00:00:00:01 - 00:00:29:09 Nick Clason At what age should you buy your kids a cell phone? And in this episode, we're also going to look at our screens. A blessing or a curse? Three different parental controls that you can live by in your life as you navigate this technology and cell phone kind of landscape with your children. My recommended age to give your kids a phone and the best phone monitoring apps on the market. 00:00:29:11 - 00:00:57:14 Nick Clason And don't forget the down below. We've included chapters in the bottom of this video so you can be able to jump around. But first, does anyone remember this? See, this was my childhood internet experience and I was born in 1989, barely even an 80s baby. And this was what my internet experience was. And we had to dial up to get on the internet. 00:00:57:15 - 00:01:21:28 Nick Clason I would spend my summer afternoons on Aim, chatting with all of my friends. But if my mom wanted to use the phone, she would pick up the phone and it would kick me off of AOL Instant Messenger. Compare that to today, where the internet is in our pocket, our TVs are connected to the internet, and we can watch and browse anything we want on there in our living room. 00:01:21:28 - 00:01:58:22 Nick Clason And the answer to every single question is literally at our fingertips. It's a blessing paired with a curse. Technology and phones are the common answer when you ask, what's the difference between Generation Alpha and Generation Z or generation Y? Millennials or Gen X, like the common difference is technology and phones. And so it will mark generation alpha as the key indicator and the key difference to their generation. 00:01:58:22 - 00:02:28:22 Nick Clason And all the other generations that have gone before it. Generation Alpha started and was born and is widely held to be classified as being born in 2010. 2010 is the year that the iPad was invented. It was the year that Instagram was also invented, and it was when app was the word of the year. So those things just simply underscore how marked by technology and screens. 00:02:28:22 - 00:02:59:16 Nick Clason Generation Alpha is. So I believe that navigating technology is going to be either the key to success or the key to the failure of those in Generation Alpha. So in many ways, the verdict is still out. Our screens good, our screens bad. Is technology helpful? Are they here for the greater good or are they inherently evil and are the causes of them? 00:02:59:19 - 00:03:23:05 Nick Clason What's causing Gen Alpha to be doomed? You know, we've been discussing in this playlist link right here the the characteristics and the stereotypes of Generation Alpha. Who are they and and how do we teach them? And in today's episode, we're exploring the world of screens. I want you to check out this quote from E.F. Shoemaker who said this about the invention. 00:03:23:08 - 00:03:44:01 Nick Clason It's either the greatest blessing or it's the greatest curse of modern times. And sometimes we forget which it is. Go ahead and give me a like if you think that that quote is about the internet, and then give me a subscribe. If you think that that quote is about the printing press. And if you give me a like and if you thought it was about the internet, you're wrong. 00:03:44:01 - 00:04:13:22 Nick Clason So now you also owe me a subscribe because this quote, believe it or not, was about the printing press in the book, Generation Alpha by Mccrindle and fell. They have a quote that says this. It says no doubt. Very few people today worry about the negative impacts of the printing press. And over time, we will see today's digital equivalent of the printing press, overwhelmingly used to promote human flourishing as well. 00:04:13:25 - 00:04:41:11 Nick Clason You got to remember that tech in the internet and cell phones, we are in its infancy, and Generation Alpha is truly one of the first generations, the the first generation to be born with and use tech from the age that they were born like they were. They grew up with screens and with cell phones and those things in their hands and in their possession and widely available to them. 00:04:41:11 - 00:05:08:22 Nick Clason So the jury is still out. And in a lot of ways, we as parents, we don't even know some of the implications or some of the the downfalls or evils that could be caused by some of this, integration and use of technology. So let's look at this from a parenting perspective. What are three parental control principles when using phones, tech, the internet, and technology to live by? 00:05:08:23 - 00:05:31:07 Nick Clason Well let's check it out. So parental control principle number one is parent your child. Don't let your device parent your child. I hear this a lot. I'm a youth pastor. I've been youth ministry for over 13 years. And, a lot of the questions I get about technology and cell phones and internet and usage is what is the best app for my kids and a lot. 00:05:31:08 - 00:05:57:02 Nick Clason And you got to kind of what I try to uncover with that question is, are you hoping that the app will parent your child and keep them away from all of the dangers of the internet? Because if you are, there is no such thing. Every app has a workaround, every device has a way for a kid to get through every firewall like they there's, way around everything. 00:05:57:02 - 00:06:22:00 Nick Clason And if they want to sin or if they want to be curious, they will find a way. And so one of the recommendations that I make for parents is use the parental control apps. And we'll get to those in just a minute. But but beyond that create moments, natural moments of conversation. And so I have two children. I have an eight year old and I have a six year old, and they are squarely in Gen Alpha. 00:06:22:00 - 00:06:43:23 Nick Clason They don't have phones yet. but they do use technology. We have a Nintendo Switch. They watch YouTube on our our smart TV. But I try to create natural moments of conversation. and so every single Friday morning, I take them out to breakfast or to lunch and, I take them out individually and I just, I invest time in them. 00:06:44:01 - 00:07:05:21 Nick Clason And sometimes it's really meaningful and really monumental, and other times it's just goofy and silly and we're just kind of doing the thing. Okay. But the reason I do that is because there are going to be moments where we need to have some tough conversations down the road, and I don't want, a tough conversation to just have to happen. 00:07:05:21 - 00:07:29:28 Nick Clason And I, I pull one of my kids aside and I'm like, all right, let's talk. Let's have a tough conversation. I want there to be a natural rhythm and a natural momentum of conversation. And so they know every single Friday that we're going to go to breakfast, we're going to go to lunch. And so when that tough conversation does have to come, I can just weave that into a Friday morning or a Friday afternoon time, time period. 00:07:29:28 - 00:07:49:26 Nick Clason And it's not out of the norm for them. It's a regular rhythm of relationship and a regular rhythm of connection. And so find ways as parents, to naturally parent your child. Have those conversations about cell phones. Don't just stick a parent monitoring app on there and hope that that does the job. If you are, they're going to find a way around it. 00:07:49:26 - 00:08:19:23 Nick Clason Instead, get in there, have those conversations, and keep that door of communication open. The second parent, control principle to live by a fight for your children to have real experiences. You know, the amygdala is like the the fight or flight section of the brain, you know, and that amygdala, the ability to to navigate and handle tough moments in life, grows best through real experiences. 00:08:19:25 - 00:08:42:26 Nick Clason According to, screen smart. they say that video games, social media and pornography are all the same levels of addictive screens. And so if you've ever had a kid playing a video game and you just can't get them off of it and they don't seem like themselves, it's because what that, game is doing to their brains, it has the same effect that social media has. 00:08:42:26 - 00:09:14:23 Nick Clason It has the same effect that pornography has on their brain. And so in order to free them from that, in order to give them the the real experience is to grow in their amygdala. You have to fight to give them the most opportunity for real experiences. So hear me obviously, on the Hybrid Ministry show, I'm not against tech and I'm not against phones, but as a parent, the more that you can give your children those real experiences is going to help benefit them and give them opportunities to grow. 00:09:14:25 - 00:09:38:14 Nick Clason And the third parenting principle to live by simply this is just do your best to live in moderation. Too much of one thing is obviously not a great thing, but but too little and and completely shutting it down is also not necessarily a great thing. Look at this. look at this chart here on screen. If you're watching on YouTube. 00:09:38:14 - 00:10:00:07 Nick Clason This comes from one of my favorite books called It's Just a Phase, written by the rethink Group. But I love this graph because you'll see that you have positional influence as a parent, at a younger age, and you have relational influence and at a younger age, positional influence is everything you have with your children. You are their caretaker and your relational influence is really small. 00:10:00:10 - 00:10:21:17 Nick Clason But right here in the middle. And this is where generation Alpha is, this is where middle schoolers is. This is where all your elementary schools are. Your positional influence begins to decrease. They need you less and less. And that's ultimately the goal of parenting. And then your relational influence should continue to be growing, which is why I recommend keep the conversation walls open. 00:10:21:24 - 00:10:44:02 Nick Clason Keep the conversations going so that when you hit this moment of intersection of influence, it's not weird for you to kind of switch roles. And it's not weird for you, and it's not weird for your children. And so in the same way as your children grow older, you're obviously going to trust them with more, including technology and including cell phones. 00:10:44:04 - 00:11:05:26 Nick Clason And you need to build into that. You need to grow into that relational influence, because if you just your kid turned 16, your kid turns 13, your kid turns whatever age that you deem that a cell phone is good, is viable, is ready, and you just drop it in their lap without having the relational influence, it could be disastrous. 00:11:05:29 - 00:11:27:11 Nick Clason So continue to build into that. And as you continue to build into that, look for moments, look for markers, look for ways to determine if your child is ready. And as they get more mature, as you grow in your relational influence and drop that positional influence, it may then be time for you to consider giving your child a cell phone. 00:11:27:14 - 00:11:51:06 Nick Clason So what is my recommended age for giving your kid a cell phone? I mean, truly, as long as you can hold it off and get I get it right. Like, you may be listening to this and you're like, dude, you don't know you have an eight year old and a six year old. And you're right, like I, I would love to not give my kids a cell phone until they're 18 years old, but I don't know if that's realistic. 00:11:51:07 - 00:12:15:19 Nick Clason Right. I would just say you do what's best for you and your family, do what makes the most sense for you and your context and in your family, but hold off giving your kids a phone as long as you can. especially social media like my recommendation. What I want to try to do is I want to keep my kids away from, algorithms and social media and addictive type things like that. 00:12:15:19 - 00:12:38:18 Nick Clason As long as I can, potentially even to the age of 18. and then cell phones, maybe 14, maybe 16 without social media, maybe just texting, maybe just calling. It might be different if you have kids in sports and and they need phones to, to get Ahold of you. But the only thing I'll say about that is I lived all my childhood, go into sports without ever having a phone. 00:12:38:23 - 00:12:59:13 Nick Clason And so we have become accustomed to the luxury that it offers us now. But there was a time in our day and age when it didn't have to happen, and now it feels like it does absolutely have to happen. And so, like I said at the beginning of the video, these are going to be my top three apps with different protections for smartphone. 00:12:59:15 - 00:13:16:14 Nick Clason And I'm so glad that you're here checking it out, because those are going to be included in the very next video, which is linked right here on screen. So go ahead and give that video a tap. If you're watching this in live time, that will drop next Thursday. So make sure that you are subscribed so that you don't miss it. 00:13:16:14 - 00:13:31:06 Nick Clason If you're watching this on repeat, that'll be right here on screen. Watch these videos. And don't forget we are here to make digital discipleship easy, possible, and accessible. So as always, don't forget to stay hybrid.