Godly Self-Esteem for Children
There’s been so much emphasis from psychologists on self-image, that it can make you worry whether any little thing you do will scar a child’s self-image for the rest of her life. You may even feel pressure to de-emphasize the child’s sin nature.
One time a journalist who was writing an article about Good News Clubs in public schools asked me, don’t you people teach children they’re sinners and make them feel bad about themselves? The Holy Spirit gave me an answer that I didn’t have prepared. I talked about how that both he and I do wrong things, our conscience tells us so, and THAT’s what makes us feel badly about ourselves. But knowing there is a loving God who will forgive us when we confess, and help us to do better, that’s really good news!
God, using the Bible, doesn’t hold back in talking about sin. We need to boldly tell people—including children, the truth about their sinfulness and need for a Savior. Once we have received Jesus as our Savior, we still need to acknowledge that we have sin that needs confessing and forgiveness. Being honest and receiving forgiveness helps us feel truly loved for who we are instead of whether we perform perfectly.
In this world, it’s really easy to feel valuable or important based on what we do, what we have, and what position or power we hold. For a child it might mean doing something like getting good grades, having something like the latest devices or clothing, or having position like being the oldest child in the family. After all, that’s what people commend.
James 1:9 says “Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower.” A believer in a humble circumstance might be someone who is materially poor. It can also mean someone without status. Children usually don’t have much to call their own, and not much status unless their parents are very prominent, so they can be in humble circumstances. So why should the believer in humble circumstances take pride in their high position? Because they are a believer, they have the honored position of being the child of the King of the Universe! Now that’s prominent! 
Even a person with no worldly goods or position can feel good about their high position as God’s son or daughter. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation since they will pass away like a wild flower. It’s easy to think that my worldly goods and position means I’m all that forever. But I need to recognize this is all very temporary. I should welcome anything that reminds me that my position is no better than anyone else. If your child is especially privileged, it would be a good thing to help her remember those things don’t make us better than others.
So how do we feed proper self-esteem and not pride? The key is to emphasize worth, or value in God’s sight. This is why creation teaching is so important, so the child knows she’s not here by accident, even if she was a surprise to Mom. God planned her, knit her body together, saw her and loved her even before she was born, according to Psalm 139.
When you make something, even if it’s just a paper airplane, you have a plan for it. You can tell a child that God made her special with a good plan for her life. A plan for good works according to Ephesians 2:10. He made her like a precision instrument, prepared exactly right for His good plan. How valuable you are to God!
Secular psychology would have a person bolster her self-image to the point that she refuses to believe she commits sin and is responsible for it. This person must fight true guilt all her life. When we tell a child they are wonderful without the context of God’s value, it can result in sinful pride. Then when failure happens and pride takes a hit, there’s insecurity and possibly despair. Genuine worth in God’s sight will come to the rescue. 
We can’t protect a child from many things that might damage his self-esteem. His greatest protection is understanding his value to God and the good work God is doing in him.