SEASON 12 EPISODE 3

[INTRODUCTION]

[0:00:13.9] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to SLP Learning Series, a podcast series presented by speechtherapypd.com. The SLP Learning Series explores various topics of speech-language pathology. Each season dives deeper into a topic with a different host and guests who are leaders in the field. Some topics include stuttering, AAC, sports concussions, teletherapy, ethics, and more. Each episode has an accompanying audio course on speechtherapypd.com and it is available for .1 ASHA CEUs. Now, come along with us, as we look closer into the many topics of speech-language pathology.

[INTERVIEW]

[0:01:05.2] SMS: All right, hello everybody. Welcome back. For some of you repeat offenders who have been with us on some other episodes of the Shift Makers Podcast and those of you who are new, welcome. Thank you so much for joining on this continued journey where weÕre really tapping into some growth and self-discovery. IÕm your host, Stephanie Michele Sweigart. IÕm a licensed and practicing school-based SLP out in Los Angeles, California. 

IÕm also certified as a teacher of mindfulness and compassion-based practices. So, IÕm certified in that area and I will be sharing with you today, some compassion-based practices. My pronouns are She/Her. We do have some housekeeping to go over. I want to say, thank you to SpeechTherapyPD.com for having us, for having another episode of Shift Makers. This is such a wonderful opportunity for us to really be together for holistic self-development, which is some of my personal favorite. 

And it meets my needs just to be able to be here with all of you just to share compassion, share compassion in our field. It meets my needs for creativity, being able to create these experiential lessons for you guys. It meets my needs for community to be able to be here with all of you and to have you in that chat box. IÕm really hoping to see you all there in this episode and it also makes money for fun. So, letÕs get ready to have some fun. 

Each episode on this podcast is 60 minutes. So, youÕre going to be offered 0.1 ASHA CEUs. As far as financial and nonfinancial disclosures, I do have to talk about those. For financial disclosures, I do own a non-public agency. ItÕs Golden State Speech Pathology Services, weÕre in Southern California, and I also receive compensation for this podcast and for other presentations that I do with SpeechTherapyPD.com.

And for the sale of digital courses that I have. Shift Makers 1.0 and the framework to becoming a mindful speech clinician. As far as nonfinancial disclosures, I donÕt have any to share at this time.

[0:03:04.7] All right, I want to see who is with me here today. Go ahead if you're here, throw it in the chat box, if you can, not if youÕre driving, anywhere that youÕre tuning in from. Maybe itÕs your city, maybe itÕs your state, your country, maybe you just want to tell me. ŅHey, IÕm sitting on my couch listening to you.Ó One of the amazing things about SpeechTherapyPD.com is we can access professional development from anywhere. 

WeÕve got Dana from Colorado, Sunnyvale California, Christina, yes, awesome. I mentioned IÕm in Los Angeles, California so I do see some other Californians in the chat box, yes, Angela from Los Angeles also. Howdy neighbor. Katie from Phoenix, shout out to Phoenix Arizona, awesome, San Diego. Great. Guys, we got Š up, Californians, Arizona, awesome, thank you so much for being here. 

Keizer, KK, Keizer, got you, thanks for being Š Alabama, woohoo. Yup, Texas, Japan, shout out to Japan, that is amazing. How exciting, Hazel, thanks for being here from Japan. I have no idea what time it is in Japan right now. Temecula, awesome. I wonder, you were here last time, I remember a Temecula from last time. 10 AM, all right, 10 AM for Hazel. Awesome, love that. Thank you guys. This is an hour of your time and I do not take that lightly. 

That is so amazing. I value your time, youÕre super important to me and I want to make sure that you are taking away something from this episode. So, what weÕre going to do is, and as I do it at the beginning of all my episodes, letÕs just take a minute, I want to sort of rein it all in, leave everything that we were just doing behind us and collect your, in this present moment. So, wherever you are, find a comfortable seat.

If you want to lay down, thatÕs okay too. If it feels good to close your eyes, go ahead and do so or a soft downward gaze, and weÕre going to just take a big, deep breath. This is a calming breath together. WeÕre going to inhale deeply through your nose, filling the air, maybe go with your nostrils, to the back of your throat. Maybe feeling your chest expand as your lungs are filling up, and then go ahead and exhale slowly through your mouth. 

Releasing any tension, any stress, just let everything go, everything on your plate, it will be there when weÕre done with this episode for you to come back to, and letÕs just hang out in the space where we can release, we can connect and be here fully present together. One more deep breath in and out because what weÕre doing is we are just calming and relaxing that nervous system and we are regulating ourselves. So, thank you so much. 

[0:05:32.4] I want to share that the person for our case study today that weÕre going to be talking about has opted not to appear live on the air. We absolutely respect their choice, we value their privacy. However, they have generously provided us with information to be able to share their detailed case scenario with you. They gave it to us in a questionnaire and I believe their experience is incredibly valuable to explore and I want to let you know, we do have permission to do so. 

So, todayÕs episode, Caseload Chaos. LetÕs do it. Communicating Like a Pro with the Higher-Ups. So, IÕll be sharing their insights and their story on their behalf. Again, thank you for understanding and respecting this personÕs choice to remain anonymous. As always, this conversation is definitely a shared experience with all of you guys. So, if you're joining us live, feel free to jump into that chat box. 

I got it pulled up right here, right next to me, and your questions, your comments, your insights, not just welcome guys, highly, highly encourage. I want to hear from you, we are all learning together and IÕm going to learn from you as also. So, I prepared something special for you, you might have seen it in your handouts there is a workbook you can download. ThereÕs a QR code on that handout. 

Go ahead and you can fold up your phone to it, you can take a Š click on the link when itÕs in your camera lens, this will give you the workbook companion and this is our tool, that will really guide us as we navigate todayÕs topic. If you donÕt have it right now, no problem, make sure you grab that later for when you are reframing those texts, those emails, and all those future conversations you're going to have after this episode.

All right, your participation, remember, makes this podcast a community. I am excited to hear from you. So, letÕs dive into this conversation, letÕs just not make it informative but really, interactive. I believe in interactive and experiential professional development. So, letÕs make this a great discussion.

[0:07:17.7] IÕm going to start off today, I want to pull up a poem that itÕs a Turkey parable actually, that I love and it goes like this: ŅAn old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. ŅA fight is going on inside me,Ó he said to the boy. ŅItÕs a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil, he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.Ó

ŅHe continued, ŅThe other is good, his joy, peace, love hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside of you and inside of every other person too.Ó The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather ŅWhich wolf will win?Ó And the old Cherokee simply replied, ŅThe one you feed.Ó

A big part of compassionate communication is that we have a choice. We have the freedom to make choices in how we want to communicate and who we want to be, and how we want to show up for ourselves, for our clients, for our colleagues, for others, and with that freedom comes responsibility, right? Responsibility for the choices that weÕre making, whether itÕs in our personal life or our professional life. 

We hold the power and when we hold that power, what weÕre doing now is we are releasing others from having control over us or having control over our emotions or our actions, or even being responsible for them. So, when we decide to exercise choice, choice, itÕs a very important word in compassionate communication, itÕs really important that weÕre going to look very closely at the options that we have to choose from.

So that we can align not only our choices but our decisions with what matters to us and what matters to us is our values, our desires, things that align with who we are at the core, our authentic selves. So, when it comes to conflicts and challenges in your life, whether youÕre having these challenges with yourself or with others, and again, on a personal level or professional level, which wolf do you feed? ThatÕs the question.

Is it the wolf of anger? When your collaboration with your team suddenly falls apart, is it envy over your colleague's pay rate? Regret over maybe something you said in a meeting with an advocate that you wish you didnÕt. Is it greed around your therapy materials and resources? Is it arrogance with the skills that youÕve acquired or your skill level? Self-pity. Maybe when parents are upset with your therapy approach. 

Is it resentment, when your boundaries at work are being pushed? Is it inferiority with administration? Or maybe lies that you tell yourself about how much you can handle on the job? Is it feelings of superiority that you have over a mentee that maybe youÕve been asked to train or is it your ego? Sometimes inflated when youÕre pushing your idea onto others or, is it the wolf of joy? 

Is it those moments when youÕre celebrating your coworkerÕs achievements or peace in your collaboration or connection, wonderful connection thatÕs formed in IP meetings, or the love that we share with our clients or hope, hope that you have that maybe collaboration will be more effective in the next meeting? Is it humility that you have for the skills that youÕve acquired and that youÕre bringing to the table? 

Is it kindness? When we talk about others in the lunch room. Is it empathy? When we try to understand what administration or the higher-ups might be going through and what their needs are. Is it generosity with their time and resources? Truth about maybe what weÕre needing or feeling in the moment or is it compassion to ourselves when time seem to get really tough, which wolf will you feed? 

[0:12:03.2] As a helping professional, an SLP, an SLPA, a psychologist, a therapist, any of the behavioral therapists, you hold the power to change lives by choosing where youÕre going to direct your focus, right? Much like feeding that wolf. You decide whether to nurture that wolf of positivity or starve that wolf of negativity and by consistently over and over investing your energy in positive and uplifting thoughts and emotions, you're not only strengthening your own resilience you have but youÕre contributing positively to the well-being of all the lives around you that youÕre going to affect. It ripples out, right?

It might be your clients, your colleagues, your students, your patients, their families, and so on. Okay, so the question begs, we all have the evil wolf and the good wolf inside of us fighting a terrible fight. Which one will win, which one will you feed? So, in that spirit, weÕre going to move on to our case study for todayÕs episode. This is the exact words that was shared from the questionnaire that was filled out. 

The question that we asked the participant was, ŅWhat is your situational conflict or challenge current or past, and how has it impacted you whether itÕs your stress levels, your well-being?Ó We want to know all the details but we donÕt want to know the names, weÕre not going to gossip about names or you know, names of organizations or people that youÕve interacted with. These are the exact words that came from our participants. 

They said, ŅCaseloads are high, paperwork is perfused, meetings are too long. It is difficult to tell administration in a clear manner why so many people on a caseload makes doing my job less effective.Ó Okay? And when we asked this participant, ŅHow do you typically handle conflicts or disagreements and you know, in your professional relationships?Ó The response was, ŅI probably just avoid conflict as much as possible.Ó

ŅCompliance is easier than confrontation.Ó And I want to repeat that last part that they said, ŅCompliance is easier than confrontation.Ó So, this person shared with us that, also in the questionnaire that theyÕre somewhat uncomfortable with being able to really express their emotions in conversations and I believe it was frustration. That was one specific emotion that was more challenging for them to express.

And the participant in the questionnaire, they informed us that they were open to feedback and willing to make changes on it. I just want to take a moment to take that in and think like, ŅHow common is this?Ó Right? That weÕre hearing that this person has a caseload and a workload thatÕs like, not allowing them to really be as effective in their jobs as they like to be. I mean, that sounds pretty relatable. And I imagine thatÕs extremely frustrating. 

If thatÕs happening for anybody thatÕs listening as well and that can really lead us to a place of obviously, feeling overwhelmed and feeling exhausted and having some resentment, and perhaps our participant is needing more support and more understanding and more of this shared reality with administration, about how this high case load workload can negatively impact our role as speech therapists and I think itÕs a matter too of looking at workload, not just caseload, right? 

Our numbers may be high but weÕre not just treating and testing, right? We have all the hours that weÕve invested into IP meetings and staffingÕs and writing reports and trial reels and progress reports and making phone calls, all that duties with collaboration and prepping for therapy materials and our lesson plans and I think IÕm getting anxious just thinking about all of the things literally that we do in our job in the school systems and IÕm sure, in other positions as well. If youÕre tuning in and youÕre in another position, thereÕs many duties that we have that contribute to our overall workloads.

[0:16:05.1] So, woohoo, deep breath, in and out for just that. That heavy load of all the things that we are expected to do. So, to the participant, if theyÕre joining in or listening in on this call, theyÕre in with, enrolling in this course, I hope that sounds right on whatÕs going on for you. That you're having a lot of real challenges that I think all of us at some point have faced in the workplace. 

I want to dive into my chat box real quickly. Anyone here right now thatÕs listening, are you feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or frustrated right now due to your caseload workload? Throw in all caps ŅYESÓ in that chat box. If you could relate maybe now or in the past in a different assignment where your numbers were high, your workload was even higher and it really made Š yup, Katie, yes. It made your job a lot harder to do because I think this is something that all of us have experienced at some point in time. 

So, this is one of our course objectives here on this episode and itÕs really to Š Ally, yes to workload. Yeah, so, Ally can relate to that as well. I see the chat box, some yeses. So, one of our objectives here is to gain insights into these challenges. What are the challenges that clinicians are facing when we are managing large caseloads and kind of talking about how it directly can affect our efficiency on the job?

ItÕs not always easy to be able to address these challenges that you know, we as clinicians may face when weÕre trying to manage all of this. ItÕs not always easy to go to the higher-ups and say, ŅHey, hereÕs whatÕs going on.Ó You know, to be able to communicate that can be very challenging for some and you know, our participant for this case, she said, or he said or they said, ŅIt is difficult to tell administration in a clear manner why so many people in caseload makes doing my job less effective.Ó 

And IÕm wondering how many other people out there listening are thinking, ŅYes, itÕs very hard to do that.Ó So, thatÕs what weÕre going to work on today. KK said ŅYes and yesÓ Very good. All right, so letÕs backtrack a second, letÕs get clarity on some of the challenges, I want a bullet point on your handout with managing these large caseloads. These are going to be objective pain points. 

So, follow along with me on this so that we can have this and create these objective statements that are really going to help you build your case when you go, and youÕre communicating with admin or the higher-ups, the program specialist or whoever is at your side that you need to speak with. These are bullet points again listed in your handouts as well. 

[0:18:34.8] But the first thing we want to do is we want to get clarity on our numbers, okay? So, itÕs really important to factor in the numbers that we have. WeÕre going to express those numbers that we had and weÕre going to point out that within these numbers, lies diversity and complexity, okay? Super important because not all of our clients on our caseload are going to have the same needs or require the same amount of resources from us or same amount of time from us, okay? Very important. 

Number two, weÕre going to identify our time constraints, and what I mean by this is guys, thereÕs only so many paid hours in a day. WeÕre not working for free, right? And how is it possible to be able to fit it all in with some part of your workload, now, getting less attention, right? Whether itÕs that extra time and attention to maybe details of a report that you're writing or extra time to plan meaningful sessions that are really going to be individualized and unique to each of your students.

The challenge is balancing time so that you can ensure that you are thorough in all the different areas of your work. Number three, weÕre going to take inventory of the emotional impact, weÕre going to connect to, ŅHow are we feelingÓ, right? We want to consider the emotional impact that having this higher caseload or workloads can have on a therapist. This is so key and itÕs going to be so vital to be able to express.

So, by this, what I mean is, if we have reduced well-being, if we have exhaustion, if we have compassion fatigue. If weÕre just tired, if weÕre getting health issues, right? And what emotions are coming up for you, you ask yourself, ŅHow am I feeling?Ó You know, what is the burn-in that can come with dealing day in and day out with either physically demanding or emotionally demanding or challenging cases, okay? So, take inventory on how you're feeling. 

[0:20:25.7] Number four, weÕre going to describe how your efficiency is impacted, okay? Because most likely is impacted. So, we need to look at struggles with inefficiency, right? So, what youÕre going to do here is, so, being able to maintain efficiency, when you have a high caseload or workload and knowing that this high workload can impact you. You want to state how. 

So, whether itÕs the documentation, ŅNow, I have to go and I have to document for each of these cases and I might not be efficient in that.Ó Or, your efficiency is down with being able to collaborate with other professionals, super important in the job. You have to have that time, that increment of time, to be able to collaborate with others. WeÕre just one piece of the puzzle, right? Efficiency might be down in getting really good at being able to schedule for therapy or efficiency with our outcomes of how the sessions are going.

So, weÕre going to take note of how that efficiency is impacted. Number five, weÕre going to express now the relationship component with our clients. So, the relationship, also very, very important, right? ItÕs important to consider with quantity, we lose quality, right? WeÕve heard that before, more quantity, less quality, right? And thatÕs the same with relationships, the relationship aspect of our job. When weÕre rushing, here or there and everywhere to get things done, whatÕs happening? 

WeÕre losing that valuable time to be able to establish that rapport and that time to deeply connect with our clients or our colleagues if itÕs a matter of collaboration, to be able to have that deeper level in those relationships and it can feel frustrating. I know, at times, IÕve said, it was in my thoughts being like a factory, like, one after another, after another, after another, client coming in and youÕre really losing that therapist-client relationship because youÕre just speeding along and already trying to move on to the next group, right? 

The pleasantries go out the door, the small talk goes out the door. So, think about how you can express the impact of the relationship with your clients, and then number six is, noting errors that you might have made. We all make mistakes, itÕs actually good to point out your mistakes. I don't know about you but when IÕm inundated with way too many things, like you should just see me when IÕm running late, trying to get my daughter to the school, IÕm going to forget things, right?

[0:22:49.8] When weÕre rushing to get through things, this opens the possibility or opens the door for more mistakes to happen and this is not a field that we want to continually make a lot of mistakes in when it comes to diagnosing and treating or caring for individuals and their needs, or even in their documentation, right? So, these are such important areas that we want to make sure that we have clinical accuracy as best we can.

So, that can be another key point that we can share for thinking about and understanding now and setting the stage for what we need to point out when weÕre advocating for more support when weÕre advocating because we need better boundaries or less work in our day, and again, I invite you to try to stay neutral in your observation. So youÕre going to be removing judgments and criticism and blame. 

And you're going to stick to those points that I mentioned, those six bullet points with as many key facts as you can, moving your evaluation and just pointing out the key facts, so our listenersÕ ears stay open and nobody is going on the defense. All right, letÕs remind ourselves again what the participant said. When asked, ŅHow do you typically handle conflicts or disagreements in your personal or professional relationships?Ó 

ŅHow do you typically handle those disagreements?Ó And our participant said, ŅI probably just avoid conflict as much as possible. Compliance is easier than confrontation.Ó So, this brings us to our next piece of our episode and this is really looking at practical tips and approaches for handling workplace conflict and letÕs say specifically, for addressing this tendency to really prioritize compliance over confrontation. 

I want you all just to take a quick minute to reflect on a time when your caseload or your workload at an assignment was not sustainable and you really lacked the necessary support, right? To complete the job efficiently, effectively. I want you to sort of remember the details of that assignment, where were you?

Think about this in your mind. ŅWhere were you, who was around, what level of support did you have, what level of support was really needed?Ó And I want you to reflect on how you felt. What were your motions during that challenging time? What came up for you? Was there overwhelm, maybe some frustration, anger, maybe some hopelessness, the evil wolf, exhaustion, stress, maybe disappointment? What was alive for you as youÕre recalling this? 

[0:25:29.2] Did you notice an impact on your health? Maybe you were getting frequent colds, maybe you werenÕt exercising as much from the exhaustion, maybe you werenÕt focusing on taking out lunch breaks, you werenÕt nourishing yourself as much with nourishing foods, or taking breaks throughout the day as you needed to just to rest. Maybe you got sick, who did you turn to for support during this period of time or did you remain to yourself? 

Did you find yourself advocating for your needs or stating your boundaries and who did you speak with? Was it someone at your side or were you complaining to a family member at home? Did that feel safest? Or is it communicating to your boss or colleague or did you go to the higher-ups and share your concerns or did you just kind of trudged through with resentment? Just try to do it anyways, murmuring under your breath or did you put your foot down and refuse any additional tasks? 

Hang on to that memory, we are going to come back and reflect on it a bit later, thank you to those of you who sat and reflected on this. IÕm sure, each personÕs experience is so very different with this and that the answer is that maybe you came up with your mind it might look different for each of you because we all have different ways to respond to challenges and conflict and thatÕs the next part of our learning. 

WeÕre going to dive into what are those different ways that we habitually Š right? Habitually, because itÕs been deeply conditioned, what are those ways that we habitually respond to conflict and again, itÕs due to our conditioning. 

[SPONSOR MESSAGE]

[0:27:15.5] ANNOUNCER: Are you taking advantage of our new amazing feature? The certificate tracker. The free CE Tracker allows you to keep track of all of your CEUs, whether they are earned with us at SpeechTherapyPD.com or through another provider. Simply upload your certificate to your registered account and youÕre all set. So, come join the fastest-growing CE Provider, SpeechTherapyPD.com.

[INTERVIEW CONTINUED]

[0:27:43.0] SMS: I want to talk specifically now, because weÕre almost halfway through here, about different ways that one may handle conflict and you have a reference for this in your handout, thereÕs a book that I absolutely love, I refer to it a lot, itÕs called, Say What You Mean. ItÕs by Oren Jay Sofer. I use this book a lot as a resource. 

HeÕs a certified trainer in the area of nonviolent communication and thatÕs what these compassionate communication strategies are to date, there is probably a little less than 700 of these trainers in the world but the number is growing. IÕm not certified in NVC but I am certified from an esteemed two-year program as a teacher of mindfulness and compassion-based practices where a lot of these practices were shared as well and theyÕre absolutely amazing. 

But, in his book, Oren really shares that thereÕs four different ways that we can habitually respond to conflict. These are also listed in your handout, youÕll see them listed there. The invitation here is for you to really listen closely now to how IÕm going to describe these, and I want you to sort of imagine which one calls out to you if you will. How do you manage or how do you typically respond to conflict or challenges in the workplace, right? 

As it relates to conflict with your caseload or workload management or maybe itÕs conflict in your communication with your colleagues or maybe even challenges with trying to get your pay increased or challenges with litigious or contentious IEPs, those are some of the ones that seem to come up a lot less.

LetÕs take a look and if you donÕt have and got a handout available, what IÕm going to do is IÕm going to copy and paste the four into the chat box so that you can reference those right now, and for people who are just listening, IÕll go ahead and name those. Number one is conflict avoidance, number two is competitive confrontation, number three is passivity, and number four is passive aggression. 

You might already know by just kind of looking at it, which one you are. I gave my mom a test on this, this morning in the car And I knew which one she was going to say. My mom was competitive confrontation because she was getting ready to make a call to her cable company about something she was really upset about. So, we worked through that a little bit on the phone this morning, that was fun.

[0:29:53.4] All right, letÕs dive into now, what each of these means. You can kind of see, weÕll just do broad strokes of this, so you can kind of see which one maybe you relate to the most. So, letÕs start number one. Number one is conflict-avoidant. So, for everybody thatÕs listening, when you logged into your SpeechTherapyPD.com account and youÕve registered for this course, you went through a series of steps. 

One of those steps is your handout and you can download that handout, youÕll see these four steps on that handout. So, you can go ahead and check back to your handout for that. Hopefully, that helps you out, Dana. All right, conflict avoidance, this is just as it sounds, you tend to avoid conflict, right? Remember the words of our participant when we asked them, you know, ŅHow you do you handle disagreements.Ó 

They said, ŅI probably just avoid conflict as much as possible. Compliance is easier than confrontation.Ó So, there is Š there, we see that our participant in that situation they were explaining is conflict-avoidant in those conflicts or disagreements. So, this might mean when you find yourself getting into a sticky situation, you might be more likely to say things like, ŅCan we just focus on the positive things right now, guys?Ó

ŅAbout our student and get back on track with what we were talking about?Ó or you might say something, anything, completely off the topic, right? To kind of steer the conversation in a different way. You might go as far as saying, ŅYou know, IÕm just going to ignore this issue altogether, itÕs not here, I donÕt see it, itÕs not in view, itÕs not happening, right?Ó Conflict avoidant. 

So, imagine for my example that you have a school-based SLP who is conflict avoidant, who is juggling this caseload of say, 75 students, itÕs one day of SLP support, SLPA support. This SLP is extremely overwhelmed, theyÕre rundown, theyÕre exhausted, as you imagine they might be and rather than addressing the issue with admin, this conflict-avoidant SLP may choose not to address their concerns at all.

Because this SLP doesnÕt want to start a fire because if they address it again with admin, that could appear that maybe theyÕre complaining or maybe itÕs going to appear that theyÕre ungrateful, or maybe they donÕt want to draw a lot of attention on themselves with admin out of fear that like, and by admin, I need administration, out of fear that, ŅIf I say something, this situation can escalate, I can make like a mountain out of a molehill, right?Ó

Especially if we think that the administration will just say no. So, itÕs like, IÕd rather just avoid that altogether. Remember that checklist, those six bullet points that I share with you with all of the concerns that can come from a high caseload workload? Well now, our SLP in this scenario has high numbers, right? On their diverse and complex caseload, they donÕt have enough time to fit in all the things that they would like to do.

[0:32:33.3] Maybe their emotions are heightened since their needs for support are not being advocated for. Maybe their relationships with their teachers are suffering since the SLP isnÕt checking in, doesnÕt have time to collaborate with them, and maybe those SLPs are making tons of errors on their reports since theyÕre having to rush to kind of like type them in because thereÕs just too many IP meetings that theyÕre sitting in the same week, thereÕs little time left, little time they have, theyÕre trying to get that report but more errors happening, right? 

And so this SLP decides, ŅIÕm done. IÕm going to quit. I am putting in my two weeks' notice, IÕm going to tell my recruiter or the district or their boss, whoever they work for, you know, this is not sustainable. IÕm done, IÕm out of here. I donÕt want to deal with this at all.Ó Right? So, with this style of managing conflict, youÕre understanding the needs of others. YouÕve got that in check, you know what theyÕre needing of you, right? 

But perhaps by you exiting, stage left, this is a missed opportunity for engaging in meaningful conversation with the administration to express what youÕre feeling, what youÕre needing and then determining if there is a possibility for you guys to sit down and strategize ways to meeting everybodyÕs needs, which now opens the door for deeper connection, with the relationship, with the people youÕre speaking with. 

More meaningful work, more understanding on the team, more support on the job rather than just hopping from job to job hoping that eventually, one will be conflict-free, and I say that, I speak from experience. If you know my story guys, I used to hop from job to job to job hoping to find that perfect job where things were just as I wanted them to be. That doesnÕt exist, there is conflict in every job that we go into. 

[0:34:25.1]: Competitive confrontation is number two, okay? So, this response as you can imagine is more aggressive, right? ItÕs more aggressive in our nature and that it makes our needs the priority. WhatÕs important to us takes priority and we forcibly put our needs onto others, so much so that weÕre not even considering their viewpoints, weÕre not going to take that into consideration. 

And this can also be characterized by what we call life-alienating communication and compassionate communication and life-alienating communication is when we use blame, judgment, criticism when weÕre diagnosing others, ŅHeÕs a liar, heÕs rude.Ó So, in competitive confrontation our tune of voice may change, our volume might increase when weÕre speaking. Go back to that conflict-avoidant person and what happens is when we avoid, avoid, avoid the conflict and it comes again one day, thatÕs it. 

ItÕs like our lid popped, right? ItÕs like one of the idioms we teach our students, we blew our lid, right? We lose it, we snap, and then all of a sudden, we get loud. WeÕre demanding, ŅIÕm not doing it. IÕm done, IÕm done dealing with this. IÕm going to do it my wayÓ right? And this would flip the conflict-avoidant person now to a competitive confrontation. So, with competitive confrontation, our needs are being met but at whatever and whoeverÕs expense. 

Like, ŅDonÕt get in my wayÓ weÕre not backing down and itÕs that strong mentality of, ŅIÕm right, youÕre wrong.Ó So, when we go back to the scenario of the SLP having this large caseload, workload, too many meetings, too much paperwork, with the competitive confrontational SLP, we would see this SLP make a call to administration, loud volume on the phone, maybe a change in their tone of voice, and theyÕre now demanding, right? 

ŅI need three days of an SLP, SLPA to get those work done.Ó And now, maybe the SLPÕs blaming. We might have that life-alienating communication blaming administration, ŅYou gave me too many students. You know what? ItÕs because you gave me too many students thatÕs why workÕs falling apart, thatÕs why IÕm missing deadlines, thatÕs why things are out of compliance, so many errors being made is because you gave me all this work and I canÕt handle it.Ó Right? 

ThatÕs why things are so chaotic, we put the blame back on the administration. The SLP might continue to express, ŅYou know what? I canÕt do this job. I wonÕt do this job without more SLPA time and you know what? ItÕs not happening and things are about to fall apart and out of compliance real fast if I take myself to another district. So, you need to figure this out.Ó So, now my needs trump everybody elseÕs needs, right? 

And then maybe the SLP goes and demands to the SLPA that they might have for one day a week like, ŅHey, you need to see double the amount of kiddos now in each of your groups, no questions asked, this is what you need to do because I am not getting support so IÕm going to put that demand on you.Ó So, whatÕs lacking here, whatÕs lacking in this approach is again everybodyÕs needs matter. 

The SLP needs matter, the SLPA needs matter, the administration needs matter, and if we take the approach to putting our needs in front of someone elseÕs needs and we do so using blame and judgment, and criticism. Guess what? This is where our relationship start to deteriorate, this is where our relationships start to fall apart. This is where you hear people say, ŅOh, I think I burnt that bridge. I canÕt go back there again, right? I can go back to that agency or that job site.Ó Because we burn bridges. 

[0:38:02.3] Number three is passivity. Passivity is being passive, this is when we just go along with others and now we give up on our own needs, okay? So, this is the approach of whatever you want, right? Whatever you need, okay? So now, weÕre perceived as easygoing, flexible, ŅStephanie is accommodating, sheÕs there for us. She really takes one for the team.Ó Right? And we say yes to things even when we donÕt agree, okay? 

Even when we donÕt agree and the reason this is different than conflict-avoidant is that with conflict-avoidant, weÕre just weÕre avoiding it all together, right? In fear that itÕs going to escalate the problems. You donÕt address it at all with administration or whoever, youÕre challenges with but with passivity, you might find yourself thinking, ŅYou know what? IÕll do it this time. IÕll do it this time so everybodyÕs happy.Ó 

ŅIÕm new. I want to be likedÓ or, ŅYou know what? My happiness isnÕt important right now, letÕs just get this done. If I do this and I say yes, maybe IÕll be accepted in the happy hour, theyÕll want to go out with me. IÕll be accepted into this peer group, right? I want to get along, just for getting along sake.Ó And you become a people pleaser or an appeaser, right? You find ways just to appease people. 

And this my friends, I tell you, can and will breed resentment over time and weaken our connection with others, the others that are giving us the things to do that we are just appeasing. So, going back to our scenario of the SLP and the SLPA, passivity would look like the SLP always taking on extra work when asked by the district even if they donÕt think that they can really handle more students or clients on their caseload but they do it willingly, right? 

We do it willingly because ŅI want to be liked by the district or by my organization. I want to be employee of the month. I want to be praised, right? For my hard work, IÕm going to inflate my ego and my abilityÓ to like I said, ŅIÕm going to take this for the team, everybody is really going to appreciate that.Ó And if they agree to this extra work and they think, ŅYou know what? Now, everything is just going to roll along smoothly.Ó 

ŅThereÕs not going to be any bumps in the road.Ó What happens with this style of conflict is some of your needs might be met but youÕre prioritizing maybe your needs for belonging or your needs for acknowledgment or your needs for peace and harmony in a sense that you are not ruffling any feathers, right? ThatÕs the peace but this requires you to have strong inner armor, okay? If you donÕt have a strong inner armor, watch out. 

Passivity is not for the weak and what happens here too is that you know, this can become the breeding grounds for resenting others, when youÕre giving in and giving into them time and time and time again and itÕs going to impact your relationship with those who are asking you to do that because youÕre going to breed that resentment for them. 

[0:41:02.8] LetÕs go on to the last one, passive aggression. IÕm raising my hand as a personal favorite from my past, somewhat confrontational in nature mixed with a little bit of passivity if you will, okay? You might agree to do something, ŅYeah, I got you. I can do that.Ó Right? ŅIÕm on it.Ó But behind closed doors, oh man, you are complaining and blaming and bashing and insulting or saying how you really feel about doing what youÕve been asked to do, okay? 

YouÕre super sweet and high when you accept that, ŅYeah, I can do that. No problem, I got you.Ó Right? When theyÕre asking you, ŅItÕs all good, itÕs gravy.Ó But when doors are closed, the true nature of anger and resentment and, ŅWhy do I have to do this? Why are they asking me?Ó Frustrations are on the rise, right? And so in our scenario again, this could look like our SLP agreeing to, ŅYep, I got it. IÕll take on that extra work.Ó

ŅIÕll do that high caseload.Ó But now, theyÕre murmuring, murmur, murmur, all these negative comments like under their breath all the way out the door about how unsupportive administration is or, ŅHow ridiculous admin is for thinking that this is okay and for doing this to SLPsÓ or weÕre blaming them. ŅItÕs all their fault that things are falling apart and SLPs are leaving their jobs and the school systemÓ right? 

ŅIf they could just be more organized if they could get their budget under control, this wouldnÕt happen to therapists.Ó This is, I donÕt know if any of that is ringing in your ears like yep, weÕve heard that. Yep, IÕve said that, no blame, no judgment, right? Passive aggression, right? This can look like taking on the work but now, ŅMaybe I am going to intentionally slip to show them. IÕm going to show them.Ó 

ThatÕs in air quotes for those who canÕt see me right now, ŅIÕm going to show them what happens when you give me too much work, right?Ó Well, maybe IÕm going to miss some therapy sessions now, yeah? Well, youÕre going to have to put that on the back burner, those are just going to have to wait because hey, you wonÕt need to test these three extra kids. Guess what? ThatÕs going to be out of compliance, right? 

So, itÕs sort of that attitude and what happens here, again, is the SLP is, in this case scenario, abandoning their own needs in the situation, and guess what? Now, we have more problems, a lot more problems, broken relationships, less happiness on the job. It sure doesnÕt feel good to be murmuring and grunting and blaming, right? And carrying that negative energy with you. We got less satisfaction in our roles, on the job, our wellbeing is like tanking, passive aggression. 

[0:43:30.0] So, those are the four styles, and the question here is compliance really more beneficial than confrontation, is it? Because the goal in conflict really is to see everyoneÕs, everyone at the table as much as possible, their unique perspective whether you agree with it or not, and try to connect to each personÕs feelings and needs in a situation and then strategize ways to meet as many of those needs as possible for everyone.

ThatÕs the goal. The mantra should be everyoneÕs needs matter. EveryoneÕs needs matter. So, the invitation to all of you now is to kind of self-reflect on which habitual conflict styles you operate in in times of challenge in the workplace and we need to recognize them. We need to self-reflect so that we can see which of those we are before we can begin to shift our processes for how weÕre dealing with conflict. 

Again, shift our processes, we are Shift Makers, that is the name of this podcast. We are making the shift, we are moving from A to B, this is a transformational opportunity to move on these habitual conditioned ways of responding to challenges and conflict and moving into this new space, this compassionate communication, weÕre building bridges, weÕre strengthening relationships, weÕre increasing our happiness and job satisfaction and weÕre doing so through strategies and our compassionate communication. 

All right, so IÕm curious, letÕs go back a moment to that conflict or challenge I had you reflect upon in the beginning of this episode to think about where you were, who you were with, what the circumstances of the conflict were. If youÕd like, if youÕd like, IÕm curious for you to pop it into the chat box now. IÕd love to know, thinking of that conflict how you managed it or handled it or didnÕt handle it, no judgment, none of this but in self-reflecting which of these conflict styles do you align with? 

So again, IÕm going to put the numbers right here. You can even throw the numbers into the chat box, see if any of those Š go ahead and just popcorn those numbers in there. If you can think of a time or you know that thatÕs sort of your style, again, no judgment but popcorn those numbers in there and letÕs see how many of us can fall into some of these categories. 

[0:45:57.2] Jonnie, yes, conflict-avoidant. Jonnie is like, ŅNo, IÕm out of here.Ó Yes, JonnieÕs got smoke coming out of her feet. Christina, ŅI hate confrontation so I avoid it at all costs.Ó Yes, Christina is number one. Katie, passivity. Katie is like, ŅOkay, I want to do it. IÕll see you at happy hour, I want to be your friend.Ó All right, Katie is passivity, thank you for sharing. Yes, very good, Dana, passivity. Yes, thank you, Dana. 

DanaÕs passive, yes, ŅIÕll do it. I want to keep the peace. I want things moving smoothly.Ó Roxane, passivity. I take a lot of passivities here, very interesting, yes. Heather, one after two, okay, conflict-avoidant. Oh, so after youÕve been confronting someone competitively then youÕre like, ŅNo, IÕm out of here.Ó ItÕs like mike drop, I said my piece, mike drop, IÕm out. Yes, very good, thank you, Heather. 

Dana, ŅI feel pride when I take on more work and then I realize I really am able to handle more responsibilities.Ó All right, yes, and absolutely. Listen, if you can take on more and itÕs not impacting your well-being, absolutely, continue doing what youÕre doing. We are talking about when your workload or your caseload is impacting your well-being, your emotions, your stress if the outcomes for your students, your time to effectively manage. 

So, kudos Dana, if you can actually do it and take on more and you feel good about that and all things are moving forward gracefully and productively, absolutely awesome, proceed. All right, all right, for me, as I kind of told you before learning compassionate communication strategies, shh, donÕt tell anybody, I would handle conflict with passive aggression. I would definitely take that burden with a smile and complain about it behind closed doors to anybody that would listen. 

And complain over and over and I learned a statement once, ŅYou complain, you remain, you praise, you raise.Ó I like that one, ŅYou complain, you remain, you praise, you raise.Ó But when frustrations would mount over and over and over again where I was like, ŅOh, my boundaries are like being busted and broken up here.Ó I would then flip to conflict confrontational, so kind of like the reverse of what Heather shared. 

IÕd be like two and then one, right? And then IÕd say things or do things that I later regretted and IÕve burnt bridges. IÕve been in this field to date, 17 years, and I have burnt bridges through the years doing and saying things that I later regretted beating that evil wolf. Yeah, there are many times that I was not liked at my site but again, donÕt tell anybody. IÕm whispering, donÕt tell anybody for those sitting in the back. 

[0:48:39.8] By learning NBC and studying compassionate communication and practicing a variety of strategies, I learned now, IÕve learned now how to advocate, how to set boundaries, how to express my anger or my emotions fully and wholeheartedly, which we talked about in episode two of this podcast mini-series, using the framework from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, go to cnvc.org to learn more about him. 

But this has literally, literally, I kid you not, transformed my personal and my professional life with greater well-being, deeper relationships. I live more authentically, I live more mindfully, and all around, I have more joy. IÕm happy, IÕm happy on the job, IÕm happy with what I do, and who I interact with and I canÕt explain that in words. ItÕs kind of like love, how do you explain love, right? 

But itÕs one of those things where once you practice it, once you practice non-violent communication or compassionate communication you immediately start to see what IÕm talking about, much like when you start to love somebody, you start to notice all those little things. This is that and I want that for you. Let me give you, letÕs see how much time we have left here, I was going to give you some examples. 

But I think weÕre going to be running short on time. If we have time at the end, IÕll give some examples and you guys can pop into the chat and guess which conflict style you think that is. I do want to say from my research lovers out there or all those that are here, according to a Pub Med Central journal article, and it was titled, ŌConflict Management: Difficult Conversations with Difficult PeopleÕ.

This was published in 2013 and this comes directly from the journal article: ŅConflict occurs frequently in any workplace. Any workplace. You canÕt jump around from place to place and think youÕre not going to find it. Healthcare is not an exception. The negative consequences include dysfunctional teamwork, decreased patient satisfaction, and increased employee turnover.Ó No surprise there in our industry. 

ŅResearch demonstrates that training in conflict resolution skills can result in improved teamwork productivity and patient and employee satisfaction.Ó You have a reference for this article in your handout, guys. There are some amazing strategies listed in this journal. If you want to tap into that for some conflict resolution skills that are going to support you with managing conflict in the workplace, theyÕre numbered out. TheyÕre great. 

[0:51:09.9] ThereÕs one that I want to highlight that aligns with compassionate communication, the one that IÕm sharing for this episode and this is our last objective really is have it connect to our feelings and needs and build that clear constructive dialogue communicating, communicating with those higher-ups, right? Our caseload chaos. 

So, thatÕs the last of our third objectives for this episode, and these strategies are what weÕve been talking about in all of our episodes thus far if you have been following along this podcast mini-series and thatÕs the four-step pathway. The first step, identify your observations with I statements. The second step, name your feelings that are universal. The third step, connect to your universal needs. 

Connect to your universal needs, and the fourth step, make a request of others, and this is in your workbook to download. So, grab a handout, scan that QR code, get that workbook. These are some of the pages that are listed there that are going to help you for reframing your texts, your emails, your conversation when you go communicate like a pro with the higher-ups after this episode. 

All right, when weÕre able to identify and now express what weÕre feeling and weÕre needing using this four-step pathway to communicate compassionately, right? Now, we talk Š the four steps that weÕve talked about in our other episodes and again, given to us by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg if you want to look him up, itÕs here. ItÕs here when we are connecting to those feelings and needs that we are starting to balance ourselves in the conflict. 

It is here that we begin to care for everyoneÕs needs and not just our own. ItÕs here that we begin to express ourselves free from judgment, blame, criticism, right? Because weÕre now expressing ourselves in a way that connects to what weÕre feeling and needing. WeÕre unlayering that onion, weÕre dropping below the words of our thoughts to, ŅWhatÕs going on with me? What am I feeling? What am I needing?Ó 

And in doing this, we create space now for relationships to strengthen, teams to be more productive, environments to be more peaceful and harmonious, and honestly, endless, endless possibilities that can be strategized. ThereÕs so many solutions to solving problems that we can all bring to the table and work through, right? So many, so many. So, the four-step pathway, again in your workbook, be sure to check that out.

[0:53:38.9] But for those of you who love sentence starters, it has the sentence starters in there too. So, for your observation, ŅWhen I see. When I hear. When I observe.Ó Step two, feelings, ŅI feel.Ó Step three, ŅBecause I needÓ or ŅBecause I valueÓ or ŅBecause it matters to me thatÓ right? Or, ŅBecause itÕs important to me that.Ó And then the fourth step is request, ŅWould you be willing to? Would it be possible if? Would you mind?Ó 

All of those nice little sentence starters for you to take all of their story in your mind and put it into this framework to now communicate with the higher-ups like a pro. Getting back to the words of our participants, remember they said, ŅCaseloads are high, paperwork is perfused, meetings are too long. ItÕs difficult to tell administration in a clear manner why so many people on a caseload makes doing my job less effective.Ó

So, putting this in a framework, okay, it might sound like this. So, I want you guys to listen up for the observation, those I statements, for the, ŅI feelÓ statements, for the ŅI needÓ statements, and any requests that are positive, actionable, and clear because we always want our request to be positive, actionable, and clear. So, letÕs pretend this is my email now, well, my email that I am writing to the administration. 

ŅDear administration, when I observe that my caseload is at 75 students and the paperwork is profuse, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted because I need to be efficient and effective in my role. The diversity and complexity of cases.Ó Remember that, more pointers, ŅDemand varying amount of attention and time. When meetings.Ó This is our observation, ŅAre two to three hours in length, taking time from my report writing, and numerous errors occur because I burn out. 

I feel burnt out when IÕm finally able to get to writing them, I feel concerned and stressed because I need a work environment that supports accuracy and excellence. I am experiencingÓ which is just a shade of ŅI feelÓ when you want to switch up a little, ŅIÕm experiencing intense emotions such as hopelessness, anger, and irritation. I feel emotionally drained and anxious because I need a balanced and supportive work atmosphere.

When I notice, when I observe that there isnÕt enough time to address all tasks adequately, I feel stressed and worried because I need to stay in compliance with timelines. I need that integrity. I noticed the high caseload also affects my rapport with my students and relationships with my team. I feel concerned and disappointed because I need to build strong connections with clients and colleagues.

When I see that administration does not email me back about the challenges arising from the workload, I feel stuck and unheard because I need open and effective communication channels. Therefore, IÕm requesting a meeting next week with you to address the workload issues, including a review of caseload distribution, streamlining paperwork processes, and exploring strategies to enhance efficiency.

I believe that by addressing these concerns, we can create an environment that will be supportive for more well-being, reduce errors, and strengthen relationships; ultimately contributing to the overall success of everyone. Sincerely, me.Ó 

[0:57:28.1] So, there we have it. All right, whoÕs with me? Can you hear? Give me a big shout-out in the chat box for yes. If you can hear the observation statements, me pointing out specifically the numbers, the diversity in my caseload, the emotions that IÕm experiencing, the needs that I have, yes, the request that I am making. IÕm seeing yes, yes, yes. Katie, yes, ŅCan we get a copy of this example?Ó

Yes, Katie, IÕm on that because you know what guys? We are here for you and if that is your need, I want to make that happen. Yes, Katie. Steven, yes. Jonnie, yes. Dana, yes. ŅThank you for the examples.Ó Absolutely guys, and you can tweak it. You can copy and paste and change it around to make the words your own because youÕre going to have your own details and your observations, your caseload numbers. 

Your own, ŅYou know, IÕve got four tries this week and three new students just came into my caseloads.Ó You know, your observations are going to look different but the things that can remain the same is, ŅWhen I see, observe, notice, I feel, because I need, or because I value, or because I have a desire for. Would you be willing to?Ó Those are the sentence starters that are in that workbook and guess what? 

The universal feelings that you can plug in there, the universal needs that you can plug in there are in that workbook also. There are charts that are provided for you that use feeling words that will not put people on the defense. If you said something like, ŅI feel abandonedÓ people might close their ears because that might be a word that triggers them. ŅWell, I didnÕt abandon you.Ó But we can change and reframe that to a universal feeling word thatÕs in that vocabulary banks. 

Such as, ŅI feel alone.Ó Okay, using alone instead of abandoned, right? So, grab that workbook, grab those frameworks, throw in those feelings, throw in those needs, think about what you would like to ask people, and again, make those requests clear, actionable, and positive. All right, there we have it, everyone. Today, youÕre walking out with really understanding the pain points around this high caseload, workload, right? 

And universal feelings and needs behind them. WeÕre understanding the different habitual ways that we can respond to conflict and weÕre also learning new approaches now, the four-step framework, observation, feeling, needs, requests. ThatÕs my practical tip that I want you to walk away with today when you are framing those emails, when you are framing those texts, when you are conversing both in your personal life and your professional life, with anybody where you think that you are experiencing conflict or challenge. 

[1:00:13.1] All right, I want to check in one more time with everybody here together. IÕd like to close now with a check-in on whatÕs alive for you, right now, in this moment as we are closing out, if you want to popcorn some feelings that youÕre having right now or some needs that were met or maybe even not met from our session together, I really invite you to do so. Your feedback is so critical and important in us making sure that we are creating professional development that supports you in the trenches in the field. 

So, popcorn, everybody sharing, I want to hear hope. I see hope, I love that, hopeful. Yes, hopeful that these strategies can make a difference, and again guys, itÕs like love. Just start sprinkling it and see the difference it makes. ŅGreat ideas to try.Ó Yes, thank you. Thank you and begin to implement those ideas, one small step at a time. Relief, oh I love that, gosh, isnÕt relief such a great feeling? 

ŅThank you, I am pregnant and burning out right now.Ó Yes, oh wow, ŅThis was a very useful presentation.Ó Katie, congratulations on the pregnancy, and IÕm so happy that this met your need for maybe a contribution on ways to handle that burnout that you can implement that. Enlightenment, yes, Hazel, thank you. I love that Hazel, enlightenment. Everybody, thank you so much. 

I want to end our session on gratitude, just gratitude to our participant for sharing their struggles and pain points because that struggle is real. Like itÕs not just a saying, IÕm not trying to be cute. The struggle is real guys, it is out there, and we can all relate to it. So, just a quick moment to take a deep breath in and out with gratitude. Just gratitude for our guest, coming and closing in this together. 

Before we just open up for any last questions, breathing in one more time and out, so much gratitude for all of you, and for trusting me with your one hour very valuable time in your life. I feel honored and I appreciate you, thank you so much. Remember to download your free guide to the four-step pathway with some script phrases and a framework for you. For more information about me, head to my website at goldenstateofmindpd.com. 

My Instagram is @golden.state.slp but youÕll just see pictures of me traveling and my daughter and my LinkedIn, Stephanie Michele Sweigart, with one L, and you can also join my email list to receive free resources as it relates to compassionate communication in your personal email or I mean, in your personal and your professional life by going to goldenstateofmindpd.com and popping in your email. 

[1:02:39.3] Thank you so much everybody for being here. YouÕre welcome, Dana. Any questions you want to pop in the chat box before we head out, I am here for you. You can also, if something comes up for you later, feel free to put it in the feedback form that you will fill out. Your responses are Š I know it takes time to check those boxes or give us any comments, positive or constructive feedback, itÕs all welcomed. 

WeÕre here again to support you. All right everybody, blessings to you all, and good luck with your communication. I hope you are communicating with the higher-ups like a pro after todayÕs episode. Take care. 

[END OF INTERVIEW]

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SLPL SEASON 12 EPISODE 300Transcript



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