00:00:01.670 And we're going. To do. I really I love that theme song. Just sit back. Can you hear him. I think I'm getting to be a better singer hurts. I think my voice is really like a rounding out nicely. I don't really either. I need. I need a share that include I have.

00:00:26.670 From Episode 3 The first now recorded No I sing a song down here like I will never sing it now voluntarily at the beginning of that also. Now I used to be a decent singer and then I was a cheerleader and I think it just damaged my vocal chords for a decade and a half. Yeah I really do. And now I'm back. I have a question on this. Let's just stay off topic check writing cheerleading. Yeah. Is that a topic that we would ever do.

00:00:56.090 Or is it too. I. Sorry. I struggle with it being a spark. That's interesting. I'll go with that. It to me it's not a sport. And I have a cousin. That coaches it and I feel bad because I'm just like that's not my sport. I think that could be an interesting topic and people have really strong feelings about it especially with like building and tumbling and stuff because you can now build at Nebraska again fine. Yeah I know because my cousin coaches and I see links sometimes. Yeah I would listen to that.

00:01:26.040 Yes. OK well maybe we'll we'll get your cause and pursue it. Well just get your cousin in here in rigor over and I can just be like listen. Tell me why are cheerleading cheerleading did give me one very valuable life skill which is the high kick which I still can do. Got the highlight of my day. Like do you do you guard about why they get extra embarrassing. It's like Taylor Swift.

00:01:56.760 And there's like flow a fabulous dress with your leg up in the air. She's like sorry I saw this. And wondered Can I do that. I'm next picture. Turns out I can. I just like laughing out loud by myself. So you're like well posted on the inside on Instagram with this side by side view. Yeah. Yeah yeah. I'll make a local lodge I yes that will be humiliating. Honestly I'm kind of proud of it. I tried.

00:02:25.660 My mom's like can you know. But I was like See I can not get a high kick and that was pretty good but like I didn't know I could make it look I mean it doesn't look like there should be which are bad. We should be like poster had kids. Yeah. Yes. Let art. Flood our social media. You attempting DRC and Taylor is hiking these DRC and Taylor take my brother's name Taylor would you get my brother Taylor did you go to Africa when you say DRC and Taylor I'm like that but that's just who I was growing up with DRC and Taylor.

00:02:56.700 I mean how many brush lights does it take for Taylor to do. Oh Taylor Tyler do I care. I don't about Tyler but Taylor would take like five. Oh well that's one that many we're going afford that that's in the budget right. Yeah. All right. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. If he's only a good day probably fewer. OK. OK. Well we'll do a poster High Kick Push. That has nothing to do with what kind of podcast we are. You know concert. Yeah. You're listening to no concept podcast.

00:03:25.090 And each week we explore a topic from our home base here in central Nebraska a topic of which we know very little about something we have no concept of. Yeah and what we do is we bring in a guest who will be here in a few minutes and have him or her in this case again her mostly her but occasionally him. Tell us a little bit about this topic and teach us a little something we need to know. But we always start out with something that Katie and I learned this week say that you know we're not complete dunces before we get into what we don't know.

00:04:01.720 So Katie what did you learn this week. I learned relearned how to use a miter saw. And like a table saw oh did all kinds of woodworking yesterday you did like a once a day. Yeah I'm with my dad and he has a pretty elaborate setup in the garage. Yeah I didn't really realize how much he has set up any has all these like crazy attachments that he's custom built to go on like two guides and things like we're gonna do something he's like Oh let me get this out and then he's got what did he call it.

00:04:37.660 A slide something they push on that and then it makes it smooth better and I don't know all these things. So we're working on that. My friend's grandma died this spring and this woman had totes and totes and totes of jewelry. And so we just sorted through and like like this tote is necklaces this tote his rings this one is bracelets. I mean it just so much stuff.

00:05:04.000 And as we're doing it way Nikki and I kept joking and like toying around about like we should do something with all of this. And then we looked and there's like a lot of things you can do with jewelry on Pinterest like jewelry art and things like that. So we kind of kept a lot of it with the intention of doing that. And then we made two pieces and it was so time intensive to sell anything like that to make it worth it it had to be like please give me a hundred dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Seven hours on it.

00:05:32.780 And also took this in supplies and artisanal jewelry making is a tough endeavor Yeah. So now we're changing it and we're doing more like the. Oh you know like the quote boards it'll be like Let's like the cheesy live love love the Marilyn Monroe like oh I had to let me get my worst sheet you know like yep so anyways something like that but then with like a little flourish of jewelry on it as a design rather than a flower painting or something that's all.

00:05:59.570 So yeah we built some frame and some just like Blackie looking things through. But so we learned we kind of master our way through making the frame yesterday. Yeah. Because my dad's method is just like trial and error and I was like we should be able to do this. Yeah it's nine inches then this should be this long because the goal is this. Yeah. And we did it it didn't work exactly but it's a lot better when we started from a math standpoint that's good.

00:06:28.010 So I have a concept of math good done animator says and miter saw. So OK now tell us what you learned from Scooter's motors is my nightmare. Jo Jo knows she gets it. Yeah she's upset or so. I adore quitters. I go to school there's way too much for coffee. There's a new scooters in Holden Nebraska. I got there a lot. If I say to you I want a skinny vanilla latte.

00:06:59.440 What does that mean sugar free skim milk latte. Yeah if I say to scooters I want to get even know what to do in a museum. Only because you told me 20 minutes ago that I know I might it nonfat milk only if I wanted a day order a nonfat latte if I want sugar free fat free. I would order a skinny latte. Yes. No at scooters you have to order a super skinny lock to get it.

00:07:30.570 So they make me all these extra sugar. What. Yeah somewhere. Oh it's humiliating. Is this to you in a merely eating I'd like man super skinny. I take a large iced. Super skinny vanilla latte please and they go Yeah. With an extra shot they'll be great thanks. It's horrible. It's horrible. It is a skinny melodic you know so much better and it's just insulting to my intelligence because if I wanted a nonfat latte I would say nonfat got it right.

00:08:01.070 There's a word for it. It's called nonfat. What's the point of calling an outlet a skinny latte. It's one thing. It's not like a multi ordered shorthand right. I feel like. In the coffee world skinny means cut the sugar cut the fat. Yeah like that's it. Yes this has been plaguing me for literally two months I've asked every other coffee shop I've gone through ever. What does it mean. If I were a skinny latte. What does I get. It's the same thing everywhere else. It just scooters is mind blowing that scooters were just as like you know we're going to change that car.

00:08:32.080 We're not going to do what everyone else does on this one stupid thing. I think they're trying to trick people. I think you're like normally doing your order like all of us get even a latte and you get like this is so much better than all the other ones because of all the shows it's got sugar in it. Great sugar 18 grams of sugar judges vinegar. Sorry. Anyone works at scooters please let me know why this is your policy. Really. Email us please. No contact pop at gmail dot com.

00:09:02.530 Why is it a super skinny and do you realize that that's dumb. It's redundant. Yeah you like the scooters but I love your coffee. We love you anyways but we question. This. Yeah right. And on that horrible no Segway note there is no way of Segway ing it into what we're going to talk about. Yeah so our podcast takes place in central Nebraska.

00:09:32.560 This is a fact. What would you say the one thing that all our guests so far have in common is one thing that they all have in common. Yeah I mean they all live in central Nebraska now I can't come up with it. I don't know. See this is the type of living in central Nebraska.

00:10:01.680 They all represent a certain racial ethnic group. They're all Caucasian. They are until Whitey. All white people so far. Yeah I think we have to get used to where we're at. I get it. I think you better be comfortable saying Whitey. Yeah. We've only talked to white people so far which is partially a product of where we're based.

00:10:26.430 I would say than national averages are not reflected as clearly here in terms of race. And again I haven't even Wikipedia this here check the census data or anything but you know it's a pretty predominantly white area right. So the perspective. On race is kind of the conversation on race is kind of neglected in a lot of our topics right.

00:10:52.880 Not that any of them have been race specific but it's just we're all operating from the same point of view right. Our guest today has a different point of view. If you hadn't guessed it she is a different ethnicity. She and we'll have to see what she prefers to be called is an African-American woman. She a person of color. She's black. I don't know. Whichever version she cares to be addressed as she didn't grow up here.

00:11:22.440 But she does live here and she met her husband who is a farmer in Aurora Nebraska. While she was working as a stewardess. That's a big adjustment. Yeah. And she's you know always growing up in an urban city center Denver and San Diego. I think we'll double check with her. But to jump into a roar in Nebraska where I believe she may be the literal only black person in town in a town of a few thousand.

00:11:55.990 Yeah actually that makes me. I just had to pull it up because I just read this article yesterday about a customer. Cost account. Colonel Custer County Supervisor voices his perceived racial concerns. Did you see this now. It was terrible terrible terrible terrible. Hate it from the headline so he is like straight quotes whereas Custer County that's like Broken Bow for County that's where everyone says people from Fort Can I can't drive.

00:12:25.680 Broken Bell ends Lee said just north of me like my brother now lives in Custer County. Got it. OK. Basically if you see anyone zooming down the road at like 90 miles an hour they're probably four county plates. That's like they. Like somebody standing in his way. There must be a county area. I think I've heard it from a lot of people that I don't know. Yeah it comes up I'm like that's a thing. Yeah I'm funny. But I can't find the quotes here.

00:12:56.550 But here it is. I would like to express we do not need any more illegal immigrants in Custer County. That's one of his quotes that he like intentionally says I like you here. I think everyone would he says from his house. I've been to Custer County and my it. It's fine. My brother has a nice life there but he's not like keep those. I can't even say the words I know right now.

00:13:28.060 It's so terrible. Doesn't take me long to drive around there. OK look at Lexington Nebraska. Doesn't take me long to drive around there. Whether they're legal or not I don't like what I see too many of them and I like what I see here. He told ion TV Oh he said this to the news how fucking unsettling is it that he feels comfortable saying that so bad. It's so bad.

00:13:55.570 I don't like what I see whether they're legal or not. So they don't look how he wants them to look. God I just love it. It's just awful. And then it says he's undeterred just as he shows contempt for the legal system. He also has like a warrant out for him because of some stupid driving thing. But he thinks he's above that classic. Yeah.

00:14:24.460 They can think I'm crazy if they want but I'm not too far off. All right. So I can't imagine being up against that in your daily life. No I mean yeah. I don't know how to put my own experience in context of this because it's not even remotely. There's nothing even remotely the same. When I was in high school I was on the boys golf team. Yeah.

00:14:53.810 Primarily because it was fun. Yeah. Not because I was good at golf right. So and there's no girls golf team right. We didn't have one so you could be on the boys. Yeah. So there was I wasn't good enough to go to the tournaments. Yeah there is one where like the whole team went every year. And that's the only situation that I can even somewhat compare because there was two girls I think there. I don't even know if the other girl that there was three girls on our golf team but I think the other one didn't. I don't know in my mind there was two of us girls their.

00:15:24.160 Total. And like eighty eyes. And maybe not that many but that is how it felt. And everywhere I went I knew that everyone knew exactly where I was and what I was doing. And people would be like oh you're that girl. I mean like. It fell so hard everything was hard. Yeah. Because everyone's eyes were on you the whole time. Yeah. And I kept thinking even as a you know like 17 year old I kept thinking I bet this is what it's like to be.

00:15:54.120 A different race in Nebraska. Because that would be your life. Yeah. It's just an immediate recognized ability. Yes. Because you do look different. Yeah. Right. And then everything that comes with that. All everybody else's shit that comes with that. And at least like for me in that situation it wasn't like I was dealing with people saying like well I guess a little bit like Oh people hate women because they're women. That's true. I'm not going to be as good.

00:16:23.340 But I wasn't as good. Like I wasn't trying to fight any stereotypes because I wasn't a good girl. No you're just that you know. Yes. But I didn't have to do that. And also I had the luxury of like we drove away from that golf course. And I was no longer than you get to go back. I was the exact same like Zune. It was so situational. Yeah. And I can't imagine that being your life it was trying it on for a day. Right. Yeah right. Sure. Six hours of awkward.

00:16:53.400 Yeah. Instead of like a life of just feeling like everyone's watching you always. Now. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah I think so too. So we'll see what he has to say. All right. So we are here with our guests where we recorded. Yeah. I just had it on. I love. I really loved it. So I just let it go. Now I'm guessing is like just throwing a lot of stuff in the middle of things.

00:17:24.650 Oh you can't use. She has to cut it. Does taking time. Yeah. In New Day. Yeah. So what we do in this podcast is we ask people about subjects we just have no concept about. OK. And sometimes that kind of takes the form of like a personal narrative which is where I think we'll go with you. Here's a little bit. Yeah. And sometimes it's more literal like What the hell is Reiki. You know I mean so that's kind of that's the gist of what we do we are aware of what people of color. Well we have actually we have to color cover that. OK. Right. Jack what what's your chosen your pronouns.

00:17:55.090 What's the assembly areas. Because you know living in an all white town. I work at the local hospital here. I'm a bottom East. And. When someone's trying to describe me if I'm not working that day like oh they can't see these East clear nominee or the saying you know who is that girl here. Oh God knows exactly what you do and yes you keep it going. Oh I don't know. And then finally they really are talking desperate. Like an outfit greatly.

00:18:26.080 A man you identified this guy was a to was for them. I've always wondered if there is a deep seated. Is it fear. Like yeah. I think. I think it you all call me black. I made. The wrong thing. Yeah. Yeah I think that. Or like I don't know that. There's an that's something it's ridiculous. It's like are you going to come out and be like wait I'm black. Why are you going to me in this manner.

00:18:53.850 I knew I was Kyra blind. Well it was a shadow. We had a portly atheist catch that is that it's like it's like she she Portland boutique and like the super like politically correct person is like trying to be like which person helped you. So I can give them commission on the clothes I like. Well she had kind of like braid jeans on. It's like everyone like you think they're doing everything to not say it's so funny you get so over the top because like everything is so I feel like hypersensitive now you've kind of taken away just.

00:19:27.430 The basic words that you write identify somebody and I'm black. Yeah. Right. May say that we are you know and then sometimes you over buffer it too and you're like African-American women of color back there. Yeah. Is that right. I never described to me after I leave there I'm like oh that Caucasian woman like that. It's not that it's OK for me and I'm always a for me. You can say yeah. I am.

00:19:56.170 I feel like with the Afro I feel like what I like people are like oh it's the big blond girl you know. I mean I'm not even blond anymore but I feel like that. Oh yeah she's like the big person. You look great. You know it's. I might take that I might take the White girl. It's mostly German I think. I don't know but over here if you're going to have to be more specific. Charges daycare they play outside a lot now. They all have tans and they all.

00:20:25.090 It's like you know 40 kids and they're all a certain tan and they're all blue hot blonde blonde blonde blonde kids it's still wild. I see him walking in a row and I'm like Is this the Aryan race. Like I don't know I went to Iowa this weekend and we went to go see last podcast on the web. Oh yeah. And Dutch really you notice and here why people I was like oh there's like no that's called a Monday.

00:20:54.950 I know it's about what it all looks like around all of the days that we all do. Yes light is light variation first. I mean get out of here. CALLER Yeah that's right. So are you the only person of color in Aurora. Female Yes. Yeah I think there are some black men here. I seem to almost two years I've been here. Yeah but.

00:21:22.810 It's a it's the Big Foot sighting. Yeah. They're not going to get away with anything. No. People you like. No I'm not sure who it. Why did have very long braids and now are a short so that you could pass as the man if you could you are in the shadow of the tower at night time yes full outfit bulkier clothes. Yeah yeah yeah. So you see the key. Yes I mean as far as I know I'm the only African-American in this town.

00:21:51.650 You know what. The hair is an interesting question cause your hair was very different the last time I saw you. Do you have to do your own hair did you go somewhere else. So I would. Have my husband do it now. Yeah it's a little West African shop called Coco's African breeding. And we like to plug hair but I guess we end up doing that. So they're always out OK. And you walk into like I know and they just do it takes hours but yeah it was just time to go natural but it just it confuses people and they're like what happened I mean rightfully so.

00:22:25.360 Was very very long. Looks braided so it looks like I could break my hair because your hair was people. So your hair was much longer as well. Sure yeah. Which is normal which is more meaningful there. Yes. But the hair extension so it's that's a whole new thing of explaining weeds and grey a whole robot. All right Dan relaxers and natural and fro and you know head rapping and cornrows and yeah. So it is I feel like I'm on repeat a lot now just explaining things over and over again to people.

00:22:56.890 Does it feel a little odd to you this is like maybe an easy way to get delve into this world. So I have some friends. One specifically I can think of right now that has done a weave. Yeah just because she wanted longer hair yeah like does that feel cultural appropriation or is it just like I think just black women in general I wouldn't even say black. Even the men we're just very into her hair. It's just something that's been deeply rooted into our culture.

00:23:26.260 You know you even go back to Africa there's still braiding here they're doing a Bantu twist they're not there's it's just we're always our hands are always in her hair not in our hair our neighbors like her right. It's always something that we do. And the funny thing is why women do it too. You know there's there's hair extensions like crazy. We see it just I think ours is so different because it goes from really curly hair to bone straight ahead. So dramatic transformation Madagascar Asian eyes is just getting some kind of Jessica Simpson clip and wavy hair.

00:23:58.060 All right. And it's all day process. You know we have to thing you know I told my husband while we were dating that you know in our budget this will always be in our budget. I hear a thing will never ever go away we're gonna spend some money right on my hair and it's just and it's not like I'm extravagant thing that you can get right. No no no. I'm going nuts for her. Why would you save me boatloads. But.

00:24:25.940 But if you decided tomorrow that you wanted to do more you're going to spend there either way to go into yeah yeah. It's just something that I need and just something that I like and I love that. Like what is it talky ballpark for that one day one day so box spreads in Omaha is one hundred and eighty that will last about three months. OK. Now when I was living in San Diego I have a hundred dollar ads but the thing is when you buy that hair it's expensive hair and you can read if you're taking care of it you can use it again.

00:24:56.830 OK. So they'll wash that clean it does so the tracking takes a long time. The braiding takes a while. I mean it's not the upfront cost can be more if you do have maintenance than it then you can keep it keep way only reference clueless on this podcast. And I think where I learned about about black women's hair I believe like yeah OK yeah I'm out of here. I just thought that. Somehow clueless does keep piling up. That's how it is.

00:25:24.880 I had actually we weren't we were moving reviewing careless. Yeah well obviously I like other movies occasionally. I mean really. Yeah. But my husband is kind of he is he's very into like he's very into the blackness of my hair. So you know he is all about the Afro right. He loves it. I like it. But back in again I'm just like I have not gone natural. I don't know how long.

00:25:54.190 So I'm just frantically looking up you know YouTube videos and it is going natural is kind of the thing right now and it's just a lot of care. And I have to get up earlier. Oh really. Yes I guess so because. Yeah it just you know used to wrap it up at night and you can't really have the pillow laying next to it because the wreaking damage your hair it's all thing. And then if you live in like Aurora they have very hard water. So there's another call. He's doing extra water Suzanne. Yeah. Well good night. It's great.

00:26:24.740 Yeah. And how does John like to be referred to as Caucasian or why or you don't know what he does. America is active. Oh yes the question is like. He gets very dark. What's that. How do people on the summary get started. It's very very dark. He has very high cheekbones. He likes to think as a self as Native American. I roll my eyes. But we don't know what he is. So I can't really say anything I would say is he has a Spaniard. There's yeah there's found some Latin roots there.

00:26:54.980 It's very hairless. So he couldn't be Native American. I don't know. We did that with we did this. He will be excited that we're talking. He will. Yeah. Hey it's just smooth sailing. Yeah I mean often on like GI John seems like a special wonderful human being. Did he look like a homeless person when you first on.

00:27:23.300 No but you know he looks like like loose and free and fun. He's fancy free. Seems easy. He's he's very easy. Yeah. Nice quality though. So he would get the question where people are like where where's your. Where do you originate from within. Oh yeah. Well you use one box and put him in his other other the other people just ask that. Right. Probably because no one asked him because they know him quite well in this town you know he's.

00:27:51.260 His parents are very German blond haired blue eyed and complete opposite. I mean that's a very loud very energetic huh. Just. Yeah. Yeah yeah. The wildcard is which is how he got you hearing them right. Yes. Tell us about. Oh yes. How so how did you end up in Aurora. Because it's weird. As a young child you're like someday Missouri or Nebraska. The flatland. Yeah.

00:28:18.720 That's why I went up to a small town from a bigger place. Yeah I think that's hard for any. That's why I'm here with seven restaurants and that most drives one stoplight. Yeah. Yeah. Well originally I'm from my city California which is a small farm town anyway but it's it's produce. But then we moved about 12 13 to Colorado Springs so that's much bigger and I'm going to rewind that story just a little bit because I had come to Husker harvest days.

00:28:48.320 I was working. And that's when you. Got the dream. That was like I will never Askar ever again. I never. And this was two years I did it because I followed the auto circuit. Oh yeah. Yes. I have a friend that does that. Yeah. Yeah. Does shows interact. Yeah. Yeah. So we did a two year zero. John would go every single year. Didn't see him whatever so I was a flight attendant.

00:29:16.230 And John was flying from Las Vegas to Nashville and he wasn't supposed to be on that flight. Neither was I. I've got to be a party flight right. Well he was rock climbing. He's not into the party scene at all. So he's rock climbing with his brother and his best friend. I got called that last minute dead headed and we had met on the flight. So. He said he knows. I didn't notice him at all because it's kind of you know you're funny right. Or you see a lot of people.

00:29:46.280 Yeah. So I made a joke. We were we were taxiing off. And my lady that was giving you announcements was unbelievably slow. And I think she was from Kenya but she was we were too. I mean we have a short time to do these announcements. Get your seat free takeoff. Oh yeah. And she is going and you put your seat belt in to the bucko. I looked down at this passenger was like Is this not the slowest ever.

00:30:18.980 She laughs couple people here laugh and that's what he said he saw me and he said he looked up. He's like Right he was with his brother like Riley. Oh my gosh this girl is beautiful. And Riley's playing his video game he's like Yeah you should get a number. And goes back. Let's fast forward through service. I still don't notice him. Service is done. I'm sitting in the back playing on my phone and he comes up to me and he says Excuse me can I tell you something. And I look up I was like nope.

00:30:47.180 Whose joke was it. No I'm kidding. I said What do you need. He said. You've the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Oh. Done. Yeah. You're like oh I love all the things you get a pack I like oh I got a big thank you. Yeah standup is like my name's easement. His name's John. We talk a little bit. The seatbelt gets back on I'm right back into slides in a minute. Right. You need to go sit down now. You got this is your confidence booster because you're just gonna move on. Have a good idea.

00:31:17.000 So then I go back as a kid this guy is actually really cute. So I give him a beer. Yeah I think I charge his brother for the beer. And did you call a cop. John apparently I love my way of learning. So you're telling me I should flirt with the flight attendant. I reply I indicated if I take you away from this wag you have a nice life that you pay attention. Don't be a dick and it'll all work out for. Things are gonna work out. I mean that's good advice for life. I mean I gotta pay attention.

00:31:46.700 Don't be a dick today. That's life. Ladies get a free buy. Maybe get a free beer but it really so he. I think he starts we start talking a little bit and I'm asking about natural I said Oh I've never been to Nashville. Right when I say that. A guy behind me goes oh I'll tell you all you need to know. I interrupt this flirtation that's going on to man's plane yeah you know I've been to Nashville in Nashville that's like OK and John's like I guess he'll tell you that.

00:32:22.160 So I go back right. Hi. I never told John this but this guy gave me his number as well. So in Nashville the knowledgeable about how you need someone to show you around. I am your guy. So time goes forward. I'm back and forth and I remember being back in the galley and John like turns back to the back. Holds up a cell phone Jason smiles. I like OK. So I put my number in his phone and I said. You better use it.

00:32:53.320 Yeah we don't. He said he looked back at me and I was I wasn't paying attention. So he gets off on the plane leaves. This is March 1st that we met and I'm finishing my flight to go off to St. Croix for my birthday. Huh. Time goes on. It's my birthday is March 3rd. March 5th. I get an email a very long email. I listen I answered the phone. Yeah we're going to find this. I'm going to find it.

00:33:21.790 I know I've saved it because yeah if you got your email not your phone number. No I gave him my phone number. Oh yes. This story is about to take says a niece. So this is potentially embarrassing but here we go. I tried calling you today but got a hold of an older confused lady if you intentionally gave me a fake number. There is no problem and feel no obligation to respond to this. However if there was a mistake and this is what I'm asking the gods old and new.

00:33:51.570 Perhaps you could respond and give me your real number or I can give you mine if that would make you less awkward. Also yes my little brother found your email for me. Sorry for the creepiness I thought it was worth the risk. I would love to call you will get to know you. I really meant what I said you truly have the most beautiful smile. I was intrigued immediately anyway if you'd rather not talk don't let me down easy. You could tell me to go to hell. I will not bother you again. Ha. Is that the most perfect email you've ever read. Oh OK. So you're like this is it.

00:34:21.540 And move in while I wake up. Wake up still drunk from the night. Yeah. I'm saying cry. I'm with names like John. I mean a couple I like to let you know who's where. Yeah. It's like oh my gosh. Email them back is like I am so sorry. I was one digit off yeah. And you met your number neighbor or whatever. Some older lady. Yeah some Hispanic.

00:34:51.180 He he's like I've been an bastard. I know. Oh hi. No no no. I could show you around. So I call him back. He's like a niece. And we just laugh for about a little bit and a half. I am so sorry. Yeah. So I said Well I'm about to head back to the states. Can I call you and get back into town fly back into Denver. And then we talk for about another month and he drives down and we have our first date.

00:35:18.800 Oh and that was it did long distance for a while and it was actually very short dating scene. Yeah that's how we work. Yeah. Yeah. And how old were you guys when you met each other. I was 34. He was 32. Yeah. Yeah. You're ready to. You're ready to pull the plug on it. We're both in there. Yeah. There is no. It just was it was so good. You've seen what is out there and they're not right.

00:35:46.170 Emails like that the nation. Oh. I don't understand. There's another life lesson like spell out the words small. It's perfect and this is comma and period and maybe every now and then a semicolon he's warmer is to a fault to me let's just say yeah like that. That doesn't OK. Look it was while we were dating. I had to spend it like a little over a homeschooled kid. Oh yeah.

00:36:16.150 Oh my God. So he's a little weird. No it was the diarrhea. The jokes are abound like yeah I'm set for life home school jokes you've got him but he's extremely just well-bred and just well-spoken. Yeah. Now that's true. You're like always a leg up if he disagrees about something like socially if you feel like you're homeschooled. Well you don't know. Did you even go to prom. Right. It's you and your mom having a prom night here for her friends for their bachelor bachelorette party.

00:36:46.450 Oh that's fine. Having an 80s prom night so you can go to prom and he's a prom either perfect done isn't it and that is the 30th birthday. OK fine. Cool. So fast forward and I'm here. You're here in two years we'll be married two years in the 21st and December last year. So you've been here for the entirety of two year two ish year ish years. What was the biggest learning curve when you got here.

00:37:17.450 I have weird things like I was right directions. Yeah. Everything is so flat. You know at least in Colorado the mountains were West minus streets. Yeah. And you're like you know you go north three mile. What was your high. It's just flat everywhere. So just let me know when you because we have. When he's farming is he's everywhere and it's not just one area that he's in to find the fields and things. Are they called crazy things like the baker play.

00:37:44.420 Yeah and the guts play. It's a real farm. Like how am I supposed to know what that is. Yeah. Fortieth. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Do me a favor. Drop me a pen. Yeah yeah. I grew up on a farm and they refer to those places like that. I still know what the fuck place says. I know that people would be like Oh the old blank place. Yeah. You're like game no. A birthday card. What are you talking about. I don't know anyone with that last name. No. Yeah. They haven't lived there. So like why would I know this if they moved out in 1967.

00:38:15.090 What I honor where I hate wherever there is reason and the freezing is very common last name or and in Henderson. So is he from Henderson. I mean sure. Yeah. Yeah. Why not. Why not. You know. You know against the. Do you know his cousin. Yes. We had dinner last night we did a wailing time. OK so you would love here in Aurora. We're serious about our board games.

00:38:45.560 Oh are you. Is a game down. Oh the game is if this is what getting older is all about. I am all. I want a game night. So team play bad. I know you guys have to come. We can start a game now and you need to step back and we'd have to make other friends here. I think we need to come one time and come. What we want to do it was like a full on flow. Here's what Aurora also does better than others. They're always trying to recruit me here to live here. Like you I think you should just move there misses.

00:39:15.440 Yeah. She's good. Yeah. She has a light show about me and party. Yeah I mean she is. So I think with my first time visiting John here and Mitchell as Sarah and John have all been friends since before high school I think so we go up to their apartment and Sarah opens the door she goes. Is your first interact interaction with Sarah and is like love or can you do get kind of nervous I'm OK now coming into his face right.

00:39:47.900 Yeah. And do it all into like what this is gonna be like. You know I'm not even kidding she has been the best person to welcome me here in this town. You know what an incredible icebreaker. I told her as I go. I told her this. The last time as far as I we're never getting divorced but if we get a divorce. You guys are. Yeah I'm fine. He's known you longer but you're gay. Yeah. We're never getting a divorce. I should mention that I know Annie's through her YouTube show which I still do.

00:40:18.470 Now take him on a hiatus. MITCHELL Let's go dude. What is it. What was it about the numbering company show. So we would. Review movies and we'd have guests as you review clueless. We did. Yes. Yes. And we'd have the guest talk about what their upcoming thing is and yeah it was it was fun. It was a lot of fun. Very quirky. Mitchell did an amazing amazing job. But yeah he's gonna do a gig. A job. Do something. Yeah.

00:40:49.070 Yeah. I mean oh I do wish I had the you know I watched the movie and if I get I set it in like so it was tough. I can only imagine was writing a script and the editing they do was insane. Yeah. Yeah. Add to that punchy too the editing is tough. I. I definitely don't blame them but I would like him to use him to be a movie person based on the posters and your what.

00:41:20.380 I have a hard time with being a bit behind on some of the cultural stuff after being in a bigger city and then being here. I feel like you like the movies that come to Oxford come a month after they go out. You know I mean you're a little closer to Lincoln Omaha than we are but I'm always a step behind and I think I've always been that way which is OK. Yeah. So I don't feel no difference there is not one difference. I never really lagging in my mind.

00:41:48.400 So you know when jump zone is like you know we're gonna go downtown. Don't you mean down the street. Oh yeah. But when it comes to the movies that come here they do come here later. But you really think about it. They charge. What less than five do. Oh yeah. It's so yeah. And then you kind of come to that consulate. Why was I spending this much money to go see a movie about a candy is 50 cents. Yeah my 18 dollar Arclight ticket. You take your whole family for 20 bucks and that wouldn't say it. Two of you in now.

00:42:16.990 Yeah I am taking my kids sixty dollars. That's just to get in the movie right. And do you think you're gonna want popcorn. Of course they do. Because I know that every day anybody's. By the time it's getting so it's always small things that you were that you really like about small town that you. Thought you would miss about living in the city. Yeah I'm just going to like what ever we go back and forth to Colorado a lot of traffic is my newest pet peeve always. It always has been. Yeah. I've lost all tolerance for traffic whatsoever. Yeah. One that's a young person's game.

00:42:47.540 I like it. I'm all Yeah. Her sing I'm like what is happening. That's drastic. You became a geriatric spot down I immediately said I was gonna snuggle up and drink some tea. I'm here to ask guys so when your kids come out. How old are your kids. So I have a 10 year old girl 13 year old boy 17 year old girl 19 year old girl. My 19 year old lives here she lives in Grand Island.

00:43:16.510 It was a major culture shock. You know what. I can't say I didn't love it here and back and forth. Yeah they really do because they get to go back and forth so they get to kind of like get away from the hustle and bustle get away from the overcrowded miss and kind of get some one on one time with your friend and with their parents and it is I. Every now and then I'll make a joke. Yeah but for the most part they really dig it because it's a whole new like Jon driving tractors and then seeing. Yeah.

00:43:46.270 Kids do love a farm. Any kid loves a farm. Honestly I love it. Like I'll go out and harvest time planting time. Just go out list a podcast or bring him food and yeah. It's really nice. I was very surprised how much I actually adhered to this life. It goes with his. You know he's gone. Yes. You know I go. From did I really know what I was getting into hearing a farmer and to solve these like all alone times like harvest when they're not getting until they got well after dark.

00:44:17.940 Yeah. Here's the thing. Exactly. I was not here to try it for me and why I would hesitate to maybe marry a farmer would be the idea that you're never going to move. This is where you live is it. Yeah I can move on to the country right. I mean I could move to Lincoln. His dad lives in Lincoln but he'll drive in but it's. Like I've lived in New York. Lived in San Diego. I do like this life out here. I like the solitude. I would told you about the country. You like owning a house. Yeah.

00:44:47.670 They sell a house. But seven House chickens. Oh that little thing and you know I lived in a hermit van like the house of a backyard. The backyard is the one that trips me out always. I always go to my backyard and I cook. Why do I have this much say such a little thing. It's like a park in my house. Like it's had furniture. We are white now. You don't have a bridge. I don't have a friends and I were talking about earlier these litmus tests for a good part is whether it has a bridge or not. And I said there are a park had a bridge as like kind good places great leg at the McDonald's corner.

00:45:19.350 Ross if you're listening for Christmas I tell you kind of how these might be. Oh yeah yeah yeah. It's just gonna be just any bridge golf kind of road is a tiny tiny little like a koi pond. But like. Figuring. Well this is the the story is going. We are so we live at a geriatric neighborhood. Our neighborhood is grandparents right. And so we have the neighborhood block party every year.

00:45:48.150 And we go show our baby to all the grandparents. And that's what we do. And it's fine and everybody brings a covered dish but we hadn't we met this couple that lives on our street and I was like oh you have the garden like you've got this beautiful little secret garden that's like not walled. But it's very enclosed we get little peeks and she's got like like bus Senate. Like there's little statues in the garden. Yeah there's a grotto. No I I don't know. But she's like oh yeah you guys have to come look sometime bring the baby.

00:46:18.300 She's like oh I've got a coy pond. And I was like That's right. I love it. I'll click on it. She's like Oh no no no. She's like never ever ever let the baby come over to the koi pond by themselves because I worry every day I'm going to go out there and see some kid and my koi pond like upside down. He went on to a lot of and I was like she's not on her own. Hey. She said I'm like is this core koi pond worth it if you're worried about drowned dead kids in your backyard you wait a day. Scary.

00:46:47.610 I know what an idea that would allow. Hop over. I know it's a little advance little you know I like to invest in some sort of safety precaution. So you're not worried every day. I mean how much pleasure out of the quick buy must you be getting to keep it that way it makes you that unsettled. I don't know. She does it every day. But certainly it's her husband's koi pond. I also love you. She does. I don't feel that full of concrete. I just take all the coins. It's I get where she's coming from an open pond in a backyard when there are children living in the backyard is a defense backyard.

00:47:20.010 It's not a fence but it is hard to get in there. It's not like super accessible. I didn't know she had a quite pond back Larry. I haven't an aunt uncle that I have a huge underground pool huh. And I sometimes get weird like if I have my nieces and nephews on my side. I thought you know like we have to lecture. And it happened really quickly but there is a like it's a hotel size. Yeah yeah. Well I mean there's some real value to that. Yeah. Like they get fun and enjoyment out of this pool. Koi pond.

00:47:50.690 I mean just like you have a nice picture. Yeah. The other day I don't know it's a wrap on the boy. I use it feeder. Yeah nobody drowned. Chicken Hatch Yeah. Coop. Chicken Coop. You know this little rabbit hutch rules to eat on. Yeah. What about just like a fountain it. There's lovely pools of water at the bottom. Yeah. Lovely. They get listeners. I'm making a circle. Thank you. That it's going to be eating what's that.

00:48:20.460 I don't know anything any kind of infinity fountain thing. Yeah. And picturing like a Joey Tribbiani water a fancy house. Yeah. No one drowned in that fake rainy window. Goldfish got stuck. You know you could put a fish in there. You can. So that's our pond. Let's think what else.

00:48:48.060 Well we talking a lot about other things we haven't talked a lot about what it's actually like to be a black woman in Nebraska. You know it goes with its ups and I think a lot of it more is in my head when you're the only one there are you just starting to think a lot of. So our first date John and I was to see get out. Oh I wouldn't recommend that for the first interracial dating. I've dated white men before. Yeah I knew the game.

00:49:18.150 This is jogs first. So Hugh I'm not even he was writhing in pain. That's. Almost like what's this. This is not even a fight. I'm not to a fight. We kind of got into excess ask him some heavy questions. Because fairly fair. If I'm going to move here these are questions that I'm going to have. There is a person that drives around with a confederate flag you know and it's just it's a thing here. What happens. You know part of our history is part of our history.

00:49:48.350 What do we know about your history in Nebraska. Nebraska had no stake in the game. There's no reason to have a stake it wasn't the confederate. Yeah just be very clear here. Yeah there's one reason you're waiving her right. Yeah. And it isn't. It's not history. It's not history. So you're not a diehard even David McCullough.

00:50:13.620 Ever Love a camera a area in the way that doesn't seem like the moon at all but just a lot of hard hitting questions. What would happen if just let's say the N word comes about or D or if I'm the only one here. Sort it's like someone's not thinking this yeah. What are you doing here. What are you doing here.

00:50:44.820 I don't know what. So we went back to the fight. We talked about you know I had to make sure before I even made this next up of dating you if something would happen that you were on my side first. Like I don't I don't need you to try to cool or just try to be on your flight. They didn't mean it this way. No no I want to know. You need to be with me. Yeah he is. And if it's if it offends you then it doesn't mean that he doesn't need to stand up for Jennifer. Yeah right. Yeah. So he doesn't even know me to know why.

00:51:11.020 If I just said it is like to the person who's experiencing it. Way or I want to leave. I want to go. Yeah. He is very in tune with his wife. He always is on my side so I've never had to worry. After that well after we had that moment of that time. Every now. No. We still have those talks or steps on the news or police brutality or we get heavy into it. I don't always like the answer he gives but he is always on my side. Like in this house he is allowed to say yeah you know even outside of this.

00:51:42.420 But I just know my husband is on my side no matter what. So that that was the biggest thing about living here. I will move here. I will take it on. I just need to know that you have my back. I am taking it on as an interesting way to put it because do you feel like you're responsible for teaching people to a degree. Is that part of your life. I'm taking that on. It always is just coming into the grocery store what an extra fucking effort. Honestly like it's like you have to get to know me to be like Hey how are you.

00:52:12.780 There's nothing that I want from you. Just ring me up and let me get out of the store. Now it's felt like I was like Hey how you know it is a breeze living here. But it took. Months. And maybe this is in my own head again. But it took a long time really. No I'm fine. You're OK. Don't clutch your pearls too hard. We're going to be just I'm here for a reason or reason and then it has to be like throwing my last name around like it just this stupid thing of. Yeah. What are you doing here. How is that any of your fucking business.

00:52:43.130 You know it just as a law and now it's fine but stills like you have to do the stupid song and dance every time. I mean even a white man from Central Nebraska he's from Carney when Ross goes to my hometown in Oxford. It's so much easier when I am there with him because that outsider mentality is just like it's tough in tact. And if my daughter had a hard time going to high school here and she makes you very light. But still it's like that small town kind of if you didn't grow up here and there's this new kid.

00:53:14.160 Yeah. And your son's a first grader. You're the youngest my stepson stepsons the person who I love and he's coming up in the ways just a step mom who is black and I what a family. Yeah. Oh it's it goes. We. We have you know he's jazz. Like jazz is Earth Wind Fire like the boogie down Earth. He's like a soul mate.

00:53:41.130 Like John is very into pop punk and. We're just cross adding child up in the ways of just music which is an amazing thing too. Yeah that's a good place we start. Yeah. John plays a guitar. You know I want to play bass just a one man jazz punk band. I don't know how that would work but my son is. Never questioned. You know I'm ready for these race questions to come in.

00:54:11.900 I don't know. Every now there's like you know your black is like you nailed it but I think 6 and he loves me and like there is no yeah you know yeah. So it's easy but he is best friend. I don't say anything at school or the friends like for comment like there's a lot of adopted kids here that are black and like it's it's great. So it's starting with the children moving up moving forward. Right is such a great thing to see in this town to adopt more kids not more kids of color.

00:54:42.880 That's not true. I just want to read table talk with you know Jada. She is interviewing the is Charlotte on Sex in the city and I know who has adopted children of color. And I think people's feelings understandably are hit and miss. You know I mean how are people about it or people not about it you know. I mean which I think is it's it's tough because you know we have my boss they adopted a little girl and she's mixed her things she's Dominican and he just tells me the story. Like you could almost get them for free.

00:55:10.750 You're like most black kids don't get adopted because black families don't adopt. Usually they you or they take on family members or things like I'm more like yeah personal narrative I'm all about it. Like I just John was adopted and like I am dead we're going to adopt I can't I mean we're kids. Yeah you know and why would I find together right. So it's either me foster care or you know adopt. I'm all about it. Yeah let's bring some color to this. Yeah. That's how my experiences with people of color when I was in high school were.

00:55:42.670 You know I mean it was people who'd come in and were adopted. Rarely was it a family who had we had one family from there that had always been you know from Orleans. But it is yeah that's how we got exposure to anything but you know OK sir I will I will. I've only had one really bad episode and this guy was really old when I'm at work and he would never let me drawn ever ever. Well we have. And I mean I love.

00:56:10.720 The places I work the black doctor that comes in Pakistani. I mean it was at the hospital at least you know I think that's true pretty most in Nebraska. If you want to see like a true spectrum or you know like see a lot you go to medicine get all the doctors are gonna be. Yeah. And so you know it's not like you need to be seen. So but just this one and that's it. I've seen him outside here and he's just. Standoff just very it's it's tough but that's it.

00:56:42.550 I mean that is. That's not bad. How did they. I mean that's like your workplace. Oh they are a hundred percent on my side. Yeah I'm 100 percent. So. You know. You throw your weight around just a little bit like I'm not I'm not taking this you know at all. So. Then. Why would I. And why would they you know. Right. I build up such a good rapport where I work. You know I have such good co-workers on my side which is a good feeling. To have and. You know the younger group is coming in.

00:57:12.850 The 30s are moving and they're moving back home which is nice to see and they've been on the world they come back and like they've been so great to me and so nice. Yeah yeah. I feel like the younger younger and younger yeah better and better now. You don't see it you don't have a lot of encounters where racism has a lot of stair artists. Part you just you feel it you know but there's not the blatant like just that one episode that I've had. So I am very lucky and honestly my husband did say is like if you were a man I think you'd be different if you were a black man.

00:57:43.360 I think you'd be completely different. Victoria I think you'd be. That's great. Then you're a threat then you're a threat. Yeah I I fully agree with that. So as you worry raising a black point here mom my son it will be moving your soon and there and he's he's she's Hispanic and black. And they're better. I mean I got a little bit darker. He's not as dark. I don't know. There are thoughts and like what is this going to be like for him. You know there are worries being the male.

00:58:13.440 Yeah for me. But it's probably scary black man and a white America has time to terrify you know. Every now and I've gotten pulled over for and just don't like what you know. Put your hands on the dashboard. What I said to a cop I coming back. It's like Who are you. What are you. Know what my kids are in the backseat. You did absolutely not. You know I never had that happen to me.

00:58:43.220 No. I have done in a row now like I have gotten pulled over for like I guess I'll put this on. I have a DUI that I drove under the influence. I am not proud of it. Yeah. However even in that situation just sweetly like lowest point of my life is decision. There was never any sort of put your hands on the hood. There was. They didn't like living on the ME. I feel like he was like Just get in the car. You know I had a cow one time say Darcy. You were going so fast you made me spill my coffee. That is what I get what I get.

00:59:15.500 I've got pulled over for speeding countless times. I can't kind of and having fun but they're so nice to me now. They're just you know you're waiting to be like Oh shit. Here we go. It is nervous and it is nerve wracking. I don't personally worry about it. I do worry about my dad. I worry about my brother. You know how my dad has a permit to carry. He carries his gun. Yeah. You know things like this happens more than once more than 10 times. You know I definitely worry about besides that of the cop and the old guy with dementia.

00:59:48.350 But there are times again times that I've had to throw my last name around throw my husband around throw my grandmother's name around to be like Okay just the overt racism no. But the the side eyes and the systemic numbers everywhere that I am still you know. I think that's the that's the level of racism that people don't believe is really there. I don't remember what.

01:00:12.050 Now you know what happened in the national news but there was a time not I mean within over the last year or two at least where my mom and I were talking about this and she started taking the defensive saying that race wasn't a problem. And you know like it was like that was in our past. Now if it handle it and we're magazine not. I was like No and there is racism ever we just don't know because we have the white privilege where we think that everyone enjoys what we have to ran in.

01:00:42.260 And she I think maybe understands it now. Do you know I'm sure you're going to listen but I will say race is a hot topic right now know and I will say the media will push a lot of stuff. On I don't. Agree with all of it. You know if you're not very wise and if you are a follower you can get sucked up in this being a black woman being a black man. Some of it is maybe drama is all. I 100 percent believe that. Like if you can't be a free thinker and think past the bullshit sure you can get hyped up like both directions in a heartbeat.

01:01:12.800 Well well and they really figure out the rest of the story like OK this is not as dire as we are not as dire as we all think which is the really hard part because everything is so heightened right now. So it's like Who do I believe. Of course I want to stand with with my side. But whatever it is it just you know it's a constant. Guessing of what is true and what it isn't. You know hey picture a real great time to move back to your very Republicans today.

01:01:39.950 I don't know that I'm pushing you guys back way like I'm an independent because I really like everything is just so I've been registered as everything I've done every I've been in a band I mean I've been I've been Republican I've been liberal I've been a I refuse take a side now yeah. It's just hard to watch right now I will say that I'm with him. I just feel like even in some of the communities like it's a lot of race baiting right now on both sides and I do not appreciate that at all.

01:02:07.790 Don't come in here with a swag with a swagger. You grew up in a nice place like I don't need your. Don't hold back on me. Just stop. So what's your take on that. Like Colin Kaepernick. That's a tough one for me in I fully believe in his message right. What I. But I also know football.

01:02:37.040 So like is it because you were playing right at this time that you want to like you had a motive what his motivation was you know and for NFL players there are other ways to get out like. But he's also doing other things so yeah like you were just taking the knee a bit like I'm calling bullshit. You should be doing something should be doing something else. But he actually is nothing with protesting though is that there's always going to be people that they're all they want you to do it another way another way. There's no convenient way to protest. That's why it's a protest. That's why it's a pro right.

01:03:05.360 So if kneeling one knee is like it you might for your world you're cool. Yeah like. A slap in the goalie NFL player example where their wireless Harry doing dry eyes convicted of murder. Right. I don't agree with what you're saying. And you want to give me the throwdown over it and you want to fire me for my job. Get then. Yeah. I just feel like it's so polarizing. I think on that because and I think especially in Nebraska a lot of people are like you stand for the flag.

01:03:35.900 And it is highly. That really upsets the Redskins. I don't want that as angry at them for a while. I really struggled with that because I tiring game like does that even mean to you. What does that even mean. Yeah. Yes it's. I get it and I know that people have more more ties to the military more ties to like a military history everybody say that. Yeah like that maybe the flag means more to other people than it does to me. However I mean like. But why is the symbol of America more important than what's actually happened in America.

01:04:06.780 You like why. What is that line it. Yeah this flag but. You're not willing to actually look at what is going on. Just Cuba we're saying if we're doing it peacefully that's all you need do you yeah. I'm not spitting on the flag. I am super privileged to live in America. I fully understand that I am fully aware that I am. And you choose to live here you're not saying you're moving to Canada going to get that. That does not mean that I don't want things change right.

01:04:36.320 It doesn't mean that I can't see you like Hey this isn't working guys can we figure something else out that I can't get mad and say well fuck you. This doesn't work. Yeah. So is this. Well I mean the whole point of America is it's like we're we're working on it all together right. Like ideally to say the second amendment thing over and over again like like say what I want you okay. You can do you have to be such an asshole. You know why would I would you the argument that gets me is the like not at your job but. No it. I don't go to my job and people can be like I'm going to treat you like trash cause you're at your job you're your job.

01:05:07.700 I've had a job where something like I got to be the one that does it. The fact that I was a woman. Yeah I. I don't did not take it because I was at my job I should have just taken it. Well here's what I don't know. I don't go to my job and make fun of disabled people and grab women in the crowd and and you know I'm daily you know this day and people have trouble with calling cabinet not doing his job. You'll have any trouble with somebody else. Everything right. Making a mockery of his jobs goes back to being a I didn't get treated like I would get treat like shit sometimes in Atlanta. What are you kidding me right.

01:05:37.370 Come into your things knocking stuff over being wasted. You could do any wrong. So I just absolutely take everything. Is this your race your job. Oh it's for the lines of what we stand for in our own little box is insane to me. And then you're right as well. It's wild and it's just so hard to. Continuously watch. But like I mean I'm not gonna get heated over this. Now what is it going to change in little Nebraska.

01:06:07.460 It's going to be and it could. I hate me moving here could be a bigger this town needs it. Like I said it's not even that bad. So I'm not even going to shit on this town because it's been yeah it's been great. Yeah. Besides some of it is going to ignorance is bliss since you know you know where they stand. You know the voting strangers touch your hair. Yeah that's what I do. First thing I was like Oh I like your hair contention.

01:06:33.540 You usually get a free Galleria now husband isn't wrong because he goes he'll grab by my years and go he goes oh oh. So if I go this way it's OK if I just try to go out if you do. Oh but I just say. Honey what are you doing. Don't give people tips on how to grab your hair. I mean let me rewind that. Unless you're my husband please don't touch me touch people's hair is Jennifer. Yeah. I don't think anyone ever comes up to me maybe like my nieces. No it's strange. I don't know what.

01:07:04.040 I don't go into your space. I don't touch her. Like if you just got to hear let me. Get your first up we were going to hospital. Don't put your hands. Oh yeah. Please don't touch me. Don't touch me I don't know where you're just doing with your mom you know. No don't touch me. I don't know. Like I don't know what it is. I get you're curious. Yeah be curious but legal theory is right the stakes too.

01:07:32.500 I've seen it happen to children where we live like children who are like out shopping with their parents and I'm like Why are you touching someone's child. What are they doing it anyway. It just goes to show that you're still in a small kindergarden state of mind. You're just like oh I want to. I just got that idea. Yeah. Oh that looks cool let me touch it. You are a sixty five year old woman developing to that you know some that are older.

01:08:01.370 I kind of don't mind death. But I will say with that with with the older crowd you were like oh well they're just older they can think that way. Bullshit that comes back. That racism thing. Right. It's 20 19 almost 20 20. You know you can not say that. You've heard this you've heard that this is inappropriate over and over and I'm. Not OK to say like a woman was like oh you're colored. Was like. Yeah then I corrector. Yeah. We don't say that word. Yeah. And I know you know that right.

01:08:31.040 We all know that by now. Now we use village national like an extra sense of responsibility because you do represent do the entire race. Maybe that woman has never interacted with a woman before. I mean I like holy possible. I really I'm not gonna be angry with her. I wasn't saying in a way for me to be offended. And luckily I am not someone that is easily offended thank God. Otherwise it would be really shitty. But I was like you no we don't talk like God anymore.

01:09:03.010 It's like Oh Mike I'm so sorry. Yeah you know. So she apologized moved on. She won't ever say it to me again. I'm sure she thought about it more than I did. Yeah. So I do feel a sense of responsibility and all fully taken on it and I'll be extremely nice and kind about it because it's it's not threatening me with questions at least if you want a question you can. I've been through this my whole life. If you want a question to me we need to have a town meeting.

01:09:33.810 I thought I'd get it over with. You get her of this podcast if you want it back. If you have questions I guess I always have wondered recently how I should handle things. I recently have been in a situation where someone said the N-word. And and and not that it makes it but not like there's like a good way to use it or a correct way. But it had no like it's not like we're listening to the song and they sing along and right here I don't even do.

01:10:03.850 I'm just like. And then you know they go on now but it G.A. or E.R.. I think it had to be it had too many are. It was like he was giving me a beer and I said Oh can I have one of those and he goes yeah. Like. Just sitting there and I didn't say anything. I just walked out. I was like I'm not going to encourage it.

01:10:31.040 But I also don't know I'm in his home because of a friend of mine. And it's not that I'm choosing to hang out with him it's because of my friend you know something. But it's it's stuck with me since then because I wish I could go back and say don't use that word right now don't even say don't use that word around me. I want say don't use that word. But is that I mean is that I'm all for taking it away all together because you know when I always get stuck with a is welcome.

01:11:04.020 You can't say the weekends and just like that. Shut up. You do not have time you needs to make a living like I don't do this over and over again. And why would I waste my fucking half hours. Why you. All you're doing is try to get into a fight. Yeah. Yeah that's one and saying eat are in a very Jim Crow like I know what you mean man. So why would you. It's hurtful it's derogatory it goes back to slavery time.

01:11:34.110 You know what you're talking about. Try and stop trying to get me into this. We should all go away all together because it is constant hamster wheel of. What this word really means. What I mean to me was I mean to you. What I mean to me in my own community. As was saying to each other. Now my dad has said it over like that. That's a slang term from the 70s you know. Yeah. Yeah. Hey come on Dad you know he would call my kids neglect. Yeah.

01:12:04.020 Thanks Dad for that. That's not like the grandpa world. Harry my brother my brother and sister just there like you can't repeat things that pop right the joke like it. This is where we start cutting things off. This is like I'm not going to change what my dad says now. And the same thing you're not gonna change what a 75 year old racist man says you have to teach your children or teach yourself like. And this is where we grow up as adults. Like be a free thinker. Think for yourself.

01:12:31.080 Like this is not okay to continue on to talk you know. And that's my kids. Like I've talked to my children. Look they. First off we're not selling their house. Yeah. Spoken. You didn't grow with the ghetto guys. So I'm not gonna have a friend that says he grew up hood adjacent. I went to a really really nice school. But you know I get it but I don't farm adjacent garbage is the. Yeah. Did not farm my mom.

01:13:01.230 She wasn't the Black Panthers. Oh well she was a gun carrier for the biker. I mean just. She's not like that at all. And a very strong Christian woman. You know it was a wild time 70s where wild. I love hearing these things around here. But I just think again the thing is just age learning is just to be open minded to the fact that you might be wrong. You know you might be saying it the wrong text or term or shouldn't be saying it at all.

01:13:32.900 Just be able in the fact that let's let this die here and be done with it now but dead that Bush was thinking. So I go to attend my own family now as I go to a 10 when I hear it. I I it's I literally go nuclear on like I can't not. It's in that situation with a friend of a friend. You're gonna to shut down the party I don't know. That's a weird scenario to me like it's not you know there's some situations like you go into it knowing like people might say some things that I'm not gonna like but like.

01:14:02.930 Just handed me a beer right there just threw me so much that I was like. What. OK. I just like and I was frozen right and then I was just like just walked up to Saddam You know like what just happened what. Why would I still feel that way. Yeah I think it's it's kind of that thing reroute you if you could get in a fight and you didn't. You're constantly replaying. Like I just should've said I just should write. So I totally get that.

01:14:31.950 You know there's a there's a bar here. If it's in town or country outsiders in town he just refused. He won't take me to like he's just like you know I just I'll I'll save myself the trouble of possibly stabbing somebody. Yeah. To stay out of this area. Is that how does it feel to know that there is a place that you would not be safe. You know I've experienced racism. You know it's liberal like California remember. I was a kid elementary school across the street.

01:15:00.110 I have a car and this full grown man says get out of the road nigger. Never will I forget so a child driving a child crossing the street. This is in California. You know where you think it'd be safer safer away from that thing. I've had stuff in Colorado. I've had stuff mainly in those two places but you know it doesn't matter it doesn't matter. So to me it's like old hats it's like it's like. Whatever. All to stay away from that.

01:15:29.970 You kind of get used to it which is a really shitty way to feel but there are places that I probably go. You know here in town or. But then there are places that I've gone to like I'll walk in there and. Change the whole bar scene. I hope it's right. But I think there's probably elements of that. In every town and for some people like in Oxford. I keep thinking I couldn't go on the wagon you I work there. Stacey had never stepped foot in there. I still haven't. It closed down without me ever going in there.

01:15:59.850 So I've been there now. But yeah it's it's crazy to me that there would be a bar in your hometown that you've never gone to right. There was one in Kearney that I went that was my first experience and for someone in there. Where my Hispanic friend great second time and when there were jobs like. You just know. Yeah. That really kind of left has not been. Let's just go. This is. When kind of hours are up here then yeah. We're not even going to finish this drink we're going to just have a heightened sense of awareness which kid. I mean I love it.

01:16:28.740 I love that I'm just very aware. Everywhere I go it gets exhausting after a while. I can I just go place and be. You just find your bar that you go to about going to move here and change everybody's mind. I know that but I'm not also going to it is we're going to be is going to be this where my kids are gonna be I'm going to hide you're gonna hide myself at all. And you know that's it. Thank God I know. Thank God you're very lucky. Because now Percy and I can come crash.

01:16:59.050 Game night. I mean really that's what comes out of a situation not your love story. No gaming get in here. Yeah. We've all heard this podcast out. It was just our private. This isn't even plugged in. These are real. So game night. When was that. I mean that doesn't look good. We usually do a better job of Nebraska. Now it just seems to be the younger. People moving back.

01:17:28.380 A little more liberal and very active in the community of just changing things around. Boy I still get stares. That's fine. Will these people come up and say hello to me. I really would hope so. And instead of you know questioning or being fearful or. I'm OK with the stairs. I've been stared at my whole life. But I'm not OK with the actions or words that go behind those stairs at all. So. I have one more question here.

01:17:58.340 You know it's not our motto anymore but the the good life. What do you feel like you. Is it just the same. It's everywhere just the same. I mean you know I think Nebraskans as a rule want to think like we're this nice welcoming. It's ugly here but we like it. You know like I say a guy from Nebraska in Colorado I mean just like hey you know just. But he saw in trees all the license plates I go back and forth a lot to see my family. I think people are a little more open to saying hi.

01:18:28.300 I would say it was a new motto Nebraska it's not it's not. Honestly it's not. And it's yeah it's not. Yeah yeah that's better. Yeah. Oh it's so we enter by that one's more accurate and a lot more. It's not a it's not rather than the good lie at rest. No question. Now we have to follow it whenever you like. It's not as good if it's not an everything that I will say wherever you are. That's where you'll be.

01:18:57.160 And I've lived everywhere and people are dicks everywhere you go. Right. So it really I think people have this. I'm leaving this small town to go to a big city and all my problems behind property values. After I moved to L.A. and like what do you do there how do you meet. And like you just carve out your group you make the saying you know you it's a lot harder in L.A. and San Diego because you know I'm not for that area. It was tough. There's a lot of nakedness. So at least here when people are going to come over they'll be over right they'll be probably five minutes early which is very hard for me.

01:19:31.330 I will say that early and that is I mean you're. Yeah. Don't you come on my house without being invited or text me. Well California you up 15 to 30 minutes late late constantly. Forty five hour any of that's all within the range. You come by this house. Uninvited. I'm gonna have a huge problem with it. And that's just city stuff that I might add that way. Roxanne mom's that way. They've only really that can do that. And that's the line. That's it. Oh yeah. There's no deal.

01:19:59.500 But surely more like him right about her bikes. But John's friends and had to learn really early I don't play that game when I say seven. I mean seven. Even that like don't you or even Ohio you. Oh yeah. Like you can't just show up on a Tuesday at six thirty sir. I don't like that either though and I'm from Nebraska. I'm unprepared. Also at my house and I love it because people are very giving. My mom has cancer and so I've recently moved home and I'm you know helping you here.

01:20:29.080 No well in Nebraska but yeah I'm about a half hour and Darcy. And I get. All. The time with like nowhere on or on a nightgown at noon because I stayed up way too late doing stuff with my mom and she's still sleeping and so I haven't wanted to you know. Yeah. And so then I'm like Oh the same with my arms crossed. Yeah. Because they do the courtesy knock and then they're in the house and I'm down trapped in my living room with nothing but like a blanket.

01:20:59.410 No I'm a door lock or she locked up and when I first met John there were no current on this big window. Oh. Who. How do you does that. I tell the story a lot right. The bed sheets those curtains don't do it all. Now the first thing that you know you're awesome. I have Democrats privacy private. The last one. It's like how. What did what. Now if that garage door is open at John's and there is friends and stuff in the garage. Yeah. That's it.

01:21:28.970 Well you come by and a little bit to be a dick like this is where I can be an asshole. Yeah. More than about race because you come by uninvited. I'm going to be a full on you're hitting this sweet guy in this swing. Well well we'll post her address in the comments just like you I touch her hair and then there's a next shooting in Nebraska. I feel like that will be the end of the park.

01:21:57.550 But I really decided we've decided to go the way of things. So we end every podcast with two questions. First one is big takeaway that our listeners should get from this conversation so we feel a little more educated about this concept of I guess race like race relations in the world. It's just. It sounds so cliche to say this but it's all normal. We're all human.

01:22:26.420 Like I hate seeing this stupid thing. Come up and have a conversation with me. Just don't come to my house uninvited but I'll make you laugh I'll make. I bake them a I can like I these things. It's gonna be fine. There is nothing else that I just don't know where the anger comes from. I think I'm just like really befuddled on this whole. I don't even know if I am an answer but it's just it's all normal it's all fine. But what is normalcy a nine does. And now I'm going through. I know I'm doing all this work to try to wrap it up and like to one like we've just talked about it.

01:22:58.100 Race relations in America. Hard to wrap it up in a minute. Yeah. One sentence that shows that I'm angry. Then I'm just like knock and stuff. I know I'm angry. I'm like How can you. You just haven't even met a black person. How could you have this how do you have this idea. Asked. It's very strange. It's very weird. Where did this come from. And I'm only 36 and I feel like I'm 80 like preaching. Yeah. I don't know I'm just you can just be man like and then I have this hippie mentality just this chill the fuck out.

01:23:31.270 It really is keeping keep as yourself in lives. There's another. You really get out on T-shirts. I can wear how I use that word. Oh God I was lost my me. Like if we could just be like. Oh. Yeah. Let's all this the 70s just be Angela fuck no. War. Don't be a dick here remember the three things I was like oh man if it could just only be that symbol.

01:24:03.390 The other one we ask is. For you to do our work for us. Do you have any idea of a concept that you would like to hear us explore more in depth and learn a little bit more about something that you don't understand or don't have a good grasp of. Or maybe you do but you don't think the world does. No I don't know if I have one right now. There's too much just too much sauce everywhere. Yeah.

01:24:32.190 On that note I'm with too much sauce. My dad let me why not. Why why this why so heavy it would take a super literal and I get like somebody who makes out also like OK toss Meg Ryan and he's wanted to know about it. I don't know. Yeah. That's how we dabble in our own political opinions occasionally but we're like We don't think we're fully armed to have like a conversation like a political Pacific conversation. I would. I was suggesting we from the too.

01:25:02.340 This is the most political we've been getting. I think that the Colin Cavanagh like yeah that kind of stuff the military touching on that I feel like I pushed past Catholic and miners like Serena Williams and how you know she's being treated wrong woman and being just a mom and. There was a runner that got fired demoted when she was pregnant Yeah. And there's like. There are so many other topics besides raised me like did I get to be a female like you.

01:25:33.660 You can't really. Oh yeah. You also get all the good girl stuff too. WOMAN Yeah you know I mean it just it goes but a lot of people really hate women. Aside from a lot of people are colorblind when it comes to women. Oh my gosh oh well if she was a lesbian Oh yeah man met the mothers. I'm two for two. Yeah I think I pick and choose my battles because it just if it's not race here you know I'm not really dealing with it even though I know it's around.

01:26:05.180 Then I definitely know it's about being a woman now and I don't know it's about being a black. Like what. What button do I push it honestly eject eject IS THE BUTTON YOU JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. LAUGHTER So you know Kenny was a more of a race because it's everywhere and I feel like my topic really is just being a woman or a black woman or yeah yeah yeah.

01:26:34.010 There's just so much and again there it is it's too much there's too much sauce that's a T-shirt and it's a get on hashtag on this. Yes please. Maybe that's right. Maybe that's not eva's idea at all how much loss is too much how much is too much. Rick Well thank you. NEWS.COM for having this super heavy conversation on a Friday morning with me. I'm off work. Jon brought back.

01:26:57.770 Thanks for taking the responsibility now that we get rolled up and Jon had taken the French press to the shop look up and tell do what a special human guy that is on a very kind of person. Yeah yeah yeah. I specifically bought this steel one because he breaks those one and now it's shop approved. So now I know what I'm getting over Christmas. Yeah. I can't leave it in the shop but I seriously thank you for educating us. I mean I hope even though it's not your responsibility to do so.

01:27:28.590 I really appreciate being able to have the conversation on the responsibility cause if if no one's going to know honestly who's going to tell the small town. Yeah right. And if you're not gonna be a dick about it and asked me if you're gonna ask me questions I am more than happy to explain it you. I would like doing it once so I don't know but maybe you could make a handout like a pamphlet. Yeah. This is how you refer to me. You can not intentionally small like like a little pamphlet because that's my big idea.

01:27:59.970 I gotta go. Not a waste tree hugger. Yeah I know it's an easy thing to do. I mean so many things that go on in my head sometimes race is the last of it. Yeah I see someone throw some out the window I'm saying Curb Your. Races. On that note. That is not where you're going to wrap it up. Litter bugs are also racists also. Thanks for listening. One new thing like us and follow us where no concept bod edgy mailbox.

01:28:31.760 Send us your topics. Yes and yes. If you wanna sponsor us. Oh yeah you can sponsors too. Well it's where you take your money. We've got a good reach guys. I mean I'm not joking. It's already a hashtag too much science. Hashtag too much loss. We're going to post everything under that. All right. Thanks for listening. Bye.