The Mason and Friends Show — Episode 1065
Transcript

Ladies and gentlemen,
for the 1,065th
time, it is
featuring that lady called Juba,
aka miss Lisa, aka.
Mr. Costa lots girlfriend,
as well as
that dude called his junior Saca sir.
Get yourself a drink in their big dog.
What's up?
Welcome.
My name is Mason.
Welcome to the Mason and friends show.
It's been a minute since I've been on here.
Hell, yeah.
Lisa, it's good to see you.
It's good to be back.
We missed you here at the Mason French Show.
I missed you all.
Have you been?
I guess you're just busy with children in school and such. Yes.
Yeah. And work?
A lot of work.
They're keeping you busy?
Yeah.
Knocking out things like homecoming for the kids and,
Yeah, well, we saw that, Junior
ju was out there dating some young lady to the homecoming. Yup.
And he brought his bestie, his
his brother from another mother.
His boy came, and that was delightful
to see a friend group at a high school just lovingly accept and take pictures.
And it's from some dude. Yeah.
And it was pretty funny because all these kids are like
part of this school program, the school club called Deca,
and they all did the the deck of hand symbol.
And Seth got in there doing the, the
the boy got in there and doing the deck of hand symbol as well.
I thought that was a
that's DDP.
Their. School, that's DDP.
Well yeah but
it's DDP bitch.
It's also the.
That's what he thought he was doing.
But it was definitely a symbol that they.
Oh no that's d feel.
Nothing about that.
Yeah. You got to get with it children.
You can't be stealing DP's mojo.
You know that dude broke his back or whatever and, like,
wrestled the whole bunch and he's like, has some yoga practice that he promotes
and gets, like, crippled people to walk again.
He's like, quite a bad motherfucker.
Shout out DDP!
That's Diamond Dallas Page.
For those that don't know, bang!
Hit him.
With something some kids know about.
That they don't know they missed out on all that Attitude ERA and Monday Night
War professional wrestling shit that was oh so interesting
to us in our age bracket.
At least a lot of the guys knew about it.
I don't know about you, Lisa. You might not have been.
No, I did.
I had a brother that was obsessed with.
So you you heard all about it.
You've been stunned. Yeah, yeah.
That's how it went, man.
We was all hitting professional wrestling moves on each other,
trying not to hurt each other. Back in the day. We watched the Mr.
T documentary that's out on Netflix right now.
You and Mike both.
Oh, did Mike watch it? Mike. Watch it. Yeah.
He thought it should have been longer. I thought so too.
It was so short.
Well, I did good the other day.
Saturday.
Yesterday?
Yeah, yesterday. Okay.
I was coming home, and, you know,
some fucking douchebag felt he needed exercise on 29.
So he was riding his bike. Some old fucker.
It's always the cyclists this time of year.
Like, way out there in Madison.
Like Ryan Madison on 29. Right on 29.
Just fucking.
What, 29? Just ride north. Yeah.
Just coming.
No. Coming back this way. So, yeah, I guess north.
So he was riding north on 29, which is two lane highway.
I mean, he was.
Luckily he was in the
he was on the other side of the white, but still he still got to go around him.
He was where you would have to pull off, say, if you had an issue that you needed
to pull over for.
Me being me, I'm in the left lane, right?
I honk at the motherfucker, right.
Because you ain't got no business
being on this motherfucking road, you fucking ass clown.
Right?
So but he wants to be cool because he got the right way and flicked me off.
I don't even think he does have the right of way to ride on that road.
Well, whatever.
So my next option was two options.
Fake pulled over, throw my hazards on, pull over right throw.
Sticking his fucking pegs when he's riding by and then go about my day.
Sounds like a blast.
That is an option.
Or just.
Keep. It moving and not let him not let it fuck with it.
So? So the ju turns around.
No, I picked option two, I kept outlet. I let it go.
I laughed at him. Yeah, well, you were good. Though I left.
I laughed because I've been drinking.
That's the whole point of this thing. Yeah. Had you been fully sober?
Yeah, I've. Been sober. I had a conversation. With him. What's up?
Jack?
I've been like, you see this as a fucking highway, right as clown.
Or I might have got behind him and called the police and been like,
this guy's impeding the flow of traffic.
I can't get around him.
Why is this old Charles riding on the fucking highway?
Could we get a police officer out here?
He's being eradicated.
He's being erratic towards other drivers.
He's belligerent. Yeah, I think he's cussing to people.
Like when he get over here.
I don't have my dad's calm working, but I show you all the footage.
But either way, I don't feel safe.
And they're just right behind him for him on air.
Yeah, neither my hasn't on just ride.
You know what I mean? Just being that guy. Add to the danger.
It just started freaking out when the police coming with two hands on the wheel.
And help ratchet.
Could get.
Around him, help ratchet the dangerous get around him.
That's what. That's what you are when they see you.
You're that dude.
That's the problem. Accelerated the aggressor.
Yes. Yeah, you should be considered that.
But I want you if you shake.
Yeah, correctly. Tough.
You show on that. I'm really scared.
I could have passed
dangerous thing ever.
They're so dangerous.
Find a little rock. Put a rock on the dash.
Like, good thing I have a rock right here.
Yeah, this is my own little rock.
Jesus. I can't camp with me.
Jesus asked to take the wheel.
I hold it when I get up and say, oh, my gosh
darn if I don't know what he's out of here for twice on Sunday.
Both sermons is unacceptable.
I'll tell you what.
Y'all need to do something about this.
He's on 29.
He going to die a big time when he gets hit.
And I go, come through that boy.
That's what happens on there in that road.
Is dangerous. I had another.
I had another incident. Oh, man. That you with all kind of.
Shout out to the police officers to actually do their job.
Hell yeah.
And shout out to the ones that don't fuck you.
All right. Fuck you.
If you want to drive, let's motherfucking drive and write the thing about you.
The thing about me is I see you a police before you see me going 90, right?
So I better known you the motherfucking cops, right, dickhead.
So if you were in the left lane and you want to pull off,
gets a 75 mile an hour on a 29 way out there in Culpeper.
I'm a ride right with you. I've been right.
But don't be that guy to slam on your motherfucking brakes
and then pull over and then get the other lane real quick.
I'm just going to ride right by you like a fool. No.
You know what I did?
I cracked my windows just enough
so you could kind of look in there, but I couldn't see my seatbelt it up.
Yeah, you got 30, but not. He can still see.
But I put my window up just enough to eagle look in there.
You know me, but not enough to. He can see nothing.
See it? Look, I read right beside that motherfucker.
He want. You want to have your breaks? I'm gonna have my break to bro.
I don't give a fuck.
Now, you want some traffic because you're a fucking cockeyed bitch.
Fuck off, dude.
And don't be mad at my sedan because I can accelerate the same speed
as y'all motherfuckers.
All right?
Don't be mad at the Avalon because the Avalon be groovin.
The left lane is for passing, not fucking cruising.
Felicia. Father or not, bitch.
That's all I got to say about that.
I've been doing this, but luckily that was on it from like.
Remington,
28 to 28 to.
Freemans.
So you've been having a real.
Active time out on 29.
This is. Yeah. This is. Yeah.
Of course. Always.
It's the damn, damn this thing.
Now you got to ride 29 as much as you do.
It's better at 66. It is better than that.
I'll give you that.
I mean, I'll still take it, you know?
I mean, I'm not trying to be crazy.
I'm trying to go about 70.
You know, I was thinking about it.
Today is some douchebag riding up on my ass and then falling way
back, and I just wanted to, like, be a menace to society and run up on him.
But I think it's motherfucker.
That's what.
I mean. You know, like, either ride my ass or don't.
I'll get up. I'll get over. I'll give him a chance.
You know what? 65 and a 55.
You wanna ride my ass and they want to fuck off.
And he went to catch up.
And my problem is, in the morning,
I got a lot of fucking stragglers that try to, like, hang.
People that. Try to, like people, try to ride.
They try.
They think I'm racing, but I'm just driving. No.
They think that you're the one that's going to get the ticket.
Oh yeah. That too. Either way, behind you. That's what it is.
So they're just they're like, they will stay close,
but then they'll try to shoot around me and fuck up my gap.
You know what I mean?
Like they were driving. You got to look.
You got to be looking five, six cars way like some matrix shit, you know?
I mean, you guys see every one of your move.
If you want every one of them fucking cards.
You got to. Be playing at least a half a mile.
You gotta know if that fucking Honda looks like that
dumbass is going to get over because the motherfucker looked like
they old, even though they half a mile up the road, it looked like an old bitch
driving that motherfucker.
So I got to know to be a basis possibly in that you got.
Got to get the I to be like, I got to get around this one.
And I got to get around this one quick because like, I'll do it on 66.
Sometimes they have coming out 66 on the way home.
And I went around like two different people
that were like bullshitting in the left lane in the middle lane. Yeah.
And then they were like in the middle and the left.
And there was another bullshitter in the right lane, and I was out in front of them
and they fucking jammed up everything, everything, everything.
I mean, I had like a mile on them before anybody got past them and started
breaking it up, but like, they jammed and I was literally the last one around them.
I was like, oh no, no, no, I gotta get around this guy. ZIP, zip.
If I get on 211.
Before you get. Up to 229.
Knots, that is the worst stretch.
When you coming down the hill and coming down the hill.
That's what everybody's trying to drive. And then.
No, nobody knows how to get nobody the whole way.
Pretty fucked from.
War 2 to 2.
29 more idiots
got to ride in the left hand lane because they're turning left in 12.
Fucking mine at the end. You sons a. Fucking bitch!
Get the fuck out of the left!
Turn that crossing the fucking bridge.
I'm turning the upturn at the light 7.5 miles away.
Yeah, I gotta be in this lane.
And it's only got like, a mile of space for me to get turned into it.
I'm going 63 already in a 55.
What do you want from me?
What's your problem?
Once you get out of the way, Debbie, I just pulled up to this other person,
going 63 to 55 in both lanes and just started cruising it.
That falling behind?
No intention of passing somebody.
Abby, I pulled that front of Debbie
one time and slowed down and let like 14 people pass on the right hand
lane, and Debbie still wouldn't get out of the fucking left hand lane.
She was going 40 at that point. That's how.
That's how.
It big.
Love times.
I'll just throw my hands up.
I'll head out the window and I'll be like.
Yeah. I've seen that.
I've seen.
Thumbs. Up, thumbs down, thumbs up. And if my. Fucking gets over.
Then I'll give them a thumbs up.
If I want the LED, like, middle finger, like thumbs up,
like option thing that I can have in my front and rear windshield
because it's like, come on bro.
It's like I want to just a button bank that I can press next to me.
Like one thing to see, like.
One dude fucking zooming.
But to see a row of like eight.
Motherfuckers getting down. The road and you're jackass.
Still, Debbie just going to keep riding in the same fucking lane
like you ain't in the goddamn way.
Like, get your motherfucking life together.
Like we ain't building a rocket out here.
Like it's not that. It ain't brain surgery.
Just move the fuck over.
Get out the motherfucking way. You ain't getting up the road enough.
You didn't want to be here.
Why? You, like, just go on, slow down and get over and let us go.
That's not a decide if you want to actually go 65
to get around this fucking car front of you.
This is not.
I'm going 70 to get around this goddamn car in front of me. Lane.
Yeah, yeah. And that's what people create to create problems.
They want to drive slow.
They create more problems driving slow than they do going fast. Yeah.
You know, I've seen it
because nobody gets pulled over for fucking impeding flow of traffic.
Well, you know, that's right. If I was a cop and I,
if I saw you
coming out of mountain with 17 cars behind you all stacked up.
All right, I'll pull the front person over.
What's the deal here?
You got the way 15 cars behind you stacked up.
But the cost you that on 95.
The staples, dude on 95.
They'll fucking troll you.
Oh, I would love to be that kind of cop to a degree, but,
like, really, if I ever had to be a cop, I want to be a fucking detective.
Want to be a murder police?
Yeah. Me too.
I know what I'm saying. Like I want to be McNulty in the wire.
Yeah, just doing the damn thing.
Going out, drinking at night, riding around a cop car,
drunken Baltimore with a gun.
So we had girls weekend.
This is speaking of guns.
Oh, hell yeah. Junior girls go shoot. Bang, bang.
No, no, but there was definitely a conversation on Friday night
about how 2 or 3 of them were packing.
Hell, yeah.
That for protection purposes, they had brought their guns.
To the event.
Two our girls weekend.
Yeah, the cabin in the woods.
One of them,
because I seen one of them had the blade in the pocket.
I said, all right. Yeah. You real country girl.
Actually, she the one with the blade in her pocket.
Did not bring her gun. Has a gun.
She didn't bring it, though, but she had a blade.
She told us that.
She wrote in her pocket.
Somebody else, you know, like.
Yeah, like this lady knife.
No, it was blade. It was a razor knife.
It was a it was the blade.
All saw was a clip.
Fully accessible front pocket type shit like I got.
This is my blade.
That's the same girl that thought that the weeds
were obstructing her view outside of our room window.
And she went into her van and got some hedge clippers.
She had clippers in her van to trim the hedge.
And she I mean, by the time she looked like it was in,
she had removed an entire weed bush, like a whole tree.
It was like a goddamn tree.
On the ground.
For the amount of branches and body of this giant.
It's called like a pokey weed. Or so she trimmed. Up the.
Trimmed up the pokey weed at the event.
Yeah, she removed like the whole did, all the landscape and pretty much
in that in front of that window so that she could have a nice.
So she was drinking and she decided she didn't like her views.
So she busted out her clippers and made herself.
A better drinking early. She was.
I'm sure I know that friend group.
She did.
I'm like I'm glad you were awake right now and hydrated enough
to participate in the conversation.
Merely barely.
If I had, I ended up leaving at like 1130 last night to come here.
If I had stayed, I would have just it would have.
Yeah.
I would have been much experiencing much regret today, more so than I already was.
I was tired as hell.
Maybe asleep. I understand. I slept all day.
Yeah, I worked.
On a my Acura yesterday and I slept a lot of today.
Like I wore myself out, but I got some good work done on it. So.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah, there was quite a a mix of characters
at this girl's trip.
One of the young ladies was the girlfriend of a brother
of a of a normal person that goes to this, like, girls trip every year.
Her brother's girlfriend.
She decided y'all to, move to
from Texas
after reconnecting with the brother.
She was a marine with them back in the day,
and she packed her whole life up after like
two visits with the man and been living with them since, I guess.
Moved in with some dude.
Yeah. That she she knew him.
They were Marines together.
They kicked it in the Marines 26 years ago.
Oh, cool. That's different. And then.
That's a little bit different.
26. Years. Was a long time, though.
It's a long time. It's impressive though.
It's impressive.
I mean, I was like good job balls on you.
Like excellent job.
I don't know if I would have had the guts to move that far away
after two meetings with the person that I shagged, like once in the military.
So 26 years ago.
Yeah, that sounds to me like.
I mean, did she admit to shagging him 26 years ago?
Yeah. Okay.
All right.
That makes it a little more acceptable to.
It's still very, I don't know.
You know.
I like it. I think it's a great love story.
Like. Yeah, bitch. Go, go.
Just because I don't know very many women that can just, like,
pack up and go and follow a man somewhere.
It's almost like an antiquated practice in my brain.
I'm like, I don't know very many women that just throw caution to the wind
like that.
Well, it's because nobody really cares about romance.
Not so many people. Give a shit about that these days.
I just think people are so usually invested.
I mean, by the time this chick was like 47.
Well, a lot of us have given up on
that as like a major event thing that's going to happen.
So everything else is more important.
So like if some chick like if Emma Watson, if it was Emma Watson wants me to move
to like Oxford fucking with her like.
Come with me.
I'd be like, oh okay. All right.
Let me pack up and go. I'm leaving.
Like I'd just drop everything.
Oh, you got enough money to buy me what I need?
When we get there, let's get a grow up going and I'm on with it.
Let's go. You know I. Like it, I like it.
I mean, other than that, like, these are very unlikely events to occur,
you know, like, everybody wants their little, like,
you know,
lifetime movie moment where you fall in love with some chick
and everything works out, but, like, it all ends up like a lifetime movie
where you actually, like,
the bitch, chops you up in little pieces and put you in a dumpster.
For a lifetime movie.
So we could have had a lifetime movie moment.
Oh, yeah.
The the Jew was the only, male, the only boyfriend, significant
other of somebody that, got to visit and go fishing
and hang out for, like, an extended period of time on girls weekend.
So you were you were hanging with the girls on girls weekend.
He, the man saw that they were ponds.
So you dropped her off and were like, I can bring him
my face and I'll be out there in the water.
He followed me up there the first night, Friday to make sure that I got there.
Okay.
And that's a good man right there.
Yeah. To me. Yeah. And it. Wasn't.
A motive.
Well, he makes sure his lady gets out into the middle of nowhere comfortably.
Exactly. But he also gets to scout for water.
Yeah.
I mean, there was like, a whole last video to watch on how to get to the cabin.
One way.
Not that difficult.
It really was not difficult at all.
The video made it seem like we were about
to go to Mordor, like the, you know, we like.
Yeah, like it was Lord of the rings style.
Like, you know.
LV read.
The video was crazy.
They had to be driving like a mile an hour
because like, the video was like two minutes.
On the house in like two seconds.
And that fucking video,
there were two videos that were probably like 4.5 minutes and it was like.
But this is from like an Airbnb
group or something that's used to people not being able to find the property so.
Well.
One of the girls, that helped us, you know, pick this location,
she works there, she does the books for about 20 different cottages
that are all located on Grays Mountain.
And there's like lakes and ponds and streams.
It's fucking.
It was mischievous.
Though, because they own so much area like the GPS had me going past the joint.
But I remember seeing the video that they shot when you
when the entrance they pulled in, had a bunch of flags and a fence and shit.
Well, my GPS had me going up to the next right. So
acres or some bullshit like that.
This whole fucking facility, right?
Apparently one there was another.
The reason they were stressing it was because one day
dos for Bowden and her fam was all meeting there,
and biggie was supposed to meet up with his kids
and there's no phone service out there, so you cannot dial anyone out.
You can't receive a call.
You are literally cut off from the world and you can get on Wi-Fi
once you find your location and can get in the house Wi-Fi.
But prior to that, you're fucked. I love. It so.
Grid baby.
Biggie never found where everybody else was.
Spent six hours on the mountain with just him and his boy.
Which makes sense. If he followed GPS
and they had him going to that other turn.
Like I. Said. You're on a whole different mountain.
Possibly on the other side of the mountain.
You know what I mean? I had reason to be paranoid.
I got
you either on the gravel side.
Of the road to the mountain, or you're on the fucking
the road side of the mountain.
And now it's all in the same mountain.
Now the whole thing all. The way to the. Of. The. Road, I'm sure.
Oh it's insane.
It's like a lot of cobblestone, a lot.
My car looked like it was.
A biggie.
Wouldn't it be nice to be here to defend yourself?
Haha.
It wasn't, but it wasn't. That bad, like.
I said.
But the GPS.
Had me like,
I just remember because of that video that I needed to turn right there.
Yeah, we found it.
No problem.
But enough to make a call over the GPS.
Yeah, let AI not talk you into taking the long route.
Yeah, and some of them. Yeah.
Or you might not even have. Found it. I don't know if.
I don't know if you would have been able to find it
if you if it would have went up farther because I'm driving like.
Oh, that.
One lane on.
Gravel road through mountains and shit to get.
To the other side of it.
It's not even gravel.
It's like gravel.
Plus it'd be like me coming up 50 if you go to your old crib, you know what I mean?
Giant called this fucking.
Yeah, there. Was a Bronco.
Not a car.
Yeah, not car terrain.
Four wheel drive. Was a badass, too.
I met so many badass bitches this weekend, I really did.
We talked about everything, and we kind of went when dos
and I started talking about the podcast and shit,
we were saying to the ladies, like this kind of the kind of conversations
we have on the show as well, like women talking about, well, we had to explain, a
like but plug the purpose of a butt plug to one of the young.
Ladies conversations. That was reckless.
Yeah.
Yeah, he got to come back on Saturday and go with us fishing.
Some of the girls had bought poles and wanted to go fishing, so.
Andrew sweetie tolerated it like hell. Yeah.
You taught a group of ladies how to fish. At one point.
They all knew that fish.
He gave up his good rod to one of the bitches
who kept getting her shit tangled, though.
It was really sweet.
And I'm just sitting there doing my thing because fishing to me
is laying on a blanket, being pretty, and, that's.
Yeah, that's my my old fishing.
If I take over one of the poles, that's one less thing to keep him busy
on his fishing day.
And he needs.
Like, he's like a dog with a ball.
When he's fishing, he's like a dog with a walk.
And you need to let him get a certain amount of time. And.
And if he's got seven poles, he gets more time.
And then if he's got three points, we're more made him to maximize his time
spent while he's out.
There, likely going to get relaxation time and extended
fishing time if there are more poles that he's tending to,
if he's only got 1 or 2 and I've got one of those or whatever,
we're only going to be out for 45 minutes before the man is like, I'm done.
I'm this is underwhelming as fuck, like, let's get out of here.
Ain't hitting, main hitting.
But anyways, so the young.
Age spot for the day. Young ladies.
Were staying a cold part of the pool.
Move over there was more
or yeah.
We're all sitting there.
Why? It's warm in the warm part of the pool.
Yeah. Some of us are laying on the blanket.
Some of the bitches were fishing.
It was real cute.
Everyone was having a picture of the time they leave to go back to the house
and they're all, like, giggling, and they're like,
you should fuck your man while you're out here, girl.
This is the perfect little man.
It's the perfect grassy knoll. It's not.
There were people.
Walking around the lake off of a walking trail.
Yeah, it was right in the.
Middle, like to get you arrested.
I was giggling, but they were disappointed
when we returned and realized that we were not. We had not.
There was no fucking on the grassy knoll. That's do.
They were sad about it.
You're going to end up with grass burns and itchy spot
or and or a charge, I know, and a charge for a charge.
But like a lot of the weekend did center around very sex.
Sexy, sexy talk.
Of course.
Lots of, like, dick and pussy talk.
Yes, yes.
And, it did get brought up.
Dos forbidden.
Did tell everyone about how you. I called you.
I called her during an episode because you said
that tall girls have bigger pussies.
No, no, no, not tall girls.
I said that small girls have a higher percentage likelihood of having.
Would you say vagina.
Brought it back? We know what you said. I have no idea.
You said you don't understand plain English, then. Oh.
My God, your point was made, my friend.
Well, I made my. Point was.
Bigger than girl.
The bigger the potential, the vagina.
That's exactly right.
The less likely you are to find a tiny snack.
There was another Lisa there at this event.
Her name was Lisa.
Yes, and dos started calling her.
She's a tall bitch.
She's a big girl. Like, not big babe.
Got a beautiful body.
Honestly.
Fucking J.Lo body on steroids.
Y'all like they don't like.
But booty.
Wouldn't go for a tall girl because of the theory.
Theory calling her big Lisa and me
Lily like, oh, Lolita, I'm.
Where's big Lisa?
Talk to girls like that.
Like, I was literally thinking about that today,
because a lot of the times I introduced to Shelby, like big Mike.
And if sometimes we'd be like, Big Jew and I'm Big Mason,
like, we've done that before, but like, you can't do that, like if you.
Two of the same name.
Right?
But if you were here, I wouldn't be like
and Big Lisa, I'd be like, little Lisa or I'd be like, whatever other Lisa.
Or nothing. Exactly.
I'd be. Like, cute or not. At all.
What was that term we had for you?
Little something tiny for JJ, Lisa or something like that, remember?
Oh my God, something like that.
Yes, it was like it, Johnny.
Anything like
shit.
But yes, I.
Loved that moment.
That moment was good, but.
Probably the same episode.
I probably was like two of the girls
got offended on behalf of Big Lisa.
They were like, putting like,
dos in her or telling her, you can't say that, bitch like you.
Can't listen.
So then the second two, not even a minute later,
this chick walks out onto the patio, the porch that we're all at,
and Sarah's like, Lisa, Lisa,
you know, you're big, right?
Like you big Lisa that Lisa, like, she basically got the bitch to buy in
because that chick was so fucking cool and so, like, confident that you could.
She knew she was a tall.
I am an queen.
Like, she was not about to get offended by that.
She just looked at Sarah and I was like, I don't fucking care.
Like so above it. It was good.
It was beautiful.
I know, because there are that would have gotten mad.
I got chewed out because I said that some girls shoes looked like Dallas
Cowboy shoes, because they had big Ole shiny stars.
And this girl went off on me about how they are black and not navy.
And I am an idiot.
She's like a true Texan that,
very like, spoke of the Dallas Cowboys frequently.
And I was like.
Oh yeah, there was.
Like, I saw the I saw the stars on her slippers.
And I was like, tell me you're a Cowboys fan.
Without telling me your Cowboys fan, I was making, like,
a little joke to bring it back home
because all she been fucking talking about was being a Cowboys fan.
So like the rest of Virginia imposters that were Cowboys fans.
Yeah. She got mad. Yeah, she got mad.
She was like, these aren't fucking cowboys.
You don't even know cowboys colors.
I'm like, oh, here we go.
These bitches were so drunk she brought 60 jello shots.
We had one remaining the next day
I had a nine girls.
Sounds about right. We were wasted.
We did not go to bed Friday until 4 a.m.
at least. It was insane.
It was insane.
One chick just danced in the corner by herself for like, an hour and a half.
That was beautiful to watch.
Same same girl with the blade.
She went all of this stuff.
Like some of this stuff.
I don't know, it's suspect.
You say that it sounds beautiful and I'm like. Or that it looks.
It was beautiful to watch.
And I'm like, these bitches are crazy, right?
Right.
Like, there's a part of me that's like, okay,
so you say there's a bitch in the corner
dancing by yourself for an hour and a half. You've got nine.
That's loud.
As dominant as fuck for Gina's running around in the house
cooking, slinging drinks. Survive.
The 512 bed was great.
You would have.
Nothing crazy females.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm a big Lisa dude. Probably.
Probably big.
Lisa was on the phone with her ex baby daddy some of the time, though.
And then the bitches all started talking about
how hot X baby daddy was because she's going around and introducing him.
Told his bitches.
Oh my god.
Texas Dallas cowgirl was like, oh my God.
He's like hot. He's like fell in hot.
And then there was a whole discussion about what makes a man fell in hot or not.
Felon like. Felon like he.
Yeah. Like he commits a crime. Yeah. Like convict.
Like the. Jew like.
The Jew felon.
All agree he's felon hot.
He's feeling hot. He's
still like he was like you would.
Have you seen the videos of these guys?
They go and they bail out baddies.
They call it bailing out baddies. And they.
They look at the online
profile of the system that shows everybody that's locked up and what their bailout.
Save a hoe on steroids.
And they go and they bail out some super hot, they think that she's hot.
And then they stand by the door and they walk out and
and they're like, hey, are you or whatever?
And like, and they're like, yeah.
And they're like, I just bailed you out.
If I ever get arrested,
this is the world's Q put me on that shit, because.
That's how.
You get bailed out. On there.
Like if you're locked up.
That's what I'm saying.
If I ever get locked up, somebody posts my shit on there
and see if I got any takers. I don't have to be on money.
Well, like, what are they doing? Any just leave or they when.
They try to nail.
Trying to drill or somebody or whatever, they're like, hey, let's have dinner
now that you're out and shit what.
They do and they just say no, then they just drop off the bitch right there.
It's just content farming.
It is.
Like it's a tactic, I guess, to get tech.
Or is it just some.
Things that would mail out hot felon dudes for that?
But that's what I'm saying.
But there is a there is of hotness
that's reserved for fucking people that look like they're on the way to jail.
Already in jail. It's a mug shot.
They just look like bad boys and bad girls.
You know, just because of the ability to.
Maybe we could just slip off into the corner
and I could never see this person again.
No, I think it's more like
I'm intrigued because you're a badass.
Like, there's a level of, like, hot badass, like,
you know, and I'm going to do something nice.
And maybe because they're on the UN seedy side of the world, they're just gonna be
cool as fucking, like, be appreciated that I bailed them out.
And the captain save ladies.
That's what I'm saying. It's like Captain Savage on steroids.
Like, I can I can save this. Dick from.
The tactics from their life of crime.
Motivations vary.
I'm sure.
You're like, you're going to end up
like Bonnie and Connie and not a Bonnie and Clyde or something.
You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I'm. Sure. That there's, like.
Varying reasons why dudes do that.
No, no, no.
Y'all think all the girls.
Because we just want to fuck them. You want to fuck them, but.
Maybe save.
Them, but then you want to save them. You're like, oh, that was good.
Let me try to save this guy.
Now and then you waste all your time and you end up being Bonnie and Clyde.
There is.
And then the next thing you know, you're done shot a cop and you're like, oh, shit,
my life's ruined because of this hot felony.
Yeah, in most women's lives do get ruined by hot felons, like.
Right?
I'm just saying, if you have not gone down that course in life, ladies,
it's overrated.
It is.
Just get you a man that's not a felon, but hot enough to be a felon.
Date them. It's a line.
You're looking for the line. Date them?
Yeah. The line of hot fellas. That's him.
He is right on the cusp of getting arrested at any moment.
Dude, you know what I. Know he's doing is driving.
He's just driving. Oh, God.
But there's a bolt. It's not even driving.
There's other things. Let's not.
The details of all this bullshit.
The man's just trying to walk or talk or drive.
Yeah, I'm just kidding. He's just.
It's always just trying to. Like it.
Always driving.
He's just trying to live, I understand.
Yeah, yeah.
They're going to get arrested by the warden or the office.
The speed. Cops. Are the Warrenton.
The wardens love me, man.
The wardens don't. Love you.
I don't get any fucking break any fucking thing.
You know, they obviously know whenever they if they.
When they run up on me.
I'm always legit, you know?
I mean, the only time I was legit was when I, when I took the boat out,
and I didn't, like, actually paint the registration
numbers on the side of my boat as well as with the ticket.
Like, apparently they have to be, have to be displayed to be displayed.
Yeah, like a whatever number. I, I didn't know about that.
I think this little thing on the little fucking farm pond bullshit.
I don't know about that, you know, but the game warden love these
lakes up here, and.
It's not going to be affected by you.
Just like.
Is there. Actively pop up? It's because they're actively public.
They allow people. It's fine.
I mean, contacted by the crazy neighbor you were barking at
or like like the event leading it.
That's not the game one. That's the police game.
We're not coming out there. That's different.
But I think they both qualify as law enforcement agents. They are.
But I mean like game wardens technically like has authority of like
say game words federal.
You they like you. I agree with you.
They don't follow me. They just they float everybody.
I mean, they they do their job.
If he's got his ducks in a row, they're like, have a nice day.
Yeah.
Like I said, as soon as I saw in my lifetime
fucking game wardens like you because you have the lifetime fishing line
and I've been had it for like 20, 20, 25 years by now, you know, look at this.
I get my card. You can't make them.
They're like the real ones. Know that. This.
You know what you been doing out here?
You mean the only time they ever give me.
They treat them like that?
Yeah, but not even still with the boat. Because I know how to.
I know I got keep my life jackets, I know I gotta have my lights,
you know what I mean?
So even with the boat, the only thing they could give me with
was that registration at one time, they got your type. Dumb shit.
Your ducks in a row, you're straight with them too.
And I make sure to hide my weed.
I ain't,
I just got the bowl sitting on the fucking seat
when I pull up, you know what I mean?
You know.
Do you think we could.
Do you think we could hit up Graves Mountain
just randomly and go fishing sometimes?
No. Why not.
Fish in there?
You probably have to.
Have you met, like, half the staff.
Fishing in a fucking.
You could see all the fish like palm was.
At this point in time,
Tom palm was like 2 or 3ft low, but it was only about this deep.
You could walk around whole thing and see the whole water.
It was.
All the fish, all their bunch of little bass savages swimming around there.
It was work to big ass fish that I seen still in the one spot,
but I kept throwing everything at them.
That's why I went back Saturday to try to catch.
And they one bite biting shit.
But they've been bit out. Yeah.
So like they'd have been fished out or they, they got to be, I don't know,
I thought they was maybe catfish but they would hit that shit out.
So maybe they're just big ass bass that know lures allure.
Yeah.
They've been fishing only eating their King two point in time.
Yeah, they don't seem too many fucking spinners
come at them and they just like, I ain't fuck with y'all.
That girl that does the book.
She said that they regularly just dump fish and they were.
In the river. Oh,
well, the river.
I mean, honestly, babe, I wouldn't mind river fishing if it was tall enough.
That was creek fishing. That wasn't even river fish.
I would fish in that. I think that'd be super fun.
Creek. Nice.
We could get some boots on. I got the first.
I got it on my outfit here.
This is. Like rainy. Perfect.
This is like, almost a rainy park Creek. Yeah.
I mean, you go fishing in that, you know what I mean?
It was picturesque. It was so pretty.
It was a good weekend, man. I'm like. It was crazy.
It was fun.
But I had to give it some shit for leaving early there.
Like he was just here. He was just fishing.
Why you gotta, why you gotta?
You're gonna leave your cutting, girls.
You're not trying to be fucking out in the goddamn woods and shit somewhere, dude.
Sneaking out.
Behind the house not have another 4 a.m. evening.
And that's the direction it was going.
It was.
It was, you know, there was there was an inflatable dinosaur costume
being brought out when I left, and that was at 1130.
The girls were decent costumes.
Shit's ridiculous.
And I watched, some weird shit happen,
you know, dos for Bowden and just one little chick.
Well, I just I can't even tell y'all how many.
I saw so many titties, too.
There was an entire exposé that occurred Friday night
because one chick said she thought hers were weird, so we all.
Did these titties look weird to you?
I mean, it's a known conversation
if you're friends with this girl who always does this.
Look at.
She has these feelings about her titties.
But the time and moment arose.
And then it was just like once, once we once the floodgates had opened
and people had exposed themselves at various points for various reasons,
it just continued to happen throughout the night, Friday night,
like random titties popping out, just
people dancing and just randomly,
you know, I don't know, it was fucking great, I loved it.
You love.
Free the man.
Fucking free the nip.
I was probably the most reserved. Honestly.
I waited until like, I had privacy and then showed mine to that one.
You were the most demure, so you must as your titties out for the girl.
Authorities look weird.
So she could never.
See how similar my titties look weird to me.
I needed to know that, like big aerials hanging around.
Like we needed to talk about it.
But I wasn't about to do it in a showy, like, everybody pull it out
to the at a time, you know, that just, I, I don't know, I, I,
I'm not going to do that with the like.
How big of an area talking about the bottom of.
Pressed into windows just to ensure that the bitches inside
saw that it is to like two different shakes.
Press them titties all up on the window.
Bam! Windows.
The windows front like on the door from the inside to the outside.
So they walked outside to press their titties against the dirty.
Window side.
It just happened multiple times.
If the bitch is on the inside, we're showing them today's
that press them up against the window so everybody outside could see
it was a it was a titty bonanza.
So how big an aerial are we talking about on this girl
that thought he was aerial was abnormally large.
How large were they?
Were decent sized. But.
I mean, are we talking like a slice of Genoa?
Salina of the titty?
The majority of the titty.
I talk about
the weight.
They were fucking beautiful, okay?
They were beautiful.
Teddies ain't no titty wrong.
You're never going to tell me wrong.
I'm not turning down to action.
I'm not even like, oh, new nipples is too big.
Like, that's not what I don't know, man.
You get like, a two inch nipple.
That might be a little reckless.
Sounds like they're bigger than that.
If you had, like, if it caught went.
Like, if you did a string, if you took a stand and stretched and stretched out
from one side to the other in the area, we're talking like four inches of string,
like I see cup, like, what are we talking about?
Is not that's not a factor, you know?
I mean, it's that nipple.
If that nipple fucking extended, that's the issue.
We're talking about the pencil eraser factor.
How big is this?
Is it like a pencil?
Is it like a quarter? Like.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a is it like four quarter
stacked or like, what are we talking about here?
Three nickels for dimes.
Five times.
Like, what are we talking about here. Like
this is the part.
So we're not worried about the aerial. We're worried about the actual nipple.
Worried about now we're on the nipple.
The nipple on the fucking 3 inch or 2in.
So it's fine.
We're talking about the devil. Is it like.
That was my topic to.
This isn't a dollar and I'm sure that was the topic,
but I mean, that's I'm saying that's the only time that's for me.
That's the only thing that matters, really.
That that would I would change my mind.
You're not gonna have a big old area.
That's that's fine.
But like, a long, long nipple is crazy.
Like, that's hard to work with.
So it was. It was an aerial, not the nipple.
There were concerns about both for this one check, but I was.
The girl that brought it up. Had issues on both sides.
Nipple and Ariela.
The ratio she felt was off.
And we all had to reassure her that it was not.
And and honestly, my favorite nipple that I saw this weekend.
My most preferred if I had to pick one that I liked over
all the others, there was like zero fucking Ariela.
And I thought to myself, like, that's so weird that she was like, no, Ariela!
But her nipple was the best nipple for sure, hands down.
But because all the body did.
Was just such a like, it was such a mix of different shapes and sizes.
It was good. It was a good thing.
I mean, people don't talk about that enough that like, they girls.
The spice of life, of titty variety. Well, yeah.
We're crazy showing off tits like that.
Like dudes one just walking around, just like whipping out there and shit.
All hanging out.
Titties are already on full display.
Well, that's. Nothing shameful for
depending on the scenario.
Yeah. Depending on. No. Yeah.
Somebody who's got bigger titties than their chicks, like that's a thing.
But yeah.
No, it was, it was. Yeah. No, it was intimate.
Like when you're with a bunch of bitches like that
and everybody has good energy and trust, just like blind
trust and love for each other, they come in with the right attitude.
Nobody's mean or catty.
And then when somebody tries to be mean or caddy gets shot down by,
like, all the others laughing at them at how ridiculous it is, like they're
it's just it's a whole vibe.
And it's the second time I've experienced it.
The first time was at the bachelorette party that Dos verboten had that
that I walked out of that weekend weekend feeling like
I had in one weekend, formed bonds and like,
created a core memory that I was going to have forever
for one fucking weekend with a bunch of random ass bitches.
I had none of them. I hardly really knew.
I did have like some of our friends there though.
Like that one. This one was more strangers.
There were like more people I did not know, but like, oh, it was just beautiful.
A lot of like, some women were just like freshly married.
Some of them had never been married.
Some of them were in 23 year long marriages.
You know,
one chick was a fucking grandma of four and was the same goddamn age as me.
That's range.
Like, wow, I can't imagine being my age and having four motherfucking grandkids.
But okay, okay, started popping out kids at 15, like.
And then you got other people who were 47 and childless.
Like, it was such a good
experiment.
And I had this conversation with this one kid that showed up,
there was this little boy that came in and he was trans
and was transitioning from like girl to boy and was one of the kids of the moms
that was there, one of the moms that was there, like their kids came whatever.
Anyway, it was Friday night and I was looking all like nervous and shit.
And I had to explain. I was like, look, everything.
Every time you find yourself in a situation like this,
you just have to think of it as a social experiment.
Like, if you can remove the desire to be like, likable or worry
about what everybody's thinking or like, try to adjust yourself to fit in.
Just think about it as like you're an observer of a fucking social experiment,
and just be yourself and like, have conversations.
See what you can learn from everybody.
See what conversations are going down.
Figure out like you know, get to know things like educate yourself.
You know, use this as an opportunity to like, spy
and watch and observe and gain knowledge and shit.
And I don't know, that's how I approach, like, all of these kinds of weekends,
because it's not often that you find yourself in a situation
where you have the opportunity to hang out with for an extended period of time
and let your hair down with, get wasted with and, you know,
like grind and talk about titties and like just anything.
And for a whole weekend, you know, it's just like a it's a very different,
atmosphere.
No one has to earn anything like you're just automatically in
because you're there, which is a nice feeling.
Bathed.
In the light of the experience.
It's just a good vibe.
It's a good vibe.
I think that there should people should do that kind of thing more often where they
just, like, invite others into whatever longstanding friendships exist to like,
I don't know, welcome and just like,
expand upon it, you know?
Sure.
Bring in.
More members.
Yeah.
Expand the group.
It gets.
A little I mean, it's a it's a that's a good setup.
That place is nice. That house nice. It's spread out.
It's a roomy.
How many rooms were there.
I think like five.
With multiple beds in each room.
One of those kind of. Places are not so much.
Some of. Them had just had one.
I knew there was five bathrooms in that motherfucker.
Yeah, they may have been seven rooms and five bathrooms.
Wasn't that many rooms okay? It was five.
It was five. There was a lot of space though.
But yeah, you're right.
The upstairs, I think, had four bedrooms.
No, three and then two downstairs.
So. Yeah, five.
But they were.
Every time you turn around, you were walking into another little bathroom.
It was cool.
It was like a really old ass house, you know, with history, you could just tell.
It could be haunted.
Had a little small fireplace.
Oh, wow. Nice.
That was cool. Old school.
And the decor. Was like old farmhouse.
Old like velvet or satin couches.
Deep wood, Oak floor.
Thick the dark. The dark wood.
Not that like shit.
Yeah.
Nice heavy class at old school. Shit.
Fuck yeah.
That's a good that's a good floor.
Old school.
Straight off the wood.
Straight off the tree.
Yeah.
That was nice.
Well, damn.
Lisa, congratulations on having a nice little friendship adventure with.
The ladies.
I hope I stay in touch with some of these bitches because they were rad,
like all of them.
I just I really did make so many friends.
It was fucking fun.
Thank you.
Dos for burden.
I was her plus one.
Is it that sort of thing?
Like a lady brings up another lady to the ladies weekend.
There's the grassy knoll.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. See, that could have been a great spot to bone.
Could have been a great spot to bone, babe.
Just at a at a flash point picture there.
It looks like a great spot to bone.
But then there's like
the cameras where the walking path is.
Yeah,
I think I think someone saw
my penis, I ain't, I was fucking, I was pissing right, I was I don't even,
I think I was turned opposite of the walking path right now.
Look right front whip.
I gotta. Take that. I ain't no man. Right.
And I with my dick out and I said something.
Tell me. Look again.
And I look in the corner of my eyes.
Goddamn white woman.
At least more than halfway up the path. Now this is.
I'm fine cooking and cooking.
Well, I don't know where to come from.
Like about the ground or some shit like that.
Like fucking Jesus or something.
But, I mean, the the walking path from where I was had to be
at least 150, 150ft.
Yeah, at least 150ft.
And I literally looked
out, look over.
This bitch is right within fucking probably 50 steps of me, right?
Like I can see whatever shirt she's wearing.
You know, you must have missed her.
And I, like, flip it up really?
As I'm like, oh, shit. Around the.
Way, turn back again, you know what I mean?
Look.
And I and she just walked by and, you know, it's.
Hello. It's tough people away.
He taught a porn note.
He talked it in, so. She saw her flip up.
I don't know.
So this is why my man didn't want to fuck on.
The blade either way.
Either way happened before you were talking to.
You said that shit because I heard them.
I heard them say that, Joe. And then you.
And then you were like, yeah, they talking about fucking.
I'm like, the walking path is on both sides of this motherfucker.
And I would have seen, but they didn't like 20ft.
Yeah.
It's the fact that somebody probably calling them low on me order or fucking
Charlie is getting some fucking fans right now, you know what I mean?
Cause some fucking little hope.
I hope I get a white woman's all round up because they got cock on the walk,
you know what I mean?
Like, so fired up. You know what I mean? So
now. That that brief moment she saw your.
Cock, his flat. Hand up enough.
Maybe at the same ability I just said it's a possibility.
How likely that is, I don't know, that's probably like me
winning my fucking seven banger I got going on right now, you know?
I mean, but hey, it could.
He whips his as I said,
look, how much is it down.
How much. More confident.
He isn't himself now that he's been with you for he drops the.
Fucking panic.
I think I heard like a
the way home.
I know when I was calling my dick
days on like give it to me now I know,
I know, you have no idea when I see it I want to.
Oh boy. With that dig out.
Dude, I, I've done.
A second dancing in the day.
I know
all the birds was chirping as soon as I start with my dad. Cat.
I thought it was a dizzy see. You know what I mean?
That's all with quiet.
Yeah, the birds stop singing.
Did they just start chirping? Quiet for the white woman.
It's like when it stopped raining and Forest Gump.
And then the bird. And then she left. And then.
And then she came back out that
I got urinate.
Well, we could have really given her a show.
You're lucky you work.
You're lucky we're able to tuck your dick away.
Yeah. Pete
believes panty drop an elixir.
And in between his legs.
I'm just saying, I didn't. I didn't have a chance on.
So then.
Yeah, I mean, it might not have been a possibility.
I'm dead.
But if I did half the time, then definitely wasn't there for her. Man.
Later on.
The little side corner of my packer, I've in the middle of.
Nowhere man.
Who thinks Saturday morning
and see free cock.
This is just out there on the water trail.
You know what I mean?
Fuck.
Even if it's ugly cock, you know what I mean? It's still cock.
You know, you're beautiful.
It's different now.
Just for.
Is gonna make you run home in another car.
Maybe they saw it on the trail.
It depends on how.
You never know if they're going out there looking for orchards and shit like that.
Next thing you know, they got a nice fucking decent looking car
or pretty cock or Semele.
Pretty cock.
You know, they wanted to see some.
Yeah. They didn't look for that.
She's like well I'm going this way.
Early morning now this is going to be my routine about this motherfucker.
It's like a dog squirrel and fucking out spout.
One day it's like when they finally find their good fucking hideout.
Writing their journal.
Like I saw the most amazing thing on my way.
I saw some majestic in the side of my audience.
I looked up and it was the most immaculate talk I've ever seen in my life.
Just the way it sparkled by the round the corner over the trees,
just the way the animals, the animals all came to it.
It was almost like.
Like The Lion King seems like shit.
Like it was so grateful.
Holding the fucking dinosaur in
everything you see now is yours.
Just like the little penis.
Now all of a sudden, a show down here for you.
Down here in the middle of the mountain lion King.
Like it's like a pot of gold, you know?
Whatever doesn't.
Neither one's gonna pay the bills.
This motherfucker right here,
Say it or don't worry.
I have to have my own on. The farm.
She never saw the cock,
and she was envisioning that she did see the cock, and she still.
Oh, boy.
Oh, she could have just been, like, fucking homeless guy got his dick out.
I mean, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it could be that. I get that a lot. You don't like the gym?
I like gym shorts with paint.
Paint with hundreds, you know?
I mean, I like doing it.
Yeah. Dress
flip flops and dropping.
Honey, you got chain for honey.
You'd have, like, hit it with the Chris Rock. Joe.
How much for that? Real.
Can you break a hundred?
So I like, hit him with that shit.
Ladies and gentlemen, with that said,
I think we're gonna have to bring this episode of dumbass to a close.
We'd like to thank you so much for listening.
We'd like to encourage you to listen to old episodes.
Unless you're Lisa as well as new episodes.
Keep grinding on the shit
that you're trying to get done, because that's how it's going to get done.
Yeah.
Like share. Subscribe.
Don't bogart this bitch.
And, don't forget, we love you very much.
And we wish you nothing but the best.
And peace be with you. Peace.
Free the NEP. Wow. Damn right.