonna do this. And when I have this opportunity to serve, I'm gonna do it in this way. And that got me through some of the difficulty and kept me out of my head, right? Where it may be negative in a campaign or just hard if you're tired. And so I think going through a campaign too is like one or going through your career too is Nadine Dyer (04:08) Yeah. Yes. Sue Finkam (04:20) you know, with end in mind is like, want to lead a group of 50 women or 50 people, or I want to have this type of research project, or I want to be a published author, whatever it might be, having that end in mind is helpful to getting there. Nadine Dyer (04:33) Yeah. You know, I'm kind of seeing two different paths and maybe paths is not the right word, but almost like two buckets and that's probably not the right word either, but you'll follow me. The first thing I'm hearing you say is how do you discover your purpose? The second thing I'm hearing you say is how do you drive to your purpose? Yeah, you kind of separated them because it's like discovering your purpose. You talked about, know, your what gives you passion, like pay attention to your energy. Sue Finkam (04:56) I like that scene. Nadine Dyer (05:05) And it made me think, ooh, I should also pay attention to the things that steal my energy. And what are the things I'm definitely not passionate about that I definitely aren't my giftings? Cataloging it, self-discovery, you talked about, inventory, your strengths. Man, I love that. That could be something where you literally can sit with a notebook and just write out some strengths and ask some people. Sue Finkam (05:10) For sure. Nadine Dyer (05:32) inventory your talents, ask what inspires you, what touches your heart, like that's all like the discovery phase. And then I heard the drive phase where it's like, know the end in mind, like keep that picture, figure out things that will motivate you that are meaningful quotes or whatever it might be along the way, because you will get tired and there will be bumps in the road. Is there anything else you would speak into kind of those two buckets, the discovery or the drive? Sue Finkam (06:02) One that I was thinking of the action maybe in both frankly, not to really mess up your two paths, but maybe they come together at a certain point across. And that is, I think your path changes over time, your purpose changes over time. And sometimes it may be a traumatic event that does that. I've been around incredible women who started nonprofits and serve others because of a trauma or something that they've been around that they just think is an injustice. But that wasn't the original purpose. Nadine Dyer (06:09) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sue Finkam (06:30) They wanted to be an accountant or an astronaut or whatever it was. And so sometimes your purpose may change. I've seen women struggle with that, where it's like, I went to college for XYZ, but I'm not using my career. Like, but you're making incredible changes in this world. I think, you know, again, maybe God said, we're going to pivot. And so I don't, I think women are incredibly hard on ourselves sometimes when we maybe take a different you know, path than what we thought might be our path. Nadine Dyer (07:02) Yeah, yeah. I'm hearing you say don't get too attached to a specific thing because maybe your purpose will pivot. I'm glad you called that out because I think that's important. It's not like we have one main purpose in life and that's the only thing we're valuable for. Like our purpose will pivot. We're growing and we're pivoting and that's just being human. But I do have a question for you and I'd be curious how you would speak into this. Let's say you have a purpose and you have a drive. When do you know it's you giving up on it and it is your purpose versus you're actually being redirected and it's not your purpose. I'd be curious what you'd speak into that. Sue Finkam (07:44) That's a great question. I think you have to go back to that. How you feel inside, right? What's lighting your fire and you feel like, Hey, I've pivoted and I'm just as motivated as I was before. Or maybe I didn't have that fire that, um, what's the Bible song? "This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine." Is what I think of, right? If that light's not shining anymore inside, then maybe, either what your, you thought your, what your purpose was before isn't meaningful to you anymore. Um, Nadine Dyer (08:00) Yeah. Sue Finkam (08:11) or you found something that just makes it shine a little brighter. Nadine Dyer (08:15) Yeah, it's almost like we have permission to pivot. Sue Finkam (08:19) Absolutely. And sometimes it's like, do we give our self permission? And sometimes, hey, look, economic circumstances may dictate that if someone loses a spouse and now the money is not there to make a change. Because, know, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I need to have a safe, secure place for my kids and myself. And this is my purpose right now. And so self-actualization at the top of that Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a long ways away. Nadine Dyer (08:27) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sue Finkam (08:47) maybe later on and that you can that shift so that becomes more clear. So yeah, I think other than circumstances, I think we should give ourselves permission to explore and to inventory and to dream and to to honestly just stretch. I always set two sets of goals too in my head and I probably stress myself out a little bit about it. I set a relatively realistic goal and then I set a real stretch goal. Nadine Dyer (09:03) Yeah. Hmm. Sue Finkam (09:17) So every campaign I run, I set what I think I need to win. And then I set what I really want to have. And I've always come just under the stretch, except for the first one, because it was just a new campaign. I didn't know what to do. But that's a metric, right? Because there's no other goal than the number of votes cast. It was very, very, very numeric. I think in other things too, like whether it's been athletic endeavors or whatever, I like to set a couple goals. Nadine Dyer (09:25) the stretch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I feel like I need to highlight that too for women. It's like, don't be afraid to set goals and don't be afraid to set stretch goals that might even be embarrassing to go for because worst case scenario, you're going to shoot higher. Sue Finkam (10:01) Yeah. Yep. Nadine Dyer (10:02) There's something that keeps coming up for me also is that stay at home mom that might be like, I'm just a stay at home mom. it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You are not just a stay at home mom. There's so much purpose there. There is so much impact. There's so much influence. So I just, I never want women to compare purposes. Sue Finkam (10:19) Absolutely. Yeah. Well, isn't it beautiful? Society allows us a choice. And men are hampered by that because society still doesn't always allow them a choice. There's a significant stigma associated with the stay at home dad. Oh, he must not be able to cut it in the workforce. You know, so we have a beautiful opportunity to choose and to change. So I'm going to be a stay at home mom for a couple of years and go back to the work force. Or I'm going to have a second child and stay at home again. Like, it's a beautiful thing. And I think we should celebrate that. And I love Nadine Dyer (10:41) That's such a good point. Sue Finkam (10:55) We just changed our parental leave here. What we put in parental leave here actually, when I say change, we actually implemented it. And I just think it's a beautiful thing that we're starting to allow societally men to stay at home more as well. I think it's cool. Nadine Dyer (11:09) Yeah, yeah, I think choices are powerful and what we choose isn't really anybody else's business, right? If it's blessing God. I mean, that's ultimately. . . I want to just remind some of the listeners out there. I know, you know, if you're like me, you look at Mayor Finkam and you're like, she is a powerhouse. She is a great communicator. She's an influencer. She's a community leader and Sue Finkam (11:16) Exactly. Nadine Dyer (11:39) I'm just X and it's like where you are is part of your purpose. You know, so we really can't compare anybody else's purpose to ours. We just need to step authentically and fully into ours. Sue Finkam (11:54) Absolutely. And thank you for the kind words, by the way. But I still think the same thing about I'm just a small town mayor, right? Or I'm just one person in this world. I think we all are our worst enemies there sometimes about not giving ourselves the credit where credit is due, when we do things right. And then just because we want to get better at something doesn't mean it's a negative, right? Learning opportunity we should grasp with both hands. And if we have the resources to chase it, then go get it. Nadine Dyer (12:22) That's good. Okay, so I want to ask some questions. I want to kind of like pivot into things, right? So what's coming up for me now is what are some distractions from our purpose? Sue Finkam (12:33) Again, we talked about one, right? Just things you can't control. You know, that things are put in your path that may change your purpose or may slow down, you know, your consideration of your purpose or your path. I think, know, I can, like, volatile, The volatile and uncertain world that we live in is a distraction. You know, whether it be political changes, weather changes, you know, the economy, inflation, those are all distractions that all of us have to deal with. And if you're really searching, for instance, to what your purpose is, and you may be going to a couple nonprofits or something and trying to figure out if the nonprofit world is for you. Nadine Dyer (12:55) Yeah. Sue Finkam (13:18) You may encounter a person who is a distraction who doesn't help maybe you, launch you, you like you want to be launched. I think we have to always take that, keep that in mind as well. That some, some people are putting the path to help you and some people are put in the path to challenge you and recognize that as well. Nadine Dyer (13:23) Hmm. That's, wow, that's a really good point. So things we can't control, certain people that might not be supporters or helpers or maybe distractors, anything else that you would say might be distractions to our purpose. I'm thinking like busyness in the wrong ways sometimes. And we talked about that on the last episode. Like I'm too busy to even think about my purpose versus. Sue Finkam (13:56) Sure. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you're recalling that. I think that's an excellent point that you brought up on the last episode because sometimes you're just so busy in a hamster wheel. We don't really know what we're doing. And in today's world, certainly families are challenged more than ever, know, between travel sports and, you know, Bible study and all the things, school. Nadine Dyer (14:10) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sue Finkam (14:26) I always curse the teachers who, when you get a list of school supplies and then the first day of school, you get another list of school supplies, you know, like those kind of things. But then also in the professional world, as budgets get tighter and tighter with companies and people get less and less and those responsibilities don't go away, they just get shifted onto a new role. And so I think we, where technology has helped us do more, it's also helped us be more frantic in a lot of things that we do. You know, we're now, many of us are still tethered. Nadine Dyer (14:34) Yeah. Yeah. Sue Finkam (14:56) 24 hours a day to an electronic device and that's stressful. It's distracting. So, and again, I think we'll just call out the internet and social media as a distraction as well because I have a friend who probably spends four hours a day just watching reels. What a waste of time. But it's so easy to fall into something like that. Nadine Dyer (15:08) Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and some of those are inspiring, right? So it's like there's a balancing act there. So I can't judge it fully, but at the same time, sometimes it sucks. like, what just happened to my time? Sue Finkam (15:27) Yeah, but all podcasts are good, maybe. Let's just... Yeah. Nadine Dyer (15:30) All podcasts are awesome, especially this one. You know, I was also thinking the comparison game. I think that's a distraction from purpose. And that kind of goes back to that social media. Sometimes you look at everybody's outside and you're comparing your insides to their outsides and you're like, well, I can't do X like this person. So I can't think of anything else. Maybe not taking time to explore it. Maybe like. Sue Finkam (15:57) I think it goes back to the busyness too. Nadine Dyer (15:58) Yeah, like forgetting you have one, like almost like, yeah, my purpose doesn't matter. Like minimizing your purpose. Sue Finkam (16:07) Yeah, I think that's probably, I think that's a family dynamic, I think, too. Not just for women, for men and women, right? I have to do this and this is just what we do. We run around like crazy getting kids places and getting to work and helping take care of a sick parent and helping, you know all the things. And it goes back to that permission, too. You sometimes don't get the permission to say, this is madness. This isn't strategic. This is tactical. Nadine Dyer (16:13) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sue Finkam (16:35) and how can I be purposeful in what I'm doing with my time. Nadine Dyer (16:39) Yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna, I want to pivot us now. So I'm gonna, I want to just go, why does purpose matter? Why, like, what would we say to a woman who's like, yeah, what I mean, I'm too busy or I just, it's just not the right, like, why does, why does them, why does it matter for them to discover and step into purpose? Sue Finkam (16:59) I can only answer that for me. And I think that the closer I am to functioning where I think I'm supposed to be, how I'm supposed to serve, the happier I am. And so it's more of a natural state. If I'm doing something that's not close to my purpose, then it feels unnatural. And I feel like I'm striving, I'm searching, something's missing. But if I'm closer to what I think my purpose is, it just feels like it fits. Nadine Dyer (17:00) Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Sue Finkam (17:28) And so I'm happier and without even, I mean, I expend a lot of energy on my position, but without having to expend energy to find the next thing to do, right? It's just the fit, it's just natural, it's authentic. Yes, that's a great word. Great word. Nadine Dyer (17:38) Yeah. It's like a contentment. Yeah. Yeah. An authenticity, a joy, a contentment. And I also want to just say everybody has a purpose that only they can fill in this world. Don't hide your purpose because somebody in this world needs it. Sue Finkam (18:04) You know, I think there's, you know, for people that are close to us, I think sometimes they see it more than we see it too. you know, I've had people since I was elected mayor say, girl, I always knew you were gonna be mayor. Well, I didn't know I was, you know, I didn't know that until I ran and won, you know? and so I think perhaps we can sometimes tap into our close network and say, Nadine Dyer (18:11) Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Sue Finkam (18:30) I don't know what my purpose is. You know me, you've been around me, you see me shine, you see me fall. What do think my purpose is? Or where do you think I should look at or explore? What are ideas? I I think for me too, when I said out loud, I want to run for mayor, it was very freeing. And then I could talk and dream out loud and then I got energy from it. And so I think we keep a lot of dreams and thoughts bottled up. Nadine Dyer (18:35) Yeah. Hmm. Sue Finkam (18:59) for fear of being ridiculed or told you're not good enough or, you know, being disappointed by someone who's close to you. And I think we can start without sharing maybe what we're thinking, but at least asking what other people think of our strengths and talents that we talked about earlier and purpose and passion. And that will help us get closer to where we think we might want to be. Nadine Dyer (19:23) That's good. That's great. What's interesting is, so before we got on and we were going to talk about purpose, the last couple of days, I keep envisioning these airplanes and they're like, they're airplanes and they're like going around the, what do you call it? Sue Finkam (19:43) A landing strip. Nadine Dyer (19:44) The strip, yep. They're just going round and round and round and round in circles, right? And they don't even realize they have wings. Like they don't even realize they can fly. And they're just like, chugging along, I got wheels. I'm just like, and they're just like riding along, but they have so much more that they can do. They haven't even tried anything else. And it's just funny that it like comes full circle now of like ladies, don't be that airplane that just like roaming around when you have wings to fly. and you're being called to something bigger, you know? Sue Finkam (20:15) One of the things that disappoints me most is missed opportunity. I mean, you see it in others. You're like, oh, that person had an opportunity or missed potential might be a better way to say it. They had an opportunity and they just didn't either give it their all or believe they could do it or have the resources or whatever. Like, oh, that potential is not fulfilled. And I just hate to see that. You know, I just feel like, oh, someone got up to bat and didn't take it or couldn't take it or whatever. Nadine Dyer (20:18) Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What a great, great episode. Again, thank you so much for your wisdom, your insight, this discussion. Is there anything that you'd want to wrap up this episode for us on practical applications and purpose? Sue Finkam (20:58) I just want to thank you because you've built an incredible community and that is your purpose and you've built an incredible community that everything every time around you as a person or any of the events that you're part of I'm inspired and I just want to thank you for that and recognize you. Nadine Dyer (21:12) Thank you. God is so, so good. And ladies, you have a purpose only you can fill. We want you on purpose and we believe in you. We believe in you. We believe in you. We believe in you. We believe in you. We love you. Step into your calling. Explore. Discover and go for it. We are here to support you every step of the way. Thank you again for your time, Sue. This was so encouraging and inspiring. And we'll catch you next time, sisters. Bye. Sue Finkam (21:38) Thank you.