0:00
in today's episode what we're going to
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be focusing on is building confidence
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within you that is building that belief
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in you so that you can step into your
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power and accomplish those Sports
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Ambitions and dreams so don't go
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anywhere I'll be with you very
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[Music]
0:23
shortly hey there welcome to ambition
0:26
habits with Tiff uh so happy to see you
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here it's uh very exciting I love
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talking about how to build confidence
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within because if we're confident we can
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go out there and Achieve our Ambitions
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whatever they may be in what we want to
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accomplish in our Sport and our life so
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um very excited about today's episode if
0:46
you haven't gone through that building
0:48
your self-confidence part one and gone
0:51
through that um seven level y process I
0:54
thoroughly recommend that you do that
0:56
first before listening to this episode
0:59
simply because what we're going to be
1:00
doing is we're actually going to be
1:01
uncovering what it is that's actually
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holding you back um from accomplishing
1:07
your Ambitions in your sport and what's
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holding you back from building that
1:11
confidence inside you so that you can
1:14
take on whatever it is that you want to
1:16
take on in sport and obviously in life
1:19
so I thoroughly recommend that you do
1:20
that first but if not you haven't
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listened to it yet still most welcome to
1:25
listen to this episode but when you work
1:27
through the um questions just make
1:30
sure you do that episode before you do
1:31
this one okay working through those
1:33
questions so we talked about what
1:35
confidence is in the last episode and
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really what I believe confidence is
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really a lack of confidence in yourself
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so it's a lack of belief within you
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don't think that you're good enough you
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don't think you can participate in
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something you don't think you can
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achieve something you don't think that
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you can perform well in something you
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don't think that you can be as good as
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someone else because you're too busy
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comparing yourself to someone else so
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there's a lot of these um uh messages um
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self talk that you're actually putting
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into your mind of what your truths are
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so your truth is maybe I'm I can't play
2:16
sport or I can't catch or I've never
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been good enough at sport or I was
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hopeless at sport growing up and as
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you're getting older you want to
2:24
participate in a sport but you're like
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oh well I couldn't do it then how am I
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going to be able to do that now so you
2:31
can see like the messages that you're
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actually giving yourself is that story
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you're telling yourself that you're just
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not good enough so therefore then you're
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walking into learning something and
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going well I wasn't good enough when I
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was younger why would I be good enough
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when I'm older and I don't want you to
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walk in with that attitude because what
2:49
we want to be able to do is rewire our
2:52
thinking because it's only what you've
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developed over time that perception of
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what you think you are because of the
3:00
stories that you've actually told
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yourself that you're not good enough you
3:03
could never play sport you were hopeless
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as a child um whatever that whatever
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those you know um stories that you were
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telling yourself so what we want to be
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looking at is ways in which we can
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improve on that okay so that you can
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step into your power you can step into
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believing in yourself you can step into
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building that confidence in you so that
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you're working on uh participating in a
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sport that you'd love to participate in
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achieving whatever that ambition is for
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that Sport and um feeling really good
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about it because the thing is we want
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to feel really good about ourselves when
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we go and play sports so we need to work
3:44
on ways in which we can do that and the
3:46
first thing that we want to make sure
3:47
that we're doing is we're working on
3:48
what's actually going up on up in our
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mind here okay so that's number
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one so that's what we're going to be
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looking at today going to give you some
3:56
exercises around
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that there was a great um uh book
4:02
written by Napoleon Hill Think and Grow
4:04
Rich and there's a great quote by
4:07
him if you think you can you are right
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and if you think you can't you are right
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so that's all based around belief isn't
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it so if you think you can accomplish
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something or do something well that's
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right because you believe that you can
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if you believe that you can't accomplish
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something then you are right also
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because that's what your belief is
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that you believe that you can't
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accomplish something so we've got to be
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really looking at the language in what
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how we're speaking um because those are
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creating those stories on what's
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actually going on with you and that
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might be actually what's actually
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holding you back so like I said in that
4:47
first um uh part one of the building
4:50
your self-confidence was all about
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making sure that we were becoming aware
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of actually what was going on we're
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creating some awareness's of how we're
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actually speaking now we're going to be
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working on ways in which we can start
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developing belief okay because if you
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don't believe in yourself it affects
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everything that you do okay it affects
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the way you um obviously participate in
5:11
a sport it affects how you operate in
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life it affects how you operate in work
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situations it affects you how you
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operate with other people around you it
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affects you how you operate with around
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your family and so on because of the
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messages the information the stories
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that you're telling yourself so we're
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got to be working on that today so
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before we actually get into that I'm
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just going to share a quick story with
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you about the lack of belief if you
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haven't heard my story before my story
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was me as I grew up in being a tennis
5:42
player because that's what I wanted to
5:43
be a professional tennis player travel
5:45
the world live the dream you know cuz I
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fell in love with tennis it was my
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ultimate goal in my life my ultimate
5:52
ambition um as I got older especially
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teenage uh teenager 15 16 you know very
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impressionable age very um
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self-conscious I believed what everyone
6:04
was telling me that I was hopeless
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useless not good enough all of that kind
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of thing never make it and so on so that
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was the story I kept telling myself I
6:13
kept winning tournaments in at that you
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know in that age group and so on I won a
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lot of great tournaments um but as I got
6:19
older and older sort of like 1819 I was
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just not performing out on the court um
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by the time I turned 20 I was playing
6:26
overseas and I just told myself cuz I
6:29
couldn't get through the um the first
6:32
round in tournaments I just said oh well
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you're just not good enough right but
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what I discovered was that when I really
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looked back at it years later was the I
6:42
had no belief in me I didn't think I was
6:44
good enough I used to talk myself down I
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used to tell myself I was hopeless used
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to say of course you couldn't win cuz
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you can't you're not just not good
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enough I look at everybody's laughing at
6:52
you um I was worried about what other
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people thought when they were watching
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me I was nervous playing against the
6:58
other person I'd get so nervous I'd
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freeze and I didn't know how to cope
7:02
with the nerves even though I wanted it
7:04
so badly and I trained so hard and I put
7:07
so much effort into the physical
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training I didn't realize it was the
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mental stuff that actually held me back
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um out on the out on the court and
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that's why I was losing the matches
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great in practice Under Pressure
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couldn't perform didn't know why okay
7:24
so years later I discovered when I took
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up golf that I had some tennis demon so
7:30
I went to work on building that belief
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because that was the thing that was
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holding me back so now when you see me I
7:38
I appear very confident and um have a
7:41
huge belief in myself in anything that I
7:43
do but I have been working on it for
7:46
years I can guarantee you and it is a
7:48
daily process that I work myself through
7:51
um in order to make sure that I am
7:52
feeling confident I have full belief in
7:55
me and then I just go out there and
7:56
accomplish my ambitions so I want that
7:59
for you so I'm going to show you ways in
8:00
which we can do that over time through
8:02
these episodes but what we're going to
8:04
be focusing on today is how we're going
8:05
to build belief okay so what we're going
8:08
to be working on in belief I've actually
8:10
got a whole chapter written on that in
8:12
my book Focus how to reach your
8:14
potential in sport business and life uh
8:17
the chapter is called believe in you
8:19
trust you because that's what's really
8:21
about is that that's the lack of trust
8:23
within uh because uh for whatever reason
8:25
you don't think you're good enough or
8:26
you'll never make it and so on so we're
8:28
going to be working through a few
8:30
questions in that book I'm going to give
8:31
you some exercises to do with that share
8:34
a little story in the book as well and
8:36
then we're you're going to
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um do those questions and then you're
8:41
going to give me some feedback and
8:43
tell me what you're actually going to be
8:45
focusing on okay so what we're going to
8:47
be focusing on this is on page
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37 and I'm just going to be talking
8:52
about what will happen if you don't
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believe in you um we're going to go
8:56
through this little um paragraph here
8:59
and then I have a series of questions
9:00
that we're actually going to be working
9:02
through so that we can then work on
9:05
building that belief okay so what will
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happen if you won't believe in you well
9:11
let's talk about
9:13
you we talked about going after your
9:15
ultimate dream in the first chapter and
9:18
here I am now asking what will happen if
9:20
you won't believe in
9:22
you really what will happen you heard my
9:27
story about my complete lack of belief
9:29
in me but what about
9:32
you I can tell you what will happen you
9:35
won't achieve your Ambitions that's for
9:40
sure you'll be angry you'll be
9:43
frustrated possibly aggressive depressed
9:47
devastated alone and no one will
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understand how you're feeling I do cuz
9:53
I've been
9:55
there they won't get
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it will affect how you treat yourself
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and how you treat people around
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you won't have any respect for
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anyone because you have lost respect for
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yourself you will attract people who
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will control you tell you what to do put
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you down bully you and of course you'll
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believe everything they say because why
10:26
would you be
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right you will always see yourself
10:30
as
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wrong you won't go after anything or
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push yourself you'll just fall into
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whatever comes along because you'll be
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lost everything that you have ever
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wanted is no longer there on the path
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because you gave up on you that's right
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you gave up on you okay so what we're
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going to be focusing on right now is
10:53
this next
10:55
question I want you to get out a journal
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if you've got a journal or a notebook in
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you're to write the answer to this
11:00
question of course I want you to write
11:01
out the question as well so what will
11:03
happen if I don't believe in me so I
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want you to understand and to become
11:08
aware that if you don't believe in you
11:10
you're going to miss out and live life
11:14
with regret I understand that one it
11:16
took me to the age of 45 to come to
11:19
terms with never being the tennis player
11:21
I wanted to be I was at an online
11:24
marketing event in Thailand and I was
11:26
listening to a speaker on the subject of
11:28
belief and lack of belief something went
11:31
off inside and I cried for 2 hours
11:34
straight that is so right I bowled my
11:36
eyes out I still remember it I was
11:39
balling I realized that I'd been holding
11:41
on to this feeling of lack of
11:43
accomplishment since I was 20 years old
11:46
that's when I gave up on my tennis
11:47
career and gave up on me it was
11:50
deep-seated as you can imagine but it
11:53
was the release I needed in order to
11:56
move forward so I was 45 when really hit
11:59
me this lack of belief like I said I was
12:01
on this journey from the age of 34
12:04
onwards trying to discover what held me
12:06
back in tennis because I'd taken up Golf
12:08
and I didn't want my tennis demons to
12:09
come back and haunt me so don't hold
12:12
back on you are worth it now answer
12:15
that question before we continue I'll
12:17
remind you again write out this question
12:20
and answer it what will happen if I
12:23
don't believe in
12:26
me that's what we want to do right now
12:28
answer that question what will happen if
12:29
I don't believe in me awesome okay so
12:32
how' you go did you answer that question
12:34
yet if not make sure you do that at the
12:35
end of this episode what we're also
12:37
going to be looking at is we're going to
12:39
be looking
12:40
at we're going to rate ourselves in our
12:43
belief system of where we're at right
12:44
now and then we're going to look at a
12:46
way in which we can get our belief
12:48
system moving upwards
12:51
okay so again I'm going to read you
12:53
another uh paragraph out of my book um
12:57
because we're talking about belief and
12:59
it's that whole chapter is all about
13:01
belief so how would you rate your belief
13:03
in you how would you rate your belief in
13:05
you today if 10 was rated as the highest
13:09
where would you have ultimate belief in
13:12
your
13:13
abilities and one is the lowest where
13:16
you have no belief whatsoever how would
13:19
you rate yourself so what we want to be
13:22
doing here is we want to be rating
13:23
ourselves between 1 and 10 where our
13:26
belief system is about ourselves not
13:28
only in sport but just in general so you
13:30
can we can apply this to your sport
13:32
though what is your belief in your
13:33
sports ability right now somewhere
13:36
between one somewhere between 10 okay
13:39
mine's 10 used to be about four or even
13:43
less may maybe even one years ago but
13:45
it's 10 now so if you scored 10
13:48
congratulations you are halfway there
13:51
towards achieving your dream there will
13:52
be more to do than just having a high
13:54
belief system but this is awesome
13:57
because you will not question
13:59
yourself when times get tough when it
14:02
becomes challenging you are tested you
14:05
will have the strength to be able to
14:06
work through it so
14:08
congratulations if you scored less than
14:10
10 then we've got some work to do okay
14:13
so what we're going to be working
14:14
through um we're actually going to work
14:16
through step two in this belief question
14:19
um from my chapter of belief um and what
14:24
you're going to be doing is starting to
14:26
set up some standards for yourself in
14:28
the way in which you speak so I'm just
14:31
going to talk you through this through
14:32
my um uh step two part on your standards
14:38
and then I want you to start creating
14:41
your own standards because this is how
14:43
we're going to start building that
14:44
belief within ourselves so that we can
14:46
build that
14:47
self-confidence so what are your
14:49
standards so your standards are how you
14:51
expect yourself to operate on a daily
14:53
basis what you expect of you so what you
14:57
want to do is you want to write down
14:59
these standards and place them on the
15:00
wall near your desk or in your bedroom
15:02
or somewhere you can see them every day
15:05
some people have affirmation cards
15:06
beside their bed um some people have
15:09
them down you know where they do some
15:11
work with their laptop and so forth some
15:13
people might have it in the mirror in
15:15
their bathroom wherever it is that's
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going to remind you to look at it every
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day um there's a great book called tiny
15:20
habits a great habit for you to do is
15:23
like when you get up in the morning and
15:25
you get out before you get out of bed my
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habit is before I get out of bed is
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to read out my standards of how I want
15:33
to be
15:34
today that's a good one to do okay
15:37
so here's some
15:39
examples my standards I have respect for
15:43
everyone I speak with I write in my
15:46
evidence journal every day it's like a
15:48
journal like evidence of seeing the
15:50
great things that are happening in your
15:52
life I wake up at 5:00 a.m. every
15:55
morning I work out at the gym every day
15:59
eat a healthy breakfast lunch and dinner
16:01
that gives me energy and focus I eat
16:03
healthy snacks throughout the day to
16:05
look after my body when I'm working on
16:07
my goals I am focused and stay present I
16:11
set my intentions of what I want to
16:13
achieve each day all right so there's
16:15
some simple examples of how you um want
16:18
to operate you could do lots of other
16:20
things as well around your sport but
16:22
let's start with something really simple
16:24
so that we're working on creating those
16:26
that positive um Talk positive
16:29
thoughts so that you're setting
16:31
yourself up with the expect
16:33
expectations of treating yourself with
16:36
more respect when you treat yourself
16:38
with more respect you're going to feel
16:39
better within okay so that's what you
16:41
want to be focusing on today um to start
16:44
building that belief within you okay so
16:47
I hope you got a lot out of that today
16:49
you've got some work to do working on
16:51
building your belief within you you've
16:53
got some exercises to work on that is
16:55
fantastic um so I'd love if you could
16:58
share with me what it is that you're
17:00
working on so wherever you hear this
17:02
episode to share with me below what
17:04
you're actually working on and also what
17:07
it is that you like best about what you
17:08
heard today that'll be great and if you
17:12
haven't yet downloaded my three steps to
17:16
building
17:17
self-confidence you just go to my
17:19
website tiffany-mika.com
17:29
um steps are it's the HAS confidence
17:33
formula you'll need to have a look at
17:35
that so you know what you need to be
17:36
focusing on to build that confidence and
17:39
uh so I'd love to see you download that
17:41
and keep in contact with me how you're
17:43
working on in building your confidence
17:46
and like I said if you really enjoyed
17:48
what you heard today uh leave a message
17:50
below what you like best about what you
17:52
heard and for now though I want you to
17:55
dream big believe in you go after dreams
17:56
have an absolutely awesome day take care
17:58
talk soon bye for now
18:02
[Music]