Donna Serdula 0:00 Welcome to dream big with big dreamers conversations for career growth, inspiration and insight. It's time to dream big. Thank you for joining us. This is Dream Big with big dreamers. My name is Donna Serdula. And with me today is Gloria Milner. GLORIA Milner is a life coach helping professional women achieve a work life balance. She has been an independent Rabbi for 10 years working in the interfaith space. Prior to that she was an entrepreneur in the hotel business in New York City, as well as an advertising executive. Prior to that, she taught high school English, she is almost 75 years old, and coaching is her fifth career. Gloria, thank you so much for joining me today. Unknown Speaker 0:45 Thank you for having me. Donna Serdula 0:46 So five careers in, what 60 years they say like that. Oh, like one a decade it seems Yeah, Unknown Speaker 0:56 almost right. Donna Serdula 0:58 Did you time it? I mean, is it like after a day? Is it like this Seven Year Itch where it's like, after a while you're like, I gotta get out of here. I Unknown Speaker 1:04 gotta do something I gotta get out of here. Yeah, I'm not quite but that sounds like it's good movie. So yeah, I grew up in the, in the time when, you know, it was acceptable to teach high school or be an education. And that's what I did for a bunch of years and did that in DC. And then I came back to New York and not quite sure what I wanted to do. And I ended up in advertising and loved it. And it was the Mad Men era. And it was fine. It was sexy. It was, you know, full of interest. And, and at the same time I met married the man I I was married to for 32 years before I was widowed. And, and we put together a leasehold for an SRO, a single room occupancy Hotel in Times Square in the 80s and 90s, which was a DMZ zone. And he ran it. And I was in advertising supporting us. And then when Giuliani came in, cleaned up Time Square, we said it's time to clean up this hotel and made it a 41 room bed and breakfast. And, and he said to me, Gloria, you've got to get out of advertising and help me because I don't even know what to do on a computer. So I literally grew the business from zero to a good good amounts of money in the space of 10 years and, and it was really phenomenal supervise the staff of 12. And I did everything. It was a leasehold. So when the lease ran out of the owners demolished it after 2008 because it was a financial crisis. And I had to think about what I wanted to do. Did I want to stay in the hotel business. But basically, I was pretty up there in age and we would just like, we could gamble once and do well. But you know, we're a little too old for this. So my, my husband threw me a 60th birthday party, and I decided I wanted to be bought Knutsford and I did it in a year and a half. And when people listen, they said, you should be a rabbi. I said, Are you kidding? I'm not gonna be a rabbi takes five years to go to seminary go to Israel. I found an interfaith seminary and rabbinic seminary studied two and a half years was ordained. And for the last 10 years, I've been officiating interfaith work doing baby namings, counseling and having a ball traveling then COVID happened and everything shut down. So what ended up happening is that my son, I have only one son and he's brilliant and great and close to me. He said, you know, Mom, some of the same skill sets you had in the rabbi world did you ever think of coaching so I said, No, I never really had I enrolled in AIPAC, which is a fabulous coaching school, studied during the pandemic last July for about eight months and, and was certified and really have some nice clients now. And I decided as my niche that it would be my story, helping professional women create a work life balance because that is something I never had any help with. I had to juggle, you know, career husband, son, everything and and I didn't really have much help. So if I could help some some women do this. That's, that's, that's what it is. So Donna Serdula 4:41 some ways it seems like you're kind of going back right? Because, you know, you started out teaching with right in my mind is is helping it's imbuing. It's providing that mentorship and and assistance. From there you made this a huge pain. Have it you know, into real estate well actually not even real estate but but initially into, you know, being that you know, advertising executive but then going into real estate, right, right. But now it seems like you're coming back. It's almost like I want to you know, I want to help people I want to work with people I want people to to grow and bloom and do better be better. Unknown Speaker 5:23 You are so spot on I heart and soul is, is in helping people. And I feel very blessed to be at this point in my life when because I had a business career. I, you know, I can I don't have to totally support myself on my coaching. What is Donna Serdula 5:40 it that you're finding? Like, what's the major difference that women are experiencing now that maybe you didn't experience back when you were in advertising? Unknown Speaker 5:50 Okay, in advertising, I was like one of three women and 200 person office, and it was extremely chauvinistic, and there was no maternity policy. And they were on and on and on. So there was not not support, it went against me. And I guess you could hire like a therapist or a counselor or whatever. But I was just too busy to do anything except keep my head above water, earn money and be a mother and a husband and wife. So the difference today is that Fortunately, there are so many resources, either pro bono, low pay, whatever, there's so much more awareness. And this whole idea of work life balance is just so accepted, not just for women, but for men, because men are taking paternity leaves and doing things. But in my day and age, it's like, you know, you better just show up three months after you have that baby, because you may not have your job. Donna Serdula 6:49 It's it's it is nice to know that there is you know, there is a lot more flexibility now, but at the same time with that flexibility also comes a lot more pressure and so much more, I think in terms of expectations, and I mean, especially now with with not just social media, but just technology as a whole. It's it's this, this always on? Yeah, you know, and that's what's i think is so draining to a lot of people, I think men and women, Unknown Speaker 7:18 I think you're absolutely right, I work with one woman is an executive on the west coast. And I think the idea of time management always keeps coming up, and particularly with remote work. So people are finding that they're working longer hours, because they don't commute back and forth. And there's no end of the day. And did they take a lunch break? And then you know, what do they do? So I think with COVID, and the way things are now, I try to help people just, you know, balance their life, so that they do have a life and they're not giving their work everything or and neglecting their husband or their partner or their child or their their themselves. And usually they are last. So whether it's lack of exercise, or perhaps doing meditation, that would be good, or, and coaching is a very specific, you know, accountability modality, where you're holding people accountable for their actions and saying, you know, what are the specific goals you want to achieve? And how can I have this life? And what am I going to do to get it? And, and it's very gratifying to work with clients for a few months and see where they have been, and, you know, no miracles, but if you know, every little bit, that they have an accountability and they have more peace in their life. I mean, that's, that's the wind for me. Donna Serdula 8:45 Like, when does the person realize that they need to be working with you or someone like you Unknown Speaker 8:50 at three in the morning when they wake up? And it's sweat? It's say, help. I think that, you know, I think that a lot of women put themselves last. So it takes a lot for someone to be over the top and say, You know what, I need help. And and that's a big thing. Because Donna Serdula 9:13 I had never someone had said to me when I had my first son, they said, you know when we say to you always put your your oxygen mask on first before you write. And they said use that metaphor for other things. You know, ology is one where, you know, you need to take care of yourself, because if you're not taking care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else, and that it's so easy to always put yourself last. Unknown Speaker 9:39 That's right, you're absolutely right. So I think, you know, that's kind of a light hearted way of saying it but then basically, I think that it really is important for the person to realize where they are in life and what they want, and they have to have a sense that there's something else out there besides what they're doing. And so if they don't get to that point and say, I need help, but I think there might be another way to get there. That's, that's the good combination. And and the third is that, you know, I'm I am on social media I am posting I am, you know, engaging with people, and it's about repetition. And some, someone might like my posts and connect with me, but they're not ready. But maybe in three months, something happened. And they all of a sudden, are, wow, I'm ready. Now. I think this Gloria Milner, lady, maybe I'll connect with her. So it's a variety things. Donna Serdula 10:47 What does it look like to work with you? I mean, what does that what does that engagement look like when a person says, okay, Gloria, I need help? Unknown Speaker 10:56 Well, first, I would do an introductory call, usually, it's a complimentary session and find out what what what their needs are, what they want to accomplish. And if they are serious, if they do want to do the work, because it's not like you're spoon feeding people, they have to really be accountable and do the work. And then we talk about, usually, if it's once a week, once every other week, usually 4045 minutes. And usually some sort of a commitment two to three months, because nothing happens overnight. So someone has to generally be willing to do to just engage for a few months period to have any changes happen. Let's say stop their life and only work with me for a month. But that's not the way things are. Donna Serdula 11:48 Do you have a coach that you lean on? Or do you have other mentors or influencers that that you're inspired Unknown Speaker 11:54 by? I do I have a number of coaches from my, from AIPAC, who one of the lead trainers, a man who's in Manhattan is someone I lean on, and have talked to and has been very gracious to me. And then a woman who's I think she's based in Tampa, and she runs groups. So it's very important as a coach to be constantly in the mix with other coaches both to share what's going on with you as well as to get guidance. And so I try to work with with people individually to help me and also to be part of a group so that I can hear input and give input. Donna Serdula 12:37 What What is the best advice you've ever received? Unknown Speaker 12:43 I think the best advice is Go for it. Don't wait for it to be perfect. Take the risk. Donna Serdula 12:52 When is the best advice you've ever given? Unknown Speaker 12:58 That's a beautiful question. Be kind and gracious. Donna Serdula 13:03 I like that. I think that's important. Yeah. What person was stuck, and it was time for them to pivot, maybe reinvent themselves? What advice would you give them? What what? What could you say? to a person who just needs to who needs to take a step who needs to move feels stuck? Unknown Speaker 13:26 Yeah, I would say to them, ask for help. Look inside of yourself. See what you think you need. And don't be afraid to ask for help. And go for it. And don't be afraid that you're making a mistake or it's not the perfect thing. I think too many people are waiting for the perfect opportunity or thinking that it's not right now or this or that but nothing's right about life. Everything is imperfect. So I think you have to be willing to take the plunge. Donna Serdula 13:57 Yeah. You know, looking at your your bio, your your husband was a Holocaust survivor. Yeah. How did that fuse you and infuse your reality and what you're coaching today? Because that's such a when there's not that many left? Exactly right. Um, but also is such a, such a harrowing thing to have experienced and lived, you know, to have lived lived through? What What did you learn from him in that experience? Unknown Speaker 14:27 So he was 14 years older than me and thank you for bringing that up. I, I credit him with a lot of my success. And I think that he taught me what life was all about and what the meaning of life is, and to be great granted, what is the meaning of well to just enjoy every day and not take it for granted and realize that you can always be richer and you can always be more powerful, but even the richest people only eat usually one steak a day. And they do go to the bathroom just like you And that to, to just appreciate what every day is. And so living with him was a gift because he, he taught me that and he taught my son that and and he had harrowing horrible experiences. And he was my biggest fan. And when I was unsure, and I'd be at the elevators say, I can't go into advertising, they're gonna fire me Help Help, Gloria, you're gonna do it, you'll be good, great, get in that elevator and work. And, and the same thing with a hotel. So I was very lucky to have him, but very, very lucky to help him because he was he's, he was damaged. Because of that. And right now, I'm reading a book on trauma, because I think PTSD is something that survivors had, and that I was probably able to help him over a period of 30 years, to the point where he became a very pretty mellow guy, and no one would ever have known where he came from if they had met him on the street. Donna Serdula 16:06 Wow, that's a testament to what you're doing. But it also tells me that, you know, from the beginning of the conversation, we said, You started off, you know, helping and working with with kids, I now see it that even as you were living your life within your marriage, you were continuing to coach and mentor and assist and help. Unknown Speaker 16:27 Yeah, the ultimate social work. Donna Serdula 16:30 What do you what are you most proud of? Unknown Speaker 16:33 I think I'm most proud of my son. At this point, I, I think that I could say, you know, the various careers but you know, to raise a child, that's a match in Yiddish, and he's married has two children, and for him to be a good person. And I speak to him every day, and he's really concerned about my well being. That's, that's what it's all about. Donna Serdula 17:00 Thank you so much for talking to us today. Is there one final tidbit you'd like to leave us with? Unknown Speaker 17:06 You know, stay the course Believe in yourself, look within and realize, you know, nothing is forever, either good or bad. So make it happen. Donna Serdula 17:19 Make it happen. Thank you so much, Gloria. Thank you for having me. If a person wanted to reach out and work with you, how would they do that? Unknown Speaker 17:29 GLORIA milner.com is my coaching website and I'm on LinkedIn as well. And you can find all the, the phone numbers there and all of that, so and all on Facebook as well. Awesome. Donna Serdula 17:42 Thank you so much, Gloria. Unknown Speaker 17:43 Thank you. Bye. Good night. Transcribed by https://otter.ai