Amit Sood === amit-sood: [00:00:00] It's about self expression. what is that one song that we were born to sing? What is that one book that we were born to write? DREAMBIGINTRO-SERDULA: Welcome to dream big with big dreamers conversations for career growth, inspiration, and insight. It's time to dream big. donna-serdula: Hello and welcome to Dream Big with Big Dreamers. My name is Donna Sardula. With me today I have Amit Sood. Amit, thank you so much for joining me. amit-sood: It's a pleasure, Dana. I love being here. donna-serdula: So can you introduce yourself to us? Who is Amit, what do you do, and how do you help people? amit-sood: I'm a life coach and that's the simplest of definition. the work is at, a transformational level. So the, how I relate to my work is about fulfillment. So it's about accomplishing and being the max level of you. That you can ever be. That's what we are aiming for. And you can tell that there is a little bit of an apprehension gunning for this ambitious goal, right? We do not feel like, okay, [00:01:00] that's something that we should be talking about, fulfillment, who me, I'm managing life here, making But this is about breaking loose. What is it that prevents us from taking flight? What is it that limits us closer to the ground? why can't we donna-serdula: yeah. amit-sood: just like we were perhaps like children as we were children. donna-serdula: What brought you to this? Why does, why is this your passion? Why do you want to help people in this manner? amit-sood: So this is about what you're discovering here, right? It's about, what you have. I think a coach's job is about coaching herself or himself. It's about, being the fully free version of yourself. In here and then as you transform as you bring greater ease to yourself That's what you share with your clients your audience. believe that's the kind of work So for 25 30 years, I was into sales marketing business development. I led some organizations big corporations in india and [00:02:00] asia some part in germany and other places which was you know make do succeed make stuff happen lead to do that, we put up a certain kind of persona, a necktie, a certain kind of suit and, and it's not just external, it's metaphorically, we are actually taking on a completely different personality that's different donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: is not donna-serdula: Is that good or bad? Is that good or is that bad? amit-sood: it's not neither good nor bad, as long as you feel free in it, if there is something that we are stifling, And that's what I believe our job in life is as well about. It's about self expression. what is that one song that we were born to sing? What is that one book that we were born to write? It's donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: letting that happen freely. And that's what we somehow prevent ourselves. We're trying to show up in a fashion which Others are fine with, that's what we do in corporate life. Isn't it? donna-serdula: It is. The one thing that I found fascinating about you is that you were living in Paris, and now you're living in Paris. In [00:03:00] Texas. And you've already said you've been all over the world. So you've seen so many different people and so many different cultures. how do you use that experience to inform what you're doing? amit-sood: when I, went to Paris and then subsequently to countries, say like us, initially there was a lot of apprehension. Are people going to be different? Their challenges are different. There are certain fundamental differences in culture. There are That they deal, the problems of life could be different. But now what I've discovered, having done this work for close to a decade is that, we are dealt with very similar problems. donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: At the human end, we have very similar and perhaps what will set us free is also very similar. The experience of freedom would also be very similar. it's about emotional healing, donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: So what I meant by that is about, see, As we have come along in life, there have been instances where we've been disappointed, perhaps a heartbreak or two, [00:04:00] and, some disappointment in terms of, career, relationships, Matters of financial nature, or even health, etc. That leaves us feeling that we, it puts us inwards, as if in reserve, we do not want to Participate in life, in full engagement as if there is the relationships we make are, hesitant in, experimentation or little, I meant like venturing in out is somehow limited because Before. And I donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: just in relationship. It's about, it's also about aliveness. It's about self expression. It's about business itself. The way we lead our teams, it subdued. We are not quite fully creative in our businesses. We are while offering products or services also. that's what my work has been about. It's about discovering what is your true voice and why is it not, coming out in full gusto, if I was to use the word, donna-serdula: What do you find is, yeah, it does. What do you feel holds most people back? amit-sood: The first is, this need to [00:05:00] conform. What would be, the best version from other people's point of view, than the most authentic version of me. the first thing. And to That, heal this, the need to look good and it shows up in so many ways, the imposter syndrome, et cetera. it must happen at so many different levels. One is validation of who I am. Willingness to accept my Complete humanity. That means that it's got an entire spectrum of ideas. There are certain ways of being in which I'll excel. People would love who I am, but there would also be certain areas where I'm human and ordinary, donna-serdula: Yeah, amit-sood: perhaps. And that's all right too, and so the one person who doesn't accept that, embrace that, oneself is me. So that's the first aspect. Another is the kind of emotional impulse that I do not allow myself to feel like I did as a child. , let me see if I can explain this. A child [00:06:00] loves fully or, in preteens, the first love that kind of thing that when you, when one falls in love, it's about and most authentic. And even at a donna-serdula: because they haven't been, because they haven't been hurt before. They don't know to protect themselves. amit-sood: need to put yourself in caution and that judgment that we, the spectacles of judgment that we sometimes have on that. Okay. Does this guy really mean that's not really present? We are willing to trust our heart and the expression in another person, but, , as we grow, as they've been heartbreaks, et cetera, we begin to be cautious and we begin to look at our own impulses to love, express ourselves fully with caution and not as, not just ourselves, when there is an expression of love from another person, we view it with a caution. Bye. Eye of cynicism because who me you love me, it is always that I am this do I deserve all this, so there's always a little bit of caution with donna-serdula: I'm amit-sood: let this in.[00:07:00] donna-serdula: wondering if there's a, if there's a tie here, right? So it's me, like, do you love me? Like I've been hurt. I, I have flaws to tie it with the first statement that you made, which was, how we project ourselves and how we put ourselves out there. Is there that, is there a way to put ourselves out there, to brand ourselves, to be corporate. But still be true and not hold ourselves back. How do you wrestle with that? So you can get ahead in your business, in your career, and not push people back because you're too unique maybe, but at the same time live fully, you live uniquely, live genuinely and authentically. amit-sood: the way is to see if you can begin to operate a little bit more from the heart rather than the head. This is the place of anxiousness, and it's a bit. Data and okay, scarcity. There isn't enough opportunity. So everybody must compete for [00:08:00] that one share of success. This is a place of trust, little more self expression, a harmony, and also connections. we begin to see vulnerability in other people, the same vulnerability that I sense here, the same anxiousness that I sense here. And I begin to bring the kind of concern. Comfort for the people out there. And now you are suddenly listening to clients, customers, potential brand customers. So now you are donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: about what are their needs. You're not selling for the sake of, okay, I need that money. Now you're beginning to be concerned for what best relief your need, donna-serdula: Yeah. Yeah. amit-sood: now that's the way to it. Operate in a corporate and also that is what will set you most free to be creative to try out new ideas when we think about vision in a corporation or a company, that's another topic, which is so for an individual. It's just as important to perhaps have a dream of vision of a future in which [00:09:00] I'm fulfilled, complete, it doesn't have to donna-serdula: Which, which, which differs from a lot of people's vision, which is, I want a big house. I want a fancy car. I want however many dollars in the bank account. It's really taking the external and moving it internal. amit-sood: And so even if it were about the house, the important part is how would I be feeling when I'm living there? What does it feel? Do I feel? And it's not coming from the back, the feet area. How big is the house or the number of possessions that I own the size of the car? It's about how did I feel when I was in that place? So it's about allowing yourself to dream that I would feel. And now that idea, that of the future, it's possible to pull it here into the present. Because it's essentially about the feeling that you have, that you are not willing to have here and now. It's not going to be put together by a certain set of possessions. It's going to come alive because you are paying [00:10:00] attention in the right way to what is happening. donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: is still important. I believe the kind of ideal day that you would have, the experiences that you would have, people you would have those experiences with, what kind of relationships you would be living into. So, it's about my fashion of being alive is what I dream about. Not about, what will it look like to others. It's about donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: in here. donna-serdula: Do you utilize any tools to help you harness that? I'm, I think, I named my company Vision Board Media amit-sood: Yeah. donna-serdula: And I find vision boards to be a fabulous way to, to harness the dreams and make it something that I can envision, but also feel at the same time. amit-sood: Yeah. donna-serdula: How do you do that? amit-sood: So I believe it's a little bit about first. So instead of using the kind of tools, it's about a set of processes or a set of distinctions that this is not it. This is it. So you're not auto distinct make a [00:11:00] separation between, say, for example, having an idea of a dream needs you to be authentic about where you are in the present. It doesn't begin start on the top if denying it. where I am. So it's about fully acknowledging how I feel and what is present here. Having acknowledged there's a little bit of healing that's necessary about allowing myself to feel as I feel here. Having felt there is an opportunity to be free from those sensations which those emotions and feelings bring. That's a process, that's the kind of process that I'm talking about. Going forward as the vision or an idea begins to take shape, it is still not a possibility that I still don't relate to it as if it is alive. It's possible that it will someday happen. I will feel like that. So there is process for you to create a future, which is still a picture, Picture, fully well that it is not real yet. You are [00:12:00] beginning to hold on to it as precious because it's my vision. I love it. And it's inspired. It transforms me today in my chair because it energizes actions, pulls me into passionate action. You know what I mean? donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: a parable, for example. So there's a man who lives in a jail and because he's been sentenced to life. Day after day, he wakes up in jail, living the same life over and over. Doesn't feel like getting up, taking care of his health, learning a new skill. Doesn't see anything bright or beautiful in the future. friend of his comes along and says, There is a new law that is passed and it's a possibility that you could be free in a year. this person is still in the jail, but he begins to have an optimism which makes him want to take care of his health. He wants to take He looks. And he wants to acquire new skills because he sees tomorrow as beautiful. That's also the donna-serdula: Yeah, amit-sood: [00:13:00] of a vision and a dream. It's about knowing fully well that it's not fully real yet. I'm still in that jail. It's this could be, it could take some effort. Time, I know it's possible and I'm holding onto it that it's possible. And that energizes me today. And so that it's a donna-serdula: that, amit-sood: isn't it? donna-serdula: well, that analogy reminds me of something that had freed me from my corporate shackles years ago, I had heard a man speak, and he talked about, if you were to take a, an animal, And you were to raise it its entire life in a cage, but you were to open the door that animal wouldn't run free. He would actually move further into his cage because he didn't know what was out there. What's out there was chaotic and scary and strange. And he would move backwards in the cage. And. When I had decided that I wanted to start my own business, this was back in 2009, 15 years ago, [00:14:00] I had gotten a call from a recruiter who said, we'd love to bring you back, get you back into sales, get you back onto a salary, and I went, I said, yeah, I'm going to abandon this dream and I'm going to go back to what's comfortable. It didn't take me long to realize Even though it was comfortable, it really wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't my dream. And then when I heard that analogy, I realized I was moving back into the cage. And so I almost wonder how many people are in that cage. Can, how can they dream when they've been in this cage for so long? amit-sood: So one, so sorry, go on, please. donna-serdula: No that's okay. I was just that you can't be what you can't see. So like, what can you do to break free? amit-sood: Yeah. I think the one thing that we do and my journey to freedom and, entrepreneurial work in the field of my purpose [00:15:00] also came with a very similar experience. One to one, one step forward, two backward, two forward, one backward. We don't trust our hearts enough, right? There is a calling. There's a nudge of the heart. There's a pull on the heart. That's what you ought to try That's where you're that's where you the message or like I said, But we do not want to step in that direction fully because there's a little bit of anxiousness But everybody else is here But I you know and people always said earn more and this is that earning is more important And that's this is the safest way to earn this, and it's always about money for everybody. It's about money. Why am I going to think differently? But now it is about beginning to respect your heart a little bit more. What does it mean to truly honor yourself today? what would it look like if you were to really respect your heart a little bit more? day, we compromise own. Honor our own respect in our own eyes. I wish to go right, but I keep going left. That's not the way in which I [00:16:00] respect myself. So if we donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: we were to try in small measures, what does my heart ask for? It could also be letting go of some kind of company and letting in another kind of company, wearing a different kind of clothes, perhaps. Holding a different kind or kind of possessions and perhaps listening to different kind of music. It's because does it cause in here? Being aware about it. How do I feel when I'm being a different this donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: love to be? And that brings in another. Huge topic about being, which is different from what I'm doing, right? Who am I being? What version of me would I be proud to step into? the version that I wish I lived as. does that life look like? It's one of the, one of the exercises which moved me into into this greater conviction was, traveling through [00:17:00] train. So there was not much else to do. I took out a writing pad and I started writing what is the most idyllic version of a myth. what I meant was. I would be truly happy if I did all of this every At least I got to do this. It was about reading a scripture. It was about learning an instrument. And it was also about not spending time with those kinds of friends, but I wish I had. This kind of friends, describing that more clearly that I wish we spoke about these kinds of topics rather than the politics or something else that I'm Other end. and I described it in greater detail what I wish I would be writing I, what would I be Who would I be spending more time with? What would I even look like? What kind of clothes would give me alignment, congruence with who I truly want to be? Would be proud to donna-serdula: yeah. amit-sood: A year or so later, I came across that writing pad again, and you'd be, I kid you not on a, I had substantially moved from the version that I was earlier to this. And it was [00:18:00] pretty effortless. All that it took was self awareness. That donna-serdula: I amit-sood: Yeah. donna-serdula: I had a very similar experience. amit-sood: about it. donna-serdula: I was, I can't remember the ages exactly. It was a five, I put it together a five year plan and I was probably around 34, 35 years old and I wanted to be married and I wanted to have children and I wanted to have a successful business and I wanted just different levels of happiness and whatnot. I wrote the list. It wasn't my ideal self, but it was where did I see myself? What did I want to accomplish in five years? I then lost it. I lost the list, but in my head it was there and I continued to move forward. I had to make changes though. I noticed that in my own life I had certain things that were, that prevented me from moving. So I needed to make room in my life for people and [00:19:00] events. That was a huge moment for me was that I have to make room for people because no one can come in if there's no room for them. So that was a huge, that was huge for me. That's a little off this topic, but it was right, it was a year before the five years would be complete. And there were a few things that I hadn't completed. And I remember finding the sheet and reading through it and thinking, Oh my goodness, I didn't find my soulmate and I'm not going to be a mother because it's a year. There's no way in a year. Within just a few days, I met the man who's now my husband. And within one full year from that moment, I had gotten married, I had a child and I had three or two, two stepdaughters. And it all happened. Some of it happened slowly, and some happened at the very end. [00:20:00] But it all happened. And I wasn't trying as much as I was making room. And I was, I don't even know how to explain it. But I think I was just accepting of it. amit-sood: That's uncanny, right? It's, this is unbelievable. I also think that also connects with the topic that you were talking about, the corporate life where there is a certain masculine way of pushing through our life that we normally deploy, which is, let me make this happen. Let me do this. Let me assert. Let me exert. Let me open some doors. I've got to do this. Make an agenda, a to do list, and I make them too. I'm not donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: it, putting everything away. But there's another way which also needs to correspond along with pushing hard in this masculine fashion, which is this letting in, permitting, appreciating, as if, what is it that wants to happen? Where is it that my life is already wanting to push me, or [00:21:00] what wants to come into my life, but I'm pushing against it, so donna-serdula: Yeah. And sometimes you don't even know that you're pushing against it. You don't even know that you're preventing it. You don't even know that there's blocks. amit-sood: yeah, and therefore it's a need to perhaps slow down a little bit more and start paying attention to what is the calling of my heart, perhaps letting oneself step one, one more step in the direction of what is it that I truly want, one more step, just a little bit more, and I completely agree that this awareness of what is my idyllic life, Begins to gently change our decisions and it begins to manifest in a fashion in which it was rather effortless and it surprises us when we look back. what did it take? It took awareness. I think that's the biggest thing that, what do you really want? What is that? And it's not about material things. I must emphasize again, only material things, although they must be coming true as well. I believe the biggest thing and the thing that makes bigger difference is how I feel when I have them. donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: to be feeling? What is [00:22:00] important to me? What experiences are important with learning? donna-serdula: It took me a long time and you know how part of my business is to write LinkedIn profiles and in some ways when I first started it was such a like, Oh, let's just tell this person's story. It's going to help them. Get a job or whatnot. But what I found was people's lives were changing and they were getting happier and more fulfilled and just amazing things would occur. And it was far beyond just getting a job or just getting a sale. And it took me a long time to understand why, but I think it wasn't so much that we were writing a profile, but we were offering a reason to really think, where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? What does that world look like? amit-sood: Yeah. donna-serdula: And in a way we say story, but I almost think I, I often say it's a manifesto that we're writing. It's not a profile. It's a [00:23:00] manifesto. Who are you and where, what do you believe in and where do you want to go? And so it becomes almost like this. It's a manifest story. Like it, we tell the story, but then we can manifest it. amit-sood: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, it aligns so completely what I believe as well, which is about, okay, what is this version of you, which is, which will honor you? donna-serdula: Yeah. And what's authentic and what's genuine and what's real amit-sood: are donna-serdula: and let's, amit-sood: be? Who donna-serdula: yeah, amit-sood: this person that's within you who wants to step out in her fullest glory? Why are you keeping her in? donna-serdula: yeah. amit-sood: as that, as you begin to honor this person more fully, there's greater and greater resonance and there's greater congruence. You feel great energy and conviction that, Oh, I'm on the right track because it feels so right. donna-serdula: Do you think though that when they first see it, there is, it doesn't feel right. It feels weird, it feels [00:24:00] bizarre, but then you almost have to exist within that to begin to feel congruent again. amit-sood: And also 100 donna-serdula: And doesn't that push people away sometimes? amit-sood: percent it does because who are you going to trust? Are you going to trust this calling from inside that you've been neglecting all your life? That's new. Why should I begin that? This is never safe. It's never been safe. It gets me into heartbreaks and it donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: in embarrassing situations. But this is It's about self expression. I'm not saying that it is, it has to be difficult. The greatest difficulty is here. It's about healing that hesitation of pain. Not trusting ourselves. the word I'm using is healing because I believe that those wounds which were generated earlier on in life, there is a little bit of attending to them that's necessary. It's about discovering how do they hold us back. that's actually some of the work that I do, which is about what are those patterns that we are reliving? The hurts that we seem to be having again [00:25:00] and again, even at work. That, what are those things that seem to be paining me again and again. And there is freedom possible from them. donna-serdula: And I remember you had said it's forgiving. It's allowing that forgiveness. And when you do so it can reverberate throughout. amit-sood: And it's a very radical kind of forgiveness. The work is Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness. And that work is that there isn't, eventually you discover there's nothing to forgive because the injury which I felt the other person was causing was pre existing here. I already am somebody who's been holding a thought, let's say for example, Men cheat. I'm reliving that experience. I'll spot those kind of men who would cheat eventually and that validates my worldview and that's or I'm not worthy. That's the same thing that my life experiences are recreating because I'm holding on to that belief which is negative. When I Discover that belief, and it's a rather in depth process, it's a deeper process, it's not just an [00:26:00] intellectual process, the healing is emotional in nature. As I begin to discover what my negative self beliefs are, and work on letting them go, as if a tremendous weight is lifted off my shoulders. you certainly take flight, just spontaneously, because you've discovered conviction, this energy, and this freedom. To believe the belief in yourself, which you were not used to life becomes, and I believe, I really believe life is easier than we have made it out to be. It isn't supposed to be as tough as it sounds and as much of a battle as we've made it, donna-serdula: Yeah. amit-sood: to compete. There is no scarcity. There's enough, And donna-serdula: I love that. amit-sood: Yeah. donna-serdula: If someone wants to learn more and work with you and have these breakthroughs and this radical forgiveness, how do they reach out to you? amit-sood: So, the easiest way is to write to me. I'll put my email with, out with you. It's amithanandsood at [00:27:00] gmail. com. They could visit my website, which is amithsood. co. in. And that'll tell them a little bit more about my work. I'd love to work with people who are about their fulfillment. That's the only, that's all that it takes. a little faith that fulfillment is possible. There's this ecstasy of completion, which is possible that settled in my completion. This life is glorious. a belief that it's possible. I just don't know yet how, but I'm bringing, I'm willing to bring curiosity to it. That's enough. donna-serdula: I love it. Amit, thank you so much for joining me today. amit-sood: been a pleasure, Donna. donna-serdula: Bye bye. amit-sood: Thank you so much. ​