CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION TITLE: 10 Days and Counting DURATION: 34:59 Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.Ê Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection; a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits.Ê Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.Ê As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way. Lauren: Today we have Steven and Lee Preston. They are the hosts of 10 Days and Counting, a marriage, dating, and relationship advice podcast. The name comes from the fact that they met online and got married in ten days. ItÕs a second marriage for them both, and this year in December 2020, which is this month, they will celebrate their eighth wedding anniversary. And between them they have five children, ages 24, 21,18, 15 and 14. When they're not recording their podcast, Lee is a SANE-certified forensic rape crisis nurse manager and director of real estate, while Stephen is an art director and graphic designer. Well, I'm so excited to have you both! So I guess for me, the elephant in the room is wow, ten days! As someone who's been engaged for almost two years, ten days is so fast! Lee: You are so much wiser! Stephen: Yeah! We don't try to hide the fact that it was a very poorly thought-out decision with no plan and we would highly ill advise anybody to take the same route we did. It was very spur of the moment, it was very unfair to our own children. And there were a lot of problems, you know? I mean, when people hear that story and then they see how we are together, it's almost like what you see on social media where people seem to look a certain way, and you just want to have that life. And I know that people look at us. And, you know, it's like, ÒOh, it's this romantic story of meeting in 10 days, and then getting married!Ó You know, we never went on a date! We spent three days on the phone after we met online. And, but you know, they hear that story and it's like, ÒWow, how amazing and whatever!Ó And it's like, ÒYeah, but it was a rough first year, you know?Ó Rough first couple years with a lot of hurdles, a lot of obstacles and a lot of things that we needed to work through, so É Lee: There certainly was no wisdom in it when you consider that there were others involved. And I would say that was probably the, you know, the only concern, looking back. That should have been a larger concern for us. His children were young, but mine were 16 and 12 at the time, both boys. And so I had gone through a pretty difficult divorce and a lot of life changes for them as a whole. So it, you know, so it was definitely difficult for them. And I think learning that it's so important to be able to ask your children to forgive you, and to be able to say, ÒHey, I was wrong, and I am so sorry!Ó you'll be surprised how accepting your children are, especially as they mature. They'll look back on that and remember that my mom made mistakes and she was willing to say she was sorry, and it'll help them and teach them. Lauren: But it sounds like despite all of those difficult hurdles, and changing your life so drastically in such a short time that you have come out of it with something really beautiful and something really strong, which is so lovely! And I kind of want to know what was catalyst to say ÒLet's go get married?Ó Was there a specific moment for that? Stephen: Well, I don't know. Like, I think, you know, Lee É I had said something about us getting married. And she's like, ÒWhy not this Friday? And IÕm like ÒOkay, sure.Ó Lee: ÒAfter work! LetÕs do that!Ó Stephen: ÒYeah, after work! We'll do it after work.Ó I'll go to TJ Maxx and get a dress and, you know, I already had a suit. And we'll just go to the courthouse and we'll do it. I think in the back of our minds. You know, there were things in our divorce agreements, where, like, neither one of us could have somebody, like spend the night if we were dating somebody or whatever. And at the time we were about two hours apart? About an hour and a half? I lived in Blairsville, Georgia, she was in Cleveland, Tennessee. And so the travel time, you know, back and forth constantly and you know, you're married now. You want to be together all the time. And we were very, very comfortable with each other. Lee: Also I was raised very religious and very strict so like, spending the night with somebody that you're not married to is like a huge deal for me and also for him as well. And so, you know, looking back, I certainly -- no judgment to people who do or don't -- but I think that we made the right choice for ourselves at that time. However, I probably would have been like, ÒAh, spending the night over at your house, not such a bad idea! And let's learn a little more about each other!Ó But we just, we just clicked so easily and so well. And we spent three days literally! I was in nursing school at the time so when I wasn't in school or at work, we were on the phone talking. So we learned what you might learn about someone in a year of dating talking on the phone in a few days time. And I can honestly say that we do not É we don't fuss. We don't argue. We really don't have any disagreements. And had we not had children we probably É we may never have really had any disagreements in the eight years we've been married. The psychology of things, you can dig deep and probably try to figure out why we did what we did. And I could probably talk for, you know, a long time to tell you some of my history and why I did it. Because I can É you know, I've definitely learned things about myself over the years from insecurities to bad previous marriages and things like that, that you're grasping for some happiness in something like that. I'm sure a psychologist would love to get a hold of our ten days and break it apart! Stephen: The other thing I would add too is that, you know, Lee said that we don't fuss, we don't fight. People talk about how relationships or marriages are so much work. You know, you'll see it in social media posts, and you'll hear counselors talk about it or whatever. And for me, I don't look at it as work, I look at it as learning. And we have been in this relationship and have learned how to communicate with each other. So those times where either my tone was off, or she wasn't understanding what I was trying to say, or I wasn't understanding what she was trying to say, taking those experiences and then filing them somewhere so when that when a similar situation comes back, you learn from that. You know, I mean, it's just it's like school every day. Added with the fact that we are just really good friends, like we love each other's personalities and we love to hang out. So, you know, it's just something that took a lot of work in the beginning, but we stayed committed to it and had some compromises. And we just É we just gel, you know? And that was the reason for starting the podcast, to try to help other people who are either struggling or who are about to be married, or dating, you know, or whatever to say, ÒLook, this, these are the experiences that we've gone through.Ó We try to be as transparent as possible. And we really just want to try to help people. Bring that bring that divorce rate down, you know? Lauren: Focusing in a little bit back on those ten days, obviously you decided to get married, was it on day ten that you decided or was it on day five? How much time did you have to prepare from, you know, deciding to do it on -- you mentioned a Friday -- to the time where you said I do? Stephen: I think it was day seven. Lee: Yeah. We didn't have very much time, there was very little time to make any kind of plans or anything. And so it probably was about day seven that we decided to do that. Might have even been like day nine. I just É because I remember going into work and I was scared to tell anybody because I figured they would all try to talk me out of it. And one of my co-workers just flipped her lid and she like grabbed me. And she's like, ÒNo Lee, you cannot do this. Don't do this!Ó And so you know, and then I talked to her. And then after I talked to her, she actually felt very good about what I was doing and everything. So it was very fast! Like and such a blur it was so fast. Lauren: So considering how fast it was, what were your thoughts going into day ten for what you were going to wear and how that was going to show, you know, sort of a love letter to each other? Lee: I had been married before and I had had a big wedding. And I was raised, like I said, very religious and all those wonderful things. So I had a lot of parameters that I had to stay within. For this wedding, we were both broke as convicts. You know, it's always funny because I'm a huge clotheshorse! Like I love clothes and if I were rich I probably would wear something once and then I would donate it to someone and wear something different. Because what you have on, it makes you feel so different. It gives you confidence, makes you feel better. You know, you gain a little weight, you buy a new outfit, it'll make you feel a little better about yourself, you know, all of those kinds of things. So even though he had seen me in hardly any outfit that I owned, it was still like I wanted something new so that I would feel that going through this process. And so we got married at the courthouse and I remember thinking I really can't afford to buy a dress. But I went to TJ Maxx and looked and found a dress for like $14 on the clearance rack. And it was so incredibly cute and it was sleeveless! I showed my shoulders and I showed É my mother or my grandmother might not -- my mom does not care actually -- but I was like ÒMy father and my grandfather, my grandmother will not approve of this dress!Ó And doggone it, I am almost 40 years old and I'm putting it on and wearing it. So I guess a little bit of me was, even at 39, trying to be a little rebellious because I had never really done anything rebellious. Maybe that's why I got married in ten days! Stephen: Yeah. I mean for me it was the newest suit that I had. And I think the only planning that we actually did was the fact that it was like a tan, in the brown family. And that happened to be the color of the dress that she had gotten, that she purchased. So we matched. And the dress that she wore, like it spoke volumes as far as who she is. Like it definitely did fit her and it was beautiful! Even in itÕs É whatÕs the word I want É even in its lacking of the quality of being ÒweddingesqueÓ if I can say it that way. It definitely was more than what the courthouse was probably used to seeing. You know, I mean, it was it was beautiful. I mean, she just looked so stunning. Lee: Well you know, TJ Maxx has some great clothes! I donÕt know if y'all have been where you are but É Lauren: Oh yeah! Lee: É but you can definitely find some name brand, you know, great things. And so I just really lucked up that day. It was like a nude, kind of a nude beige color. I wanted it to kind of feel like maybe what you would do at an outdoor wedding or a little simple family affair or something like that. So that's kind of what I had in mind. And I really just got lucky that I found that as easily as I did. Stephen: It was almost like the heavens telling us that it was okay to do this -- budget wise, the time it took you find it, the color, I mean it was just meant to be. Lee: ItÕs still hanging in my closet. We live in a 680 square foot condo. So my closet space is very limited. And I keep my offseason clothes at my parents but but I still will like put it on and go ÒCan I still fit into it? Oh, I can! It's stretchy!Ó So I can say ÒOh, I can still fit my wedding dress!Ó And it's funny because my first wedding dress É never wanted to see it again. Couldn't tell you where it is today. Like, I have no idea what happened to that dress. So it's you know, it's a very different experience as well. Lauren: Yeah, I mean itÕs É that's freedom for $14. Like, why not? Why not? Why not take it? For the price and for the quality! It's this experience that you cherish and it doesn't matter what the price tag is. ItÕs a matter of who's standing across from you and the value that you're putting into that marriage. Lee: Certainly. Lauren: Did it take you long to find it? Lee: It didnÕt. I found it right away. That's what I'm saying. It really was like just this moment where I saw that dress and I used to go shopping like on my lunch break. And people are like, ÒIt's amazing how you can find something so quickly!Ó And I'm like, ÒI know when I look at something if it's gonna work or not.Ó So I usually can just go through a place very quickly and determine if there's going to be something there that I'm gonna to like. So I went straight to the back of the store where the clearance stuff was. And, and it was just É it was just there. I mean, they don't have a large selection typically. And the TJ Maxx that I went to when I go there now, they have nothing like that any longer. It's like all sportswear. Lauren: Could you tell me a little bit about the ceremony and when you guys actually did get married and what that was like for the two of you? How you felt? Stephen: I think she came to my apartment, and then we got in the same car, and then we drove to the courthouse. And it was unbelievable. My physical attraction to her was already there, but when she showed up in that dress, I was like, ÒHoly cow!Ó Lee: Actually, we got ready at your apartment. I think I brought the dress and everything. Stephen: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. ThatÕs right. Lee: We got ready there. Stephen: We have never actually talked about this. Yeah. Yeah, we did. We got ready at my apartment and went to the courthouse. You see these two very well-dressed people going into the courthouse, like you definitely know what's going on right? Like you're not there for a first appearance or anything like that! So we walk in and I don't even know how it came up because we shared with the judge that this was only like the tenth day of our relationship. And he just kind of looked at us for a little bit and he was gonna go ahead and perform the ceremony but he wanted us to come back in a year because he didn't think that we were going to make it. There was no way he thought we were gonna still be together. There was no aisle to walk down. Lee: Yeah, it was just the two of us. Stephen: Yeah. Lee: Remember me telling you bad choices? My children had not even met him when we got married. So they had met him via computer but they had not met him in person. So another poor choice. But yeah, it was just us. My parents were not okay with it. But they tried to be supportive. They actually sent us flowers that day to his apartment as a congratulatory, but I think deep down they were like ÒWhat in the world is happening?Ó And I had been so unhappy for so long, you know, they wanted me to be happy, but they also wanted the best for me. They were concerned, you know, just about finances and relationship, not knowing someone and you know, all of the things that I had been through previously. And then the rest of my extended family other than my brother cut me off after that. So they were not okay with me getting remarried. And so I've actually had basically no contact with any of my family since he and I got married as a result of that. That was one of the reasons we didn't tell a lot of people and went ahead and did it quickly. Now, you know, thinking back and reflecting, there would have been no support for that any way. And I knew that all along. So yeah, It was a É it was a stressful day. It was exciting, but it was also very stressful and kind of a sad day when it's reflected on in that sense, Lauren: Understandably, that's extremely upsetting that not everyone was supportive. Lee: I used to really, you know, kind of just ache over my children and always doing what was right for them and not getting a divorce because of them and things like that. And one day my mom sat me down and we watched this old movie and I cannot remember the name of, but it basically was this woman who spent her whole life making sure that her children were happy and doing everything for her children. And then they grew up and left her. And then she was alone and there was no one there. My mom basically was like, ÒI wanted you to see this because you have to understand that your life is important too. And your children are going to have their own lives. And you have to be healthy mentally.Ó And so that was a É an excellent life lesson, as well. Lauren: Do you guys ever think about doing another sort of ceremony or renewing of vows or reception where you could invite the people who couldn't be there with you that day, like your kids? Stephen: No É Lee: I was waiting for him to answer É Stephen: É but we, we actually É I surprised her on our fifth anniversary. We renewed our vows in Vegas at the Elvis Chapel of Love thing. Lee: Yeah, it was so much fun! Stephen: There's so many of them. I think they're all called Elvis Chapel of something. Lee: IÕm a huge Elvis fan so yeah that was É Stephen: Yeah, she's a huge Elvis fan so I secretly surprised her. I think mom and dad got to watch it because it was also broadcast online. Lee: That was fun. And we actually did it in March. So we always said, you know, since we got married so close to Christmas, we would make March our actual, like, our new anniversary so we could afford to do something. Stephen: Another bad decision. DonÕt get married É donÕt get married around Christmas time. You already don't have money, and now you're married and now there's these additional financial problems. And yeah, Christmas is not a good time to get married É unless you're an elf! And I É I was waiting to see what he would say, because I think about it all the time. You know, I'm like so two more years it'll be ten. So at ten years, if we did, and then I'm like, ÒAh, why bother!Ó like, because it's like well whoÕs gonna come? I mean, our children obviously would come, my parents would come and my brother probably. But it's like the relationships that we've built along the years have meant so much. And it's like the ceremony part of it really isn't as important as the relationships that we built with our family. So I think a celebration of going to dinner and everybody being together. And you know, and something like that we might É we might do as a large family, and everybody's older and more mature, you know, and things like that now, which is nice. But I've actually played that out in my head. And I've walked down the street and actually found like the perfect wedding dress. I was walking one day, and I was like, ÒAh, if I could afford that!Ó I actually took a picture of it and sent it. It was like, ÒHey, if I ever get married again or if we renew our vows, can I wear this dress?Ó And it was just beautiful so, so I do think about it. Stephen: Let me rephrase that. I've thought about it. We as a couple have never talked about it. Lee: No we havenÕt. Stephen: But yeah, I've definitely thought about it. You know, but like I said, at the same time, it's, it would be a very intimate thing if we did it, because there would be very few people that we are so close to that we would want there. And I think that's the other aspect about weddings in general. And please Lauren I'm not trying to rain on your upcoming wedding parade. But, you know for me, my thought on the whole thing is it's like É and too this is this is 52 years of life, right? It's not like just a teenagers view of things. So it's like, if we were to do it all over again, it would be very small, it would be very intimate, and it would be the people that are close to us. You know, that know our story, that have invested something in our lives and that we've also invested in. Because to me, that's really the way it should be. You know, I think the history behind actually having a wedding is to make it known that these two people are no longer available, right? Lauren: Mm hmm. Stephen: And to announce that to as big a crowd as possible. But when you think about what the ceremony actually represents, to me that should be a much more intimate thing. There's other ways that I can let people know that she is no longer on the market. You know, her Facebook status is, in this day and age, is good enough! Or as many pictures with her on Instagram as we can possibly take the let them know ÒHey, I'm the guy!Ó But yeah, it's definitely something that I just I feel like should just be É be way more intimate. Lee: To counter his point, it's a huge celebration and so a lot of people want a lot of people there to celebrate with them. But I do agree with him. We take a wedding and make it so much about others, and pleasing other people, from the dress we buy to the food we're going to have to the people that we invite, or even to the wedding party, right? So who's telling us who has to be in the wedding party? My grandmother told me who had to be in mine. So itÕs a very much pleasing of others. And so often we forget about who it's for and why we're doing it, and it gets caught up in all of the other ends and not about the people that are getting married and the lives that are being committed to one another so É Lauren: Marriage is a union and it doesn't matter who the spectators are. You don't need spectators to have a relationship. Lee: Absolutely! Lauren: You don't need spectators to have unity between two people. Lee: Actually, the less spectators you invite, your relationshipÕs probably gonna be better with less. Lauren: Yeah, well, I actually -- and I don't have the statistics in front of me -- but I saw an article the other day, I wish I knew the title where it said that the price of your engagement ring actually is directly related to the percentage chance of you getting a divorce. Lee: ThatÕs why we did so well É Stephen: Oh yeah! Lee: É because we went to Walmart and got our wedding rings! Stephen: Yeah! They were actually thumb rings. We decided we were going to be way different since this was such a -- I almost said abnormal -- different way of getting married and doing it quickly. We had we had actually thought well, we'll just É we'll do thumb rings, we won't do the third finger. And so we went and got thumb rings, and I actually still wear mine. Lee: I don't wear mine anymore. I don't really know why, but I did upgrade to like a regular ring a couple of years after we got married. Stephen: Yeah. Yeah. Lee: So we have a really good chance because Walmart rings and a TJ Maxx dress. And no É no price on the a É on the suit so I think we were É weÕre heading the right direction! Stephen: DidnÕt have to rent a reception hall Lee: We went out to eat, like first time ever. Yeah, we hadn't even been out to eat before we got married. So it was like our first dinner and eating in front of each other I think so. Yeah, itÕs crazy. It's still crazy when I think about it! Lauren: Now that you're talking about it, what was that dinner like? What did you guys talk about? Lee: We had talked about everything already! Stephen: Our conversations were just really deep and really focused. For me, my perspective was we had been through so much in our first marriages that we knew what we wanted and what we didn't want. And there was no fear there. There was no trepidation about what to ask, and no trepidation about what the answer could possibly be. We were both really like just basically in agreement on everything. We agreed that we shouldn't spend the night together, what role God was going to play in our lives, and how we were gonna É I don't know if the disciplining of children came up during those conversations É Lee: No that was later. Stephen: É but we did end up, you know, working that out. Lee: And I've loosened up a lot too. Religion has definitely taken a totally different turn for me in the last eight years as well. And I think because of losing my family and all of that was attached to religious reasons, you know, so I É I definitely have a very different perspective and outlook on religion and that part of my life, which could be a whole Ônother podcast, but you know, it just É It's amazing how I had lived in such a bubble my entire life. I got married just a couple of weeks after I turned nineteen the first time, and I was married for 18 years. So for me, I had just lived in just a bubble and I was so naive. And so even at my age of gosh, we've been married eight years and I'm 46. I was 38 when we got married. So I mean I was not a baby. I was, you know, it seems so young now É Stephen: HereÕs a funny tidbit. She never had a drink until she met me. Lee: Yeah, I think É well, I had like, I had had like a drink of alcohol a couple of times, but like a sip, but like a full on actually drinking something, yeah, that's true. I had not ever done that until I was 40. So yeah, it was just a very, very strict. I had some immediate regrets, like not necessarily at dinner. But because of the bubble that I lived in I thought everyone lived life like me and never thought that people had different experiences than I did. So right down to, oh, somebody would drink or something like it. It never occurred to me to even ask those kinds of questions necessarily because that's not something I did. So I just assumed everyone was É like, I mean, just ridiculous, right? Like completely ridiculous thinking. And so I remember in some conversations finding some things out about him. And I was like, ÒYou did what? You've done what?Ó And I thought ÒOh, my gosh, what have I done?Ó So I do remember having that. And then the very next morning, we went to basketball games and I remember thinking, ÒOh what a honeymoon this is! WeÕre at childrenÕs basketball games!Ó Like you know, so it very much went from, ÒOh, this is so exciting!Ó to ÒHoly crap. We are already dealing with real life!Ó Like, within a few hours, it was just back to real life again. And so I think to do over, I would love for us to have like been able to go on a honeymoon. And we've gotten to do so many wonderful things since then. So we live life to the fullest and definitely get that time back. But it was certainly a wake up of ÒHey, realityÕs here! There's five children in your lifeÓ and things like that. I don't really remember anything earth shattering then we just kind of looked at each other and go, ÒWow, we just ÉÓ Stephen: It was just exciting. Yeah. I mean, it's just like, it was like a kind of a Thelma & Louise moment, you know, where you're, you're in the É you're in the car and you're just flying down the road. You're not even worried about the cliff that's coming up, you know, because you don't think there is one. And the next morning at the basketball game the cliff showed up. Lee: Not bad É Stephen: Not in a bad way, No, but I mean there was definitely É there were definitely some issues. Lee: ItÕs just reality, you know, just reality. Lauren: Reality is going to hit whether you want it to or not so É Lee: Definitely. Lauren: É sooner rather than later. You talked a little bit about your religious background. Is that something that played a factor in you guys getting married as well? Stephen: As far as like, what our É what our decisions were about religion? Lauren: Yeah. Lee: SheÕs asking were we the same like É I was raised Pentecostal. Not Holiness, necessarily. Well, I guess it is Pentecostal Holiness. And he was not raised religiously, but his first wife was Baptist. So he kind of was introduced to that and became very ingrained in that and embraced that. So both Christian backgrounds, but very different in that aspect. But his Baptist Church that he went to is very strict as well. I mean, there's a lot of obviously, as you know, different denominations out there. And even though they're in the same Baptist denomination, there's a lot of different sects. So his was a pretty strict background and so that came into play. So I think him wanting to continue down that religious path, like we had that commonality. But that's what she was asking, I think was, did we you know, like, were you Buddhist and I was a Christian? Lauren: Was there a common ground? Stephen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was definitely common ground. And as a matter of fact, I remember I knew that she was the right one when I sent her a text message that É we had not talked on the phone, yet. And of course, with online dating, you definitely, you know, you want to be careful when you open that door up, right? Because you just never know. And I remember sending her a text message that said, ÒHey, I just wanted you to know that I've been praying for us.Ó And within two minutes, she sends me a text back and says, ÒCall me.Ó And that's when the conversation started. So I think if we're É if weÕre actually analyzing this, I think that that part of our life was actually the catalyst starting that conversation. Lee: Yeah. And I think it still is, you know, an important aspect and like I said, my religious beliefs or feelings or whatever, have changed a lot over the last eight years. But, you know, we pray every morning before we leave together. And I think that's a, you know, just like a huge thing that sets our day forward and keeps us committed to one another. I think that regardless of your ideas of religion, or what your belief system is, that if you come together with your partner each morning, and you commit that day to one another in some way, that will definitely, you know, keep that relationship healthier and set it up -- even just your day -- to be off to a better start. So I think that, you know, setting those foundations early on, like we did, has created something long lasting and something that we've done, literally for eight years. Stephen: Yeah. Lauren: I missed asking this question a little further back so I would love to ask it now. When you did renew your vows in in Las Vegas and it was live streamed and people could watch it, did you guys wear, you know, sort of tying it back into the reflection and choosing and the outfits that you wear, did you guys wear anything special for that day as well? Stephen: Oh, yeah, we did. Well, this one É this one over here is definitely gonna wear something special. Lee: But I didn't know about it. I mean, it was a surprise. But I had figured it out because he was like, ÒYou might want to bring something nice.Ó And I was like ÒWe're going to Vegas. Of course, I'm going to bring something nice!Ó But it's actually was not over the É like I think I was a little É it was more like Vegas dressy. Like it was a gold kind of É Stephen: I think you brought like three dresses. You had laid them all out and she goes ÒOkay, whatever it is that we're doing, which one of these is best gonna fit for what it is we're doing?Ó And so I picked out the one that I thought would work. And of course it was this very shiny silver, not sequined but É Lee: No, it just had a little shimmer. It had a shimmer to it. Like a little shimmer. Stephen: IÕm like ÒThat's the one. That's the one you're gonna want to wear.Ó And yeah, and I think I just um É Lee: You wore another suit! Stephen: I now have a gray suit added to the É to my wardrobe. And a purple tie. And yeah, so yeah, we still, we still dressed up and we still put some thought into it. There just wasn't as much for her because she had no idea what was what was happening. Lauren: Mmm hmm. What made you pick the shimmery one? Stephen: It just screamed Vegas! I mean, that's all it was! it just screamed Vegas. You're going to the Elvis Chapel of Love, you gotta wear something that looks like Vegas. I mean, it didn't É And too that, that also represented her as well. Like there's nothing that she doesn't own that doesn't represent who she is and, and you know how she likes to dress. But it was yeah É it just screamed Vegas, that's all. Lee: It wasnÕt gaudy though! It sounds a little gaudy but it wasnÕt! Stephen: No, no, no, no! There wasnÕt like feathers and a headdress or anything like that! And she looked really, really fabulous in it too! Lauren: If those outfits could talk, what would they say about each other? And I would love to know Stephen, what do you think Lee's outfit would say to her, and Lee what do you think StephenÕs outfit would say to him? I know it's a weird question. Stephen: I'm trying to wrap my head around it! You gotta understand Lauren, IÕm in my 50s. My cognitive abilities are waning! So what do I think Lee's outfit would say to her? Would say to her, like if it had something to say to her? Lauren: For example, when you're a doctor you put on your coat and that coat says ÒYou're a doctor.Ó Lee: No, I totally understand what you're saying, yeah. Like if I'm going to a business meeting, I'm gonna wear one thing. If I'm going to Vegas, I'm gonna wear another so yeah, or just even out on a Friday. Lauren: Yeah. Lee: And it's a representation and É and not everyone is that way. I think I think some people wear É just, they were things because they want to be comfortable every minute of their lives. I definitely do not dress to be comfortable. That's not my thought at the beginning of the day, so É so and I would say my, if I were to answer that question first, then it would be the suit would say, ÒSteven, this is what Lee wants you to wear tonight!Ó Stephen: Yeah, I know you want to wear a t-shirt and jeans but this is what she would prefer. And if you want to have a good evening from this point on, put the suit on. Lee: But what did the dress say to me honey? Stephen: What did the dress say to you? I think the dress would say to you, ÒGirl you were supposed to wear me! You look fine! Look at the way you just slide right into this dress!Ó Because she did! She looked amazing! You were born to wear this dress! Lee: One of them I was a little curvy in. I had gained a little weight when I was, I think É the second one was definitely saying ÒYou slid into this!Ó Stephen: Yeah you just slid right into this! Lee: Yeah I had to get yanked out! Stephen: But it also speaks to, you know É it also speaks as far as like who she is like who she is. she's very stylish. She's very put together. And that dress said that too. The dress would say ÒYep, you picked the right one because this is you. This is exactly who you are.Ó Lauren: Is there anything you want to add in regards to the podcast? Stephen: You know, the idea behind the podcast was to help people. We both have servant hearts, I believe. You know, we were looking around at the relationships of other people and we just didn't get it. And we just couldn't understand why people seem to struggle so much. And that's when the idea of the podcast came up. The podcast is allowing us the ability to try to connect with people, and to try to be authentic with people and to help them to realize that there are some struggles that we have, and there were a lot of them in the very first year but we were able to work through it. And here's why we were able to work through it. The website is the number 10daysandcouting.com. We're on Facebook, we're on Instagram, we're on Twitter. What would help us to help people more is if people actually sent us their issues that they're dealing with. Lee: Yeah, we would love questions and things like that, and to be able to have topics to discuss and keep them completely confidential. Stephen: And I think that if we could be a resource that could make a bigger change in the world, then I think that's a great thing. I'd love to be a part of that.