CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION
TITLE: Traveling the World Together
DURATION: 32:28

Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.Ê

Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection; a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits.Ê Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.Ê

As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way.

Lauren: Today we have Monica Irauzqui. She is a travel speaker, travel educator, and co-owner and vice president of Yampu Tours. Since 1998 Yampu Tours has been providing travelers with individually crafted, private experiences tailored to suit their clientsÕ unique interests and travel tastes. She's here to share a little bit about her wedding with her husband Jose, and how they create their custom travel packages for brides, grooms, and everyone in between. So welcome!

Monica: Thank you. Thanks for having me!

Lauren: So let's start with a basic question. When did you start thinking about getting married?

Monica: So my husband and I, we married within a year of when we met. I met him, and then we went out on another date, and then I had a different date with another guy. And he looked at me like I was crazy. I'm like, ÒThis is New York. I mean, you know, I just met you two days ago!Ó So I went out on that date and then I came home and he's like, ÒOkay, don't do that again!Ó So I didn't! And it was just so wonderful to not be playing games and just to be straightforward. 

We started traveling right away. I think within a month we went to Peru together. And did some trips around Peru. Went to Machu Picchu, which was a dream of mine. And then we went back and then we went to Europe and we got engaged in Sicily. 

Lauren: Wow!

Monica: And then we came back and planned our wedding so yeah, it was a É a whirlwind romance! And we've been together every day since. Since 1998!

Lauren: It sounds like a whirlwind traveling romance! Could you tell me a little bit more about the engagement in Sicily? That sounds amazing!

Monica: Yeah! So we had been traveling around Europe and he hadn't been to Sicily. So we went to Sicily. I hadn't been either. And you know, it was a budget trip. You know, we rented a car. We went to all these beautiful little villages and stayed in small little hotels. And we had gotten to that our last destination in Sicily, Taormina, and we were just walking around the street and he just took a É a napkin and folded it up like a ring and asked me to marry him.

Lauren: ThatÕs so lovely!

Monica: Yeah!

Lauren: So from there forward, what were your ideas of what you wanted in a wedding? 

Monica: Well, he said why don't we start trying to have a baby before we got married! So he said É his exact words were something like ÒYou're not getting any younger!Ó He doesn't mince his words! ÒSo why don't we start?Ó

And I don't think he realized how fast that could happen. But anyway, so that's why we were a little bit in a rush to get this done quickly. So we were living in the West Village, so we went to a nearby church and they let us arrange our wedding there. We went through the classes and everything. 

We started a business at the same time. And we needed to move because my apartment was pretty small and he had been subleasing. So a lot of like moving parts at the same time, starting the business, you have a child on the way. 

We were on a budget so I went to the East Village, and I went to a small new designer. They had a street full of new designers there and I liked to shop on that street. So I went into a dressmaker and I asked her for an off-white dress. And it was kind of an A-shape, you know, the bottom portion of it and fitted at the top, simple spaghetti straps.

And actually, one of my friends had to point out that I probably wasn't supposed to be in a Catholic church with spaghetti straps so we got a little see through jacket to go with it. And it really was pretty. Because it was above the ankles, you could show off your beautiful shoes, you know? A friend bought me a pair of really nice Manolo Blahnik shoes. So that really made me feel special. And then it had little glass balls sewn on it, so that was really pretty. But very simple. Super, super simple. 

And then my husband had another friend who had a Vera Wang veil. And my mind was just so into simple. It came with a short one and a long one and I was going to wear the short one. And then one of my friends said ÒYou should have a long one!Ó Now when I look at those pictures, I'm so glad! And I should call her again today and tell her how grateful I am because that really made the look of the dress, you know, into something wedding-like. Because I tend to go for simple and not too showy. 

But your wedding day is a day to do something a little bit extravagant. So I'm really happy that she did that, because I wouldn't have thought of doing a really long veil like that. It just wouldn't have been in my toolbox. But she loaned it to me for the wedding and it was really beautiful and really made it special.

Lauren: It sounds absolutely spectacular! I would love to know because you got to custom design what you wanted for your dress, even though you were looking for something simple and you were working with a designer, what were your initial inspirations for what you decided to have made? 

Monica: Yeah, it was just this Grace Kelly dress I had seen in the movie. It was simple, fitted, beautiful fabric. It just really looked good on my body shape and type. And a simple fabric above the ankle so you could showcase these beautiful shoes. And when I did the headpiece I had it made out of orchids É orchids along where the veil goes. It was simple but elegant. That's what I wanted to get across.

Lauren: It sounds exactly that! The way you describe is like the beauty and the simplistic, which I think is absolutely lovely! And I wonder beyond the beauty and the simplistic, you clearly, you've mentioned them twice, so I want to know, could you tell me about your shoes?

Monica: Yeah. They were pretty heels, off white. A couple different kinds of satin I think. And again, just those simple lines. 

Lauren: Do you think that your outfit that day put you in a specific mindset? And if so, do you have an adjective or a phrase that would describe it?

Monica: Confidence. Yeah, I feel I had a lot of confidence that day that just came together so beautifully. And I wasn't wearing anything É like I wasn't wearing expensive jewelry. The woman who made my dress also made some glass bead earrings for me and my mother-in-law had given me a little necklace with a ruby on it.

Because I loved all the details, you know the orchids, and this dress just the way I wanted it and those shoes, I felt very confident. And that's not, not always the adjective I would describe myself with. So it was wonderful!

Lauren: When people saw you in this gown, do you think that it exuded confidence?

Monica: I wish I could say yes! I had a list of like 83 things to do the two days before the wedding! And my two maids of honor that were with me were helping me with this list. So I'm sure that they didn't think I looked confident! They were probably like really happy that I made it there and that everything was done!

But my husband was just one of these people that didn't play games. And I think that also made me feel really confident. Like I just knew that no matter what happened today, everything was going to be okay and that we had done the best we could to pull off something beautiful and elegant for our friends and family. It was a small wedding. 

I just remember there's a story! When we were at the altar my husband started É he got a tear. I think it was a tear. And I started laughing! I started laughing and couldn't stop laughing in the middle of the ceremony! So then I look at my maid of honor and she's laughing and the best man is laughing! And so I think it was just a joyful day! It was a dress that made me feel joyful! It was a situation that made me feel happy and joyful and secure. It was really fun! 

We have had this wonderful adventure together. For the last 23 years we have been traveling the world! And at that time, if I look back on it, I had no idea how awesome this journey was going to be. I wonder if I had known if that would have made be nervous! I was just really calm and confident and happy and, and just É I just had faith. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I just had faith that it was going to work out.

Lauren: Well clearly it's paid off! You've been working together and developing this life together. Could you tell me a little bit more about your company and how those two things go hand in hand?

Monica: We were almost about to open a shoe store and our lawyer wouldn't let us sign the lease. There was some clause in there he didn't like. My husband's second idea was to sell people a package of what we had bought when we went to Peru, and kind of put together the guides and the drivers and the trains and everything that it entails.  So he had this idea and so he just started building this website. So we worked on it together, we got all the Peru trips together. 

And then I had my baby. And when my baby was six months old we went to Chile. We went to Patagonia, like the southern point of Chile. And we took this six-month-old baby with us and we had an amazing time. We got to see glaciers and do little hikes and we put him in like a Baby Bjorn. Then we came back we added Chile to the website. 

So what we've spent our life doing is finding the most special experiences for people in each and every country that we sell. And we go back to the country several times, make sure we get to all the off the beaten track locations. We really want to know each country in depth. And then we put together these amazing honeymoons, vacations, baby moons, multi-generational trips. WeÕve done a 70th birthday for a grandma in the Amazon. 

Lauren: Wow!

Monica: Yeah! I've done proposals, like wedding proposals. I did one in Panama. Oh, this is a good story! The guy had a pearl ring. It belonged to his grandfather. And he went diving with his wife under the water and then pulled out the ring under the water. And she had this pretty red manicure! Looks really good in the photo! I don't know where that photo is. But it looks really good in the photo because you know, they're underwater, sheÕs got this little red manicure, and he's got this pearl ring and he asked her to marry him. So that's one of the proposals that I helped organize.

Lauren: Wow!

Monica: Yeah, and we've done family trips and educational trips and É I've done a lot of boys trips you know where they do their goals and they help support each other in business and they do these adventure trips. So I do that. I've done girlsÕ retreats, spiritual trips, just about anything you can think of.

Lauren: Where did you guys go for your honeymoon? Was it to Chile like you had said when you brought your child or did you go on a different honeymoon?

Monica: We didn't go on a honeymoon! Right? No, we kind of thought É we kind of felt like the trip where we got engaged was our honeymoon because on that trip we did Switzerland É so my husband went to boarding school in Switzerland so he took me to Zuoz. Zuoz is this cute little town É it started snowing in the middle of June. I mean it was amazing! He took me to the town Villars [Villars-sur-Ollon] where he went to school. 

And then we went down É we drove through É and this is a great drive. If you love drives, you have to do this! Drive from Switzerland to Italy and stop in Lake Como. 

Lauren: Mm hmm. 

Monica: And then we went all the way down É I think É we've been Italy so many times IÕm trying to remember what we did on that É oh, we went to a wedding in Portofino. So we drove all the way over there. And then we went to Sicily and that's where we got engaged. 

So we kind of felt like we had a lot of moving parts right then. And we've had so many beautiful trips. And my husband and I, when we travel, we, we get along the best when we're traveling.
We're just really É and that's not easy. Some people don't travel well together. But we, we did. We, we really do get along really well when we travel. So we've done a lot of trips together. Like one a year, just the two of us together, and then also a lot of trips with our kids.

Lauren: Mm hmm. Do you think there's a reason that you guys get along so well while you're traveling? is it because it's just you're happier, or you feel like there's something new coming? 

Monica: Well we both love travel. We both are excited about it. And we have the similar travel style. And there's no control issues, you know, when you're traveling between É there can be, but there's not with us, because our style is so similar. 

And he also knows, like, as we grew older, I got more É I guess more demanding or more É more finicky. So he started letting me make sure that I approve the hotels. You know, and that way, I wouldn't complain if I didn't like it.

IÕm not a big complainer. But when you make your living É well I'm a tour operator, I'm not travel agent. So I have to go to every destination and I have to choose the hotels that we put into our tours. And so I have to inspect in every city, probably 30, 40 hotels. And I pick based on the price, location. And I like to have something really beautiful and cute even if it's at the lower price range. So because I'm doing that constantly that's where I kind of get a little bit like, you know, if something's not nice, it bothers me. But, yeah, we have the same similar style so it's really easy. 

And then also, like, when we were traveling with our children and when we travel alone, you're focused on the travel and you're focused on each other, and less on your phone and less on your emails and housework and the laundry, you know. 

So those minute things in the day that are boring at home. TravelÕs not like that. I mean, everything's exciting. We're doing all these exciting, you know, things. You know, everywhere we go, we try to do as many things that are active and immersive into the culture and really fun. So you tend to just be happier when you're doing that, and more in the moment. And living in the moment is when I'm the happiest.

Lauren: I wonder for those couples who might want to É to hire you or work with you who are unsure of where to go, or where to travel, maybe people who don't really know, but they want to explore something new, how do you help people choose certain things?

Monica: So, when they come to me, we usually start with the time of year and what they like to do when they travel. Some people want to go to a resort and have somebody wait on them all the time, and just relax and read a book and really unwind. And they probably can do that without me. 

I plan the trips where people are moving a little more, they're doing a lot more activities. If they want kind of a tour where you're seeing a lot of different things and you're moving around, then I would be the right fit. And then we talk about what time of year they're going and what they like. And usually people have a few ideas. 

Then the time of year can really make a difference because if you want to go to Asia and you're getting married when it's rainy season there, I might, you know, steer you to Africa or South America instead. So the time of year is really important. And then what activities they want to do when they're there. So if you tell me, for example, that you're a hiker, then my mind immediately goes to Peru, Patagonia, Nepal, Italy. There's a beautiful hike in Italy, along the little villages along the sea. 

So, you know, if you just tell me what you like É and, you know, if you like É for example, you like elephants, my mind goes to Kenya or Botswana. Or we could do Laos or Thailand. If you say you want cheetahs, then, you know É so it goes on and on and on! So you basically just have to tell me a word and IÕll just spit out where you have to go!

Lauren: A veritable travel encyclopedia! I think thatÕs É

Monica: Yeah!

Lauren: É itÕs amazing! And I also wonder, thinking about all of that, because we're in a time where travel is so complicated, we're living with COVID now, for traveling now do you have any recommendations for how, like to do it safely, or to how to stay in the country and still be able to enjoy that without, spreading a virus?

Monica: I have a lot of ideas on that. First of all, there are a few countries that we can travel to today. So we're in January 2021. And, for example, Kenya. You can travel to Kenya. There's a direct flight I think from New York, I might be wrong, you might have to go through Istanbul. But when you're on that fight, everyone's going to be tested. They have to have a test to get in. And I think if you fly through Istanbul, now Turkey has to have a test to get in. 

So that's good. That's good news because everyone will have tested before they got on the flight. So the chances of someone being on a flight that has COVID is now cut, let's say in half, okay? Why do I not say zero? Because some people will get the test and then they get this false security and they go out and see people without their mask. So I'm asking everyone who travels to a destination where they were required to have a test to stay home that 72-hour period between when you get the test, and when you, you know, get on the plane. 

And then next thing I would say to do is not eat on the plane. So eat in the airport before you go. And also, it's not good for your digestion to eat a lot the plane or to drink a lot on the plane. So don't eat on the plane, have your water and slip it under your mask. So don't take your mask off to drink, just lift it a little and drink because people are walking up and down the aisle and so you just want to keep safe the whole time. 

And then once you get there, and the example in Kenya is you'll go through, they inspect all your paperwork, and if you didn't get a test, you could test there and then you'd have to stay in a local hotel until they got the results. And then you get your bags, you go out and the driver meets you with a sign with your name on it. And the drivers in Kenya, what they're doing is cleaning off the bags before they put them in the car. They do the sanitizing of the bags, and then they put them in the car and you sanitize your hands. 

And by the way, guys, who are listening, I'm like rubbing my hands like you can see! 

So you sanitize your hands and get in the truck. AmericaÕs so free, it's really hard to keep us under control here. But most of the countries that we sell have a little more tight of a rein over their citizens. So they do really take it seriously. They'll stop you randomly, make sure you have the paperwork. 

Rwanda, crazily enough, was doing really well, because they were randomly testing people from the beginning. Like on the street, they would stop and randomly test people. So they didn't have a big problem. 

And then when you get to your Safari camp you're in like these beautiful tented camps, theyÕre hundreds of feet from the next tent. You're eating outdoors, well-spaced from anyone else. YouÕre in a private safari vehicle with your guide driver out in the wilderness. 

And I had some friends that just came back. And they were just like, ÒI felt so free, I finally was able to let my shoulders down and breathe. And I just felt like a big weight had been lifted off my head when I was there, and my heart.Ó So yeah, if you can get there, then you will have a really safe and beautiful adventure.

Lauren: Traveling is all about safety from the get go. And if you do it right, especially being in another country, most other countries are very much taking this seriously in comparison to what the United States has done, without us getting political. 

But then beyond that, I think also it's that relief that travel can really offer.  That getting away and outside of your own comfort zone does bring that like weight off your shoulders feeling. That's always how I've traveled and that's why I love traveling. So I É I think that's that is exactly an amazing way to look at it. 

Monica: One thing I just want to stress again, is that it's your personal responsibility to keep yourself safe, you know. So for example, I'm not I'm not recommending anybody go partying in Mexico. I might send you to Mexico to do something off the beaten track, but I'm not recommending you know, partying or, big get togethers. I'm talking about secluded nature lodges, and you doing all the right steps yourself. So getting the test, quarantining at home, you know, not taking a mask off in a crowd, staying six feet from people. A lot of the responsibility is going to be on the traveler themselves.

Lauren: Which it should be. Everyone should be taking the proper precautions and safety and respect for everyone else around them and themselves. So I think, you know, you're just giving them the opportunity to go see things and be safe at the same time.

Monica: Yeah.

Lauren: Well, I have a couple more questions. They popped into my head and they kind of backtrack so I apologize. But I never asked you what your husband wore to your wedding. 

Monica: The friend that was with him when we met, his family owns Etro, which is a high end men's clothing brand in New York City. They have a store up on Madison Avenue. And they have those Italian suit makers right there in the store. And so he went in, he got fitted and he wore a beautiful É oh, I hope I get this right. I believe it was a blue suit but tailored to fit him perfectly. And a white shirt. And I think he had on a silver tie. 

So he was very É oh gosh! Now I wish I had looked at the wedding picture before we have talked! That's so funny! It was all É I was all about me, you know! But he was a little bit late, because yeah, he went up to get his shirt at the last minute.

Lauren: Mm hmm.

Monica: So that was a little freaky, but É

Lauren: Your eyes are lighting up when you're thinking about it so it's clearly a positive memory! And I É I É my other question is in addition to what he wore, did he see you beforehand or did you maintain a tradition of not seeing each other that day? Because some some people maintain it. Some people don't. I was just wondering if you had.

Monica: No, he didn't see me before. And also my father didn't meet him before, because my father had come in the day of the wedding and he left the same day. So he was walking me up the aisle and said, ÒWhich one? Which one are you marrying?Ó So anyway!

Lauren: Well clearly, it's É it's all good because it's been working out! That's so funny, though! 
I would love to know do you plan bachelorette parties, bachelor parties or any sort of like wedding affiliated travel experiences for people who might be going to like travel for whether it's a bachelor or bachelorette party? 

Monica: Oh yeah! Yeah, we could do some fun things for bachelors or bachelorettes. Maybe a motorcycle adventure for the guys like in Vietnam, sleeping in a cave and going through the country on a motorcycle. I think that it could be fun for the guys. 

For the girls, I did a trip in Mexico with my girlfriends in January of 2019. The trip was amazing! We rented a villa, and I brought a yoga teacher and a workout teacher. And my yoga teacher is actually my really good friend who teaches meditation and positive ways to work on your spiritual self. Because we all work on our bodies and we work on our minds and we work on eating right but we neglect our spiritual self. 

So she teaches us yoga but she also teaches us fantastic meditations, ways to help our anxiety. And I think this would be great for a bachelorette party because you're learning a life skill too while you're there. And then we danced like crazy! We drink so many margaritas!

We went to release turtles into the ocean. We went to this beautiful art installation, it's a big dome on the end of this beach. And when I say big, I'm talking hundreds of feet tall and wide. And you go up this long stairway and you sing into it and the music reverberates back at you. And we had cocktails up there, we got all dressed up. 

And so we were dressing up every night and drinking and having fun and dancing and doing these sundowner activities. And so I think that would be great for a bachelorette party because it's just a trip that really cleans your soul before you get back to the stress and the details and the beauty of a wedding.

Lauren: That sounds amazing! Sign me up! I'm ready! And I guess the other question is, do you have any other advice whether it's for the wedding itself, for what you what you wear, any part of the process going on a honeymoon traveling any of the things for newlyweds?

Monica: Yeah! I think, could be nice if you're on a budget and if you are older and already have everything you need for your home, it could be nice to ask for gift certificates for travel. So with Yampu we can sell everyone a gift certificate, and they could you know, give it as a gift, you know, and they could help pay for your honeymoon. And that way you could plan something spectacular, so that could be nice. 

And I think that É I feel like leaving on a trip the day after a wedding could be stressful for people. I wonder if it could be stressful for people? And if and also, the finances of weddings right now are pretty expensive. So it might be nice to maybe even do it six months or a year later. Although if you wait, you might get busy buying houses and other things and not get to it.

But I think a couple of days at least to come down from all the emotions from the wedding É could be nice to do it a little bit later. 

So it's just a hard, hard year to travel, a hard year to plan. But I think that when we do get to travel, we're going to appreciate it even more than we did, if that's possible. We're going to appreciate it more. And, and yeah, it's all about just keeping safe, keeping your family safe. And when you do travel, going to destinations and going with people who are going to keep you safe.

Lauren: Thank you so much for being here and sharing. But before we wrap up, I wonder if there's anything I haven't talked about or if you want to tell us where we can find Yampu tours?

Monica: Yeah, IÕd just like to say that I would really enjoy helping anyone who's listening to this podcast plan honeymoon or their proposal, or their jet travel with your young families or multi-generational families. I'd love to help you plan a trip. You can find me at YAMPU.COM. Y-A-M like Mary P-U.com. You can email, call, or fill out the little form on the website, or there's a little chat. So any way that you like to communicate, you can find it right there on YAMPU.com. 

And I'm MonicaI Irauzqui Experiences on Instagram. And if you click on my bio, you also can find my travel school where I teach other people to do for a living what I've been doing for a living as a business inside of a business at YAMPU. So that's all there on my Instagram bio.

Lauren: Thank you so much Monica.

Monica: You're welcome.