113_Susan_Hyatt Susan: I love that you said full of her. Because I love when people say, oh, she's so full of herself. And I said, what a wonderful thing to be full of self? Yes, that's what we want for every woman be full of self and you're right. We cannot be full of self. We cannot be using our creativity and our power in ways that are going to change the world and nourish our families. If what we're doing is constantly ruminating on. lists that needed to be done and constantly ruminating on managing the moods of the entire family and constantly anticipating for everyone. And I love what you said at the beginning of like allowing everyone to be in their power and that everyone is smart and resourceful and powerful because that is the truth. When we allow, if, if you just ask yourself, you know, what, if I didn't manage. This dinner. What if I didn't manage the conversation that I know is going to happen at the dinner table? What have I just allowed things to unfold and trust that people can manage themselves and find their way? === Monica: Welcome to The Revelation Project Podcast. I'm Monica Rogers, and this podcast is intended to disrupt the trance of unworthiness and to guide women, to remember and reveal the truth of who we are. We say that life is a Revelation Project and what gets revealed. It gets healed. Hello everyone. And. To another episode of the revelation project podcast today, I'm with Susan Hyatt who's a master certified life and business coach. And one of the world's leading voices on mindset, motivation, and how to become an unstoppable. She's also the number one best-selling author and TEDx speaker, founder of the university for life coach training and the founder of bear, a trademarked process that helps women shed body image issues, stop dieting, and treat their bodies with love and respect, leading to huge mental and physical. Breakthroughs, join me in welcoming Susan. Hi, Susan. Hi, thank you for having me. Oh, I'm so happy to have you. And I love this subject that we're about to talk about today because I, it was such a revelation for me to learn about invisible labor. Um, and the reason I love talking about invisible labor so much is because obviously this is the revelation project where what gets revealed gets healed. And I think that as women, when we are consumed, All of this invisible labor, which is emotional. And otherwise we tended to continue to perpetuate this pattern of exhaustion and not enoughness, which for me is so much a part of the trance of unworthiness. Susan: Absolutely and think that it's so important to me in my work to help women become awake to all the ways that they are not fully owning their power and not at using their capacity for enriching their lives, working on what they want to be working on, doing what they want to do when we are beholden to a private part-time job. If you will, then we obviously have less time to focus on what matters. Right. And it made me kind of think about how this subject has. I think surfaced for me at least more prominently over the course of the last several years, but I know that it became a bigger topic of discussion with the pandemic because so many women started to recognize it. It's like. I always think of, you know, the princess and the pea and that pea is that uncomfortable, even though she's like so far away, right on that top mattress, it's like the P or the pebble in the shoe becomes kind of unbearable when you're. With it every day, right. Where you don't have a break from it. And so I would just, maybe we could just start talking about, first of all, how do you define invisible labor? How do you help women recognize invisible labor? And then how did you see it amplified for. Sure. So invisible labor is all of the work that women typically in heterosexual relationships have learned to absorb or take on from family of origin or culture at large. And so it's being the keeper of all the things it's managing the moods of the family. Not named typically, but it takes up so much of our cognitive and emotional lives. And so what, this can look like a simple example, an everyday modern example from my own life is a few years ago. I was filming a documentary for my book there and here I am full hair, man. Camera crew. We were in the car going from one shoot location to another, and my phone kept ringing and I kept declining it. And then all of a sudden, I thought, because it was an LA number, maybe this is something to do with what we're doing here. Maybe I should add. I answered it was door dash, which for those of you who don't have door dash it's GrubHub or Uber eats, it's a food delivery service. And this poor door dash delivery person was knocking on my adult sons apartment door, trying to deliver food. Now my husband had ordered himself dinner, but my son was the last person to use the door dash account and had his apartment address in there. And so door dash was trying to deliver. My 50 something, husbands tacos to my twenty-something son door and they are calling me because they can't get either person to answer. And I thought I am in LA on a documentary shoot and. Still caught up in trying to solve a problem that is not mine. And so I started to explain to the door dash driver, what had happened and. My camera person leaned up from the back seat and whispered this is the invisible workload. And I was like, you're right. I just ended the conversation because I don't need to be the one to solve two grown men's dinner problems. Ah, it's like things that happen on a daily basis that women are trained to just take care of like, oh, it'll be easier if I do it. I know what sippy cup, the toddler prefers. I know the snacks for soccer practice. I know when vaccinations are supposed to happen. I know when the pets need to go to the vet, I'm the keeper. I'm the keeper of all the things is really what the invisible workload is. Monica: Yup. Yup. And it really shows up everywhere. It shows up everywhere and it creates, you know, I think about kind of the unintended impact, because what happens is that we become resentful. We become exhausted. We become just. So out of touch with our own needs, because we are so busy caring for everybody else. And I think about when I, like you started to recognize it and started to like catch myself in the act and what it brings up for me as a coach is that it's in this realm of knowing that others are creative, resourceful, and whole. And I think what else comes up though, as we examine this and unpack it a little bit more, is that there's also this dynamic that I think is also invisible between men and women that starts at a very, very young age. Like one of the things I started to catch in myself was that I was parenting my son differently. Like there was some kind of on examining. Script that I was playing out as a mother that absolved him from certain chores because, or certain things, because the way that he handled it or the way that he. Things, like I knew that my daughter would like get her done type of thing. And like, I started making all these excuses for him from a young age and it was so ingrained at cause like that's how it always was right with and then when I looked at like the generational stuff, it was like, the guys always ended up on the couch, like eating chips while the women were around them. sweeping, picking up after them. Oh my dear Lord. Susan: Totally. This, this actually just recently happened because here's the thing is that when we become awake to it and then we approach our spouse or partner about the disparities that we're seeing that are research based research shows that on average, In a heterosexual relationship, men have five and a half more hours of leisure time per week than women. And I actually think that that's conservative, but that's from a Harvard review study from 2021 that, you know, five and a half hours. What would you do with that? But to speak my back to my point, that when you present this typically to even the most helpful spouse or partner, there's a defensiveness that happens and, and, and just a complete misunderstanding because that's how it's always been. Over the holidays, my house, we invited my husband's extended family for a holiday meal. And the morning of my very helpful husband says, okay, I want to help you today. So could you give me my list? I want to get my list done. And I said, I love you. And notice that you're helping me that somehow this is my thing. And secondly, that I'm the keeper of the list.That I have to make you a list in order for you to help me. This is the invisible workload. Like this is what all of this talk is about. So I appreciate and understand that you genuinely want to be helpful and also recognize that you have no idea what needs to be done to prepare for all these folks coming over for this holiday meal. And so I teach this for a living. And I'm still educating my husband of 28 years that no one is saying that you're waking up today trying to keep me down. What we're saying is that this is a system of patriarchy that. hurts. All of us. It's not a gender. It's a system. And the invisible workload is a real second shift for women. And in order for us to change things, we have to be able to talk about them and shine light on it. Monica: I love that. It's, it's so true. I love that you were able to catch that and create a conversation in that moment. That was about noticing, because again, I think that when we are. Able to talk about these things as we all are involved in breaking down patriarchy. And thank you for defining it because I do find that there's a tremendous amount of confusion around what that actually means. And a lot of defensiveness and I don't, you know, I really recognize that it's. There's kind of a context setting with our partners. And then there's a illumination process that, and I don't know if you're, you know, David DDAs work, but he, he talks a lot about women as kind of the, the lantern bearers. Like we're the ones. And, and I, I really do see that it's like, women are kind of these natural revealers that. You know, we, we have this ability to shed light on something and to reveal it in order that it can change and be healed, which is why I think so much of this is coming to the surface. Now is the feminine returns, because this is where true change happens. And it is through the conversation and the dialogue and some of these tools, which are very simple, but very powerful, such as, okay. Notice, let's notice together there doesn't have to be this war against the genders. It's more about how can we collaborate? How can we come together? And co-create something new, something different where everybody has. Now the space, the time, the support that we each need as individuals, so that we can actually come together and enjoy the time more as couples and as families and have those extra reserves. And the thing that I always noticed with women is that we are natural givers, and we tend to think that we have this endless supply of giving. That's only true if we're giving from our overflow, if we are filling ourselves first, if we are full of ourselves, that's when we have the ability to give from our overflow endlessly, but she has to be filled first. Susan: Yes and I love it. I love that you said full of her. Because I love when people say, oh, she's so full of herself. And I said, what a wonderful thing to be full of self? Yes, that's what we want for every woman be full of self and you're right. We cannot be full of self. We cannot be using our creativity and our power in ways that are going to change the world and nourish our families. If what we're doing is constantly ruminating on. lists that needed to be done and constantly ruminating on managing the moods of the entire family and constantly anticipating for everyone. And I love what you said at the beginning of like allowing everyone to be in their power and that everyone is smart and resourceful and powerful because that is the truth. When we allow, if, if you just ask yourself, you know, what, if I didn't manage. This dinner. What if I didn't manage the conversation that I know is going to happen at the dinner table? What have I just allowed things to unfold and trust that people can manage themselves and find their way? Monica: Yeah. And this is where I love, I love where we're headed because we're headed into the mess. Which is one of my favorite subjects because when women stop holding it all together, it gets messy for awhile. Yeah, it really does. It gets frigging messy because when we sit back and let, when we have been holding it all together and managing it for so long and we haven't allowed for things to occur. Avoiding disaster. Right? How many times do we save people? Right. We think we're saving them from like a blow up. And it's like, when we stopped managing it, guess what happens? The blow-up happens. And that is not time for us to go in and fix it. That's the time for us to sit back and say, you've got this. You know, or have people come and ask us questions, then what should I do now? It's like, well, what do you think you should do? What does your instinct tell you to do? Right. Like to be able to teach people what we know, because here's the other cool thing about what we find is that we have this wisdom. That we, that we can share with other people we can share with our family members about how to be like, we've just over amplified that side of ourselves, but we hold so much wisdom as women. We hold this incredible mother energy and this incredible grandmother energy, but we have to dare to stop fixing everybody's shit for them. Susan: Yes. Yes. I mean, I can't tell you how much more freedom I experience in my life by. Just allowing people to be people and solve their own problems because I used to spend, it was a part-time job. I used to spend so much time trying to make sure everyone never felt uncomfortable. How ridiculous. I was making myself feel wildly uncomfortable, trying to worry and manage and like make people get along. And the truth of the matter is I love, I think it's a Rumi quote, let go, or be dragged. Monica: I love that. Susan: It's so great. I, listen, I got dragged for a long time through the mud until I finally let go. And I remind myself of that all the time. Like, oh, you're letting yourself get dragged right now. Like you need to let go. Monica: And it's like, we're so afraid of the mess, but the mess is like where at the Lotus blooms, right? Like, that's that whole metaphor that I love so much where, you know, it's that in women it's like we come by it, honestly, because we've been raised our whole lives to kind of avoid these messes because from some very young age, it was like, don't play in the dirt. Don't get your clothes, dirty dirt. You know, our sexuality was dirty, like dirt, anything that was dirt or dirty, or like, you know, Messy. It was somehow a reflection on our character or our person or our purity. And that's all bullshit. First of all. And second of all this discomfort, you know, that we continue to avoid. Is part of where people actually learn to become initiated into their own maturity and adulthood. Hello. And the reason that we have so many, you know, really. I don't even know what to call it. Tantruming adults in the world is because they are uninitiated adults who are running the world, you know? And I think to myself, sometimes it's like, there's something here about the mother who never allowed the son. To feel discomfort, you know, and it creates this toxic situation after a while. And so this is not me blaming women. I'm just looking for my, you know, like my part in it, because I certainly started to see it in myself. I'm like, why do I expect something different from my daughter than I do from my son, as it relates to the household duties and chores. Susan: Right. Exactly. And my 21 year old daughter, Cora is someone I credit from a very young age of waking me up, same because from a very young age, she would call it out and she would say, you know, Why does Ryan have a different curfew? Or why, why is, why is Ryan the one that has to do certain things, like take out the trash, but I have to do all this other stuff. She was like, I would rather take out the trash. I would rather cut the yard. I would rather chop, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like she's like, I'm fully capable of doing those things and it is. I have so much confidence in gen Z with taking the awareness. I think that us gen X-ers have had. Illuminated being lanterns and the, and they're like, oh yeah, well guess what? Like there they are. Monica: We're going to integrate and put it into action. Susan: Yes. Like we're not just going to talk about it. We're going to be about it. So I do think it's interesting to become awake to, like you're saying all the ways that we were raised to do it, bought into it and are continuing the pattern. And so, I mean, I see it all the time in my own life and I'm constantly searching for them so I can share them because often when I'm talking about the invisible workload and the leisure gap, women will say, oh, but not, not in my house because my husband cooks, or my husband picks the kids up, or my husband I'm like, listen, I'm not saying your husband, isn't wonderful and helpful. I'm saying, and yet I, you know, Can I show you, give me 10 minutes and I can point out some ways in which you are probably carrying a cognitive and emotional burden that he is not. And. Oh, what were you going to say? Monica: Well, I was just going to say Susan, go into that more deeply, because this is where I think it is so helpful, right. For us to eliminate some of these ways that that's like it's hiding in plain sight. Susan: Yeah. It's totally hiding in plain sight. So one of the examples that I always use is, you know, who is the, who is the, if you have children who is the first point of contact with the school. Who's the emergency contact. And so my 23 year old son, Ryan, I have so many Ryan stories and he would like royalties at this point. But when I was raising Ryan, he was very out of the box, not a great fit for a traditional classroom setting. And. Up until, I mean, up until high school, when I allowed him to do some online school, I mean, it was a mess and teachers had me on speed dial and up until the fifth grade, I was the main point of contact. So I would be going about my day. You know, running my company, doing all the things that I do and fielding calls from teachers. Some sometimes they're just wanting suggestions on how to work with him. Other times it was a school principal saying, come pick him up. And by the time he was in the fifth grade, I said to my husband, I'm changing the first point of contact at the school. And because not only was I doing things, right, like getting the call, coming up with solutions or picking him up or whatever it might be. I was thinking about it all day long because it was disrupting my day. And so when you think about, if you're a parent. All the ways, like if there's a school lunch missing, if there's an IOU in the cafeteria, if there's an afterschool thing happening, if there's a costume day, you know, who's handling those kinds of things. And are you ruminating on. You know, what's happening with them. Do they have someone to sit with? What if they're sick? You know, all of those things we tend to, we tend to take the lead on and it wasn't until I changed that point of contact at the school and Scott Hyatt started getting those calls that he was like, whoa. And I remember him coming home being like, I have appointments. Yeah. So do I.. Yeah. He was like, I have appointments. And I'm like, and he's like, you know, overwhelmed by it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. You're going to have to sort that out. Yeah. I feel you I've done it for years now. It's your turn, sir. Okay. Monica: Oh, it's so good. I know I'm trying not to go out. So now what I want to talk about is the value, because I think there's a lot of women out there. That it's like, we never really loved to admit the score-keeping right. But there is a way that we tend to place more value on his time if he's the bread winner and. It's really interesting because there's, it gets into some of these conversations about agreements and renegotiating agreements and how none of us when we get into, and this doesn't just happen in. Parenting world. It happens if you don't have children. And by the way, you're just in the corporate world and you've been raised to be this way. It's it can be with the men in your office. It can be, it can even be with your girlfriends. Let's face it. I want to go back and raise my hand and say, as the daughter of an alcoholic father, we had a very alcoholic, very codependent way of growing up and it wasn't until again, those roles were illuminated that I got to see that there's very helpful ways to look at the roles of the dynamics. In a family system that keep that system intact. And it's only when the person stops refusing to do the role, that, that, that system starts to become destabilized and eventually fall, you know, fall can fall apart or, you know, S some other dynamic gets put in place, but the reason I'm bringing this up is because I will continue to raise my hand and say, I was continually making excuses for my ex who. You know, we're all great now and we're fine now. And we've come back together after years to co-parent in a much healthier way, but when the kids were small, you know, we had never had an agreement about who was going to stay home with the kids. It was just assumed, you know, that that was my role. And. When my daughter was three months old and I continued to go to my husband for money for the weekly needs. I was like, this is some bullshit, like, you know, like, and then, and then over time I became a ghost of myself. Like I. I became so exhausted that I've actually became severely ill because I didn't know how to care for myself. I didn't know how to create boundaries. I didn't know how to ask for help. And so I became deeply resentful because it like, I will never forget. One day I was kneeling. Puking into the toilet and our bathroom with my toddler puking on the floor. And I just looked up and I was like, please don't leave me with her. You know, this is before my son was born and he's like, I'm sorry, I, I got to get on a plane. And he like left . Susan: Woo. Yup. Monica: And I was, it was like, there were so many incidents where I just felt like, wow, like I. Uh, I don't matter like this, it doesn't matter. Like at the end of the, like, there's just so much here, I think, as it relates to yeah. How we start to pivot and change these set ways of being in our relationships and in our lives, because I've often said that until women say enough, Enough and know our own enoughness and our own value. Nothing is going to change. Susan: It's so true.And your example is such a vivid good one because it is like, so I, I stayed at home with my children when, for a few years when they were babies and and I've had, and I had an, uh, you know, sort of, uh, a realization that I did it because I thought that's what a good quote unquote good mom did. And then. Woke up to the fact that me pretending to be some hybrid of Martha Stewart and Betty crocker was like the end. Like I was like you, like, I became a shell of myself and I reentered the workforce as a residential real estate agent. And. I think for women. So, so I have been a stay at home. Mom. I've been a full-time work outside the home mom. I have been a part-time work outside the home mom. And then when I started this company in 2007, it was work from home. I've worked out of this home office the whole time, but my kids were little, they were six and eight when I started this company from home. And I've, so I've had like every version of it and every version of it still involved, the. Attitude that because I was the mother, whatever they needed, whether I was staying home full time or working full-time or part-time, or working from home that that was mine to manage. And if I needed help and I'm sure a lot of listeners get this will like tell me what you need. And so it's, it's the having to be able to articulate an ask and advocate. For what we need that can also be exhausting. And I agree with you until women decide like my time, regardless of the income attached to it is as valuable and as important as my male counterparts were sunk. And you know, my whole life's work is getting women to claim that and advocate for themselves and say like, You know, Hey, like my husband's saying, like I have appointments, guess what I do too. And then when the, when the time came, when the tide shifted in terms of, uh, it didn't matter who was the primary breadwinners is my ultimate point. It was still like me thinking. I better take care of this because he's not gonna, and, and just that invisible and emotional burden of being the one and having to step back from that and hire help. And. Give him lists and educate him and do all those things. Right. Then we have the educational burden of like, this is why this is why this matters, but guess what we have to, because otherwise we're going to continue to be paid less. We're going to continue to have less free time. Where if, if we don't say like I am valuable and worthy and deserving. Of all these things like no one will. Monica: Okay. Right. And what it's also bringing up for me is what I heard myself say. And what I hear a lot of women say, which is when it comes to actually going and investing in themselves or taking time for themselves on a retreat or something that actually does help them get nourished, have space, create spaciousness for themselves. It's like. There's always this interesting dynamic of, I gotta, I gotta check with my husband and see if that's, if, if that'll work or, or if there's always this sensitivity around money around. Taking that time away from the family. It is really hard for women to do it. And, and yet it takes doing it to actually get the value of it and then to keep doing it. It's such, it's such a racket is what I want to say. It's such a racket and it has got to stop. And there's this way that it's like, oh my gosh, I couldn't imagine spending that kind of money on myself for a retreat. It's like, why. Susan: Right. He's doing it. Men do not ask. They like, if they need to do a business trip or a guys trip or whatever, they, they may say like, does this match with the family calendar? But that's rare. They're like they book their thing and they're like, by the way, I'm going to be on this business trip these days. Right. And so I absolutely hear this from women as well, whether it's a mastermind or a retreat or an event, it doesn't matter. It's like one of the primary mental obstacles is let me check with my husband. Let me check and see if I'm allowed. This is basically the message. If I'm allowed. To spend family money on myself, or if I'm allowed to take time for myself and I'm like, let me tell you something, okay, Monica: Let me tell you. Yeah, Susan: You are making sure everybody else has an amazing summer camp experience and all these things and you get, what do you get? You get to do your job in another location during the summer. If y'all take a vacation. No, . It is, it is absolutely maddening, absolutely maddening it's Monica: Maddening. And when you really, really get how maddening it is, you're like, what am I doing? Susan: Why am I asking permission? Yeah. It's I, I like, we deserve a percentage of that family income. Like, it doesn't matter. You don't have to earn it. Monica: You deserve it, you deserve it. Susan: Your kids get, I'm always joking, particularly when it's a summertime thing I'm selling. And I'm like, oh, let me get this straight. So-and-so's going to riding camp and dance camp and Broadway camp and all these things. And you don't, you're not deserving of that. Yeah. You don't get to have that. Why not? Yeah. Monica: Cause I want to add to the deserving thing, just the way you. Yeah, just the way you are like that, that literally like you deserve everything for exactly how you are without needing to be perfect without needing to earn it without having to do a thing different than anything that you've ever done. You deserve it just because of the way that you are, because. If you're listening to this, here's what I am going to guarantee. You are already a natural giver. You are already incredibly generous. You are already deeply loving. You are considerate. You care about other people. You wouldn't freaking be listening to this. If you did. You and even if you weren't, you would still deserve it, Susan: Right? Because you're alive and you're here Monica: And you are worth taking all the time and all this space and all the money you need. I mean, that's the truth. It's like it's, it's such a powerful message. I think for women to hear and to get just kind of creating some space to sit in that for a minute. Hmm. Yeah. What comes up for you, Susan? Susan: I feel like I just went to church. I'm like, yes. Amen. Monica: It's just, yeah, Susan: I do think that in addition to all the programming stuff, we've talked about, that part, part of the point you're making is that part of that programming is that we have to ask permission or we should ask for permission. And then we also better have earned. Like we better. And your point is like, you don't have to do anything or be anything other than who you are to be worthy of. Investing in yourself, whether that's through dollars or time or consideration. And I spent way too many years trying to eat my way, drink my way out of uncomfortableness and being dissatisfied and feeling back-burnered in my own life. And the beautiful thing is that as soon as I started becoming awake to it and, and learning how to acknowledge. Feeling and really feel my feelings and really admit what I really, really wanted. That's when the sky really started to open up for me. And so it's not like, you know, all these years later that I am 1000% check I'm done. Now I'm a human being, having a human experience. And I find ways every day, uncover ways every day that, that it's like, oh, wow. I'm doing this thing again, or, oh, wow. I'm I made that decision because somewhere somehow I'm still thinking that I need to be green-lighted before I can do that for myself or. You know, so it's a, it's a lifelong process of really owning our power, but it sure is a fun adventure to be on Monica: It is. And what you're pointing to, which I love is is the numbing, the hiding, the suppressing. And what I often talk about is that when. We're kind of hiding the truth of who we are through those practices. The universe is not actually vibrationally aligned with the truth of who we are, because the true voice, you know, says this is some bullshit or the true voice says. I'm feeling resentful right now. And here's, what's really going on for me as you take off for this next business trip or here's what I'm noticing, I've been suppressing. And as soon as it in what you said, which is so great is like, as soon as you started being true to you, that's when everything started to change. And it's not that it's not messy and uncomfortable. It is. But I also say to women, you know, it's like we can. It's like my father used to say like Rome, wasn't built in a day, right? Like this is a practice. And so to start creating a foundational conversation of change that you can then point back to and continue to kind of expand that as we educate, because let's face it. You know, if we want things to change in our families and in communities, then there is a certain element that. Uh, of education that's involved in it. And there's also a ton of resources that we can point our loved ones to and say, you know, if we're just not able to do it, Read a book, listen to this video, but this is got to change. And, you know, for a lot of, you know, I, I also go back to like, we train the world how to be in relationship with us. And so we've got to retrain the world to. Relate to us, the way that we want to be treated. And sometimes that comes with a big fat. No, Susan: A big old fat. No, no is, listen. I love helping women consider asking for everything, what they need and also being willing to say no without apology. Yeah, too. And you know, it's like, Like, I don't, I don't want to, I don't have time to, that's not like, Nope. Not doing it and that's enough. Monica: Yeah. Right. Just know as a full sentence, right? Susan: Yeah. Not explaining a way, not apologizing for having a boundary. Just like, no, I, I really don't want to do no, no, I'm not. Monica: Right. And there's so many great ways to say no, it's like, it, it actually starts to be fun because every time I say no out there, it's a yes for me. Susan: Totally. Yeah. It's just, I'm not. And I think the older I get and the more practice I've had with saying no, cause I'm a recovering people pleaser, as I think most women are Monica: Me too. That Susan: It just becomes so much easier. And I'm so proud of myself when I do it, because I have had so much contrasting experience of saying yes to something I didn't want to do and how much pain that causes and how it just robs you of your time and energy and all those things too. So, you know, no. It's a great antidote to, and also, I don't know. So what I've been doing lately, I've in the invisible workload thing. I noticed how many times a day my husband or son or daughter will ask me something like I'm their personal Alexa, Siri or Google, even things like my husband last night, I was laughing because I was sitting in the living room with him and he was like, what time is it? And he has a cell phone just like I do. And I'm like, I don't know, like how often you'll just like, look it up. What's the weather. What's the time. What's the address? What's her number. And I'm just now, even if I know I'm like, I don't know at like, not your personal secretary and it's hilarious how often through the day. We're asked to make decisions or give answers to things that other people are fully capable of doing. And so, no. And also, I don't know, like a broken record around my house now. I don't know. Monica: Right. Susan: I think you have a weather app Monica: Or when somebody asks you, right. It's like, I don't know. Can I do. I don't know. Can you it's just it's or, or any question, like, I love answering questions with a question it's like, should I, blah, blah, blah. I don't, I don't know. What do you think you should do? I don't have your answers. I know you have your answers. It's like we have to stop. Susan: We have to stop doing all that. Monica: Well, and it comes with advice, right? Which is like, nobody loves, loves to eat. I don't think anybody takes advice. You know? So it's like, it's, it's one of those funny things. It's like the more we can learn to ask people, questions and empower other people to get to their answers. Susan: Absolutely. Monica: So this has just been such a great conversation, Susan. I have loved my time with you and of course, Susan: Uh, thank you. Monica: Yeah, we, I know there's so much more here and we will be sure. Of course, to. Our listeners to your resources, because this is, I mean, part of why we wanted to reveal this conversation is this is some of your work in the world. And, you know, for my listeners, Susan's work is phenomenal. And there's way more that, you know, it's like, if you enjoyed today's conversation, it's just the tip of the iceberg. So we'll be sure to put all of her resources in the, in the show notes. And Susan, is there any. Place in particular, you want to send them to learn more? Susan: Well, there's two different places. I'm very active on Facebook and Instagram at Susan Hyatt. And then my website is as high at.com. Um, I would just be delighted if people want to learn more. You know, come hang out with me on social media. It'll be fun. Monica: Awesome. Okay. And for our listeners until next time, Maura to be revealed, We hope you enjoyed this episode. For more information, please visit us@jointherevelation.com and be sure to download our free gift, subscribe to our mailing list or leave us a review on iTunes. We thank you for your generous listening and as always more.